Captain Mack: This is your soul plane chauffeur Captain Antoine Mack speaking. Welcome aboard NWA flight 069 from the 310 to the 212. It's time to bust this coney y'all. In a hot second, I'll be hittin' them switches and gettin' this bitch pumpin' and jumpin'. So screw your sh*t on tight and enjoy the flight.
Professor Moody: So, what curse shall we see first? Weasley! Ron: [scared] Yes? Professor Moody: Stand! [Ron does] Professor Moody: Give us a curse. Ron: Well... my dad did tell me about one. The Imperius Curse? Professor Moody: Oh, yeah, your dad would know all about that one. Gave the Ministry a lot of trouble at one time. Perhaps this will show you why. [opens a jar full of spiders and picks one out] Professor Moody: Hello, my little beauty! Engorgio. [the spider grows to a huge size] Professor Moody: Imperio! [the spider begins hopping around the room, onto student's clothes, faces, etc. Everyone starts laughing] Professor Moody: Don't worry, she's completely harmless! If she bites... she's lethal! [laughs with everyone] Professor Moody: Talented, isn't she? What shall I have her do next? Jump out the window? [the spider jumps toward the window, which is closed, and slams into the glass. Everyone stops laughing at once] Professor Moody: Drown herself? [the spider jumps to a pail of water and poises on the rim, ready to dive. Then he brings her back to his arms] Professor Moody: Scores of wizards and witches claimed that they only did You-Know-Who's bidding under the effects of the Imperius Curse. But here's the rub... how do we sort out the liars?
Prince Naveen: [Tiana had just turned into a frog] Easy, princess! Princess! Do not panic! Princess Tiana: [covering herself and panicking] Augh! What did you do to me? I - I'm green and I'm - and I'm slimy! Prince Naveen: No, that is not slime! [he takes her hand and rubs a finger over her arm] Princess Tiana: What? Prince Naveen: [grinning] You are secreting mucus. [Tiana twitches and tackles him]
Dr. Hundtkinder: Captain Hauser, Mr. McCullen requires a signature. Ripcord: It's not gonna explode, is it? Dr. Hundtkinder: They're not weaponized yet, and the kill switches are inside. All the same, I'd avoid potholes if I were you.
Heather Donahue: Witches in days gone by were roasted just like my Vienna sausage.
[Pete, disturbed by the saxophone music on a radio, switches the channels] Phil: What'd you change it for? I liked that. Pete Dayton: Well, I don't! Phil: I liked that.
TV Sports Announcer: [announcing basketball game on TV] 3 seconds left. The shot is up... TV Narrator: [Peyton switches channel] Welcome to the magical world of ponies!
Cheryl: Happy Halloween, Retail Rodeo shoppers. There's a Retail Rodeo special on all bulk candy on aisle 4. Ghouls and goblins, witches and warlocks, wandering these aisles day after day, I put a Halloween curse on your hellish heads.
[after Eva is given one hour to find sperm instead of the one she swallowed out of passion] Eva: You're my last chance. Ted the Bellhop: W- Whoa. Uh-uh. No way. Nope. Besides... it's against hotel policy. I was warned. "No sex with the clientele." Eva: [bewitches Ted with her eyes] Oh. [now topless, puts her arms around dizzy Ted before the screen fades out]
Freaky Student: [Dean Van Horne walks to his car which explodes suddenly. View switches to Bartleby and the Freaky Student] Told ya.
Ross: [on Monica's phone] Yeah, Tony, hold on. [gets second line] Ross: Hello? Yeah, she's right here. Hold on. [returns to second line] Ross: Yeah, Tony I'll call you back. It's my sister's boyfriend. [switches back to second line] Monica: Give me that. [into phone] Monica: Hi sweetie. Before I forget, did I leave my diaphragm at your house? [pause] Monica: Oh, hi mom. [starts throwing things at Ross]
Laurie Bohner: We are Winc. W-I-N-C. Witches In Nature's Colors.
Morgan Spurlock: [while consuming a double quarter-pounder supersize meal] See, now's the time of the meal when you start getting the McStomach ache. You start getting the McTummy. You get the McGurgles in there. You get the McBrick, then you get the McStomach ache. Right now I've got some McGas that's rockin'. My arms... I feel like I've got some McSweats goin'. My arms got the McTwitches going in here from all the sugar that's going in my body right now. I'm feeling a little McCrazy.
Mayor: [cheerfully] How horrible our Christmas will be! Jack Skellington: *No.* [the Mayor switches to his unhappy face] Jack Skellington: How *jolly*. Mayor: Oh. How *jolly* our Christmas will be. [gets pelted by bones and a ball, growls over his desk to see who did it - then recoils in fear] Mayor: What are YOU doing here? Lock: Jack sent for us. Shock: Specifically. Barrel: By name. Lock: [removes his mask] Lock! Shock: [removes her mask] Shock! Barrel: Barrel! [licks his lollipop] Mayor: Jack, Jack... it's - Boogie's boys! Jack Skellington: [kneeling] Ahh... Halloween's finest *trick*-ortreaters... The job I have for you is top-secret. It requires craft! Cunning. mis... Shock: [innocently] And we thought you didn't *like* us, Jack! [the three laugh] Jack Skellington: Absolutely no one is to know about it, *not a soul*! Now... [begins to whisper, the Mayor attempts to listen through his megaphone then reaches inside to stop something blocking it - and is bitten by a spider before flinging it out] Jack Skellington: [Jack stands and the three prepare to leave, but he grabs Barrel's jacket] And one more thing - leave that no-account Oogie-Boogie OUT OF THIS! Barrel: Whatever you say... Jack. Shock: Of course, Jack. Lock: Wouldn't dream of it, Jack! [they hide their crossed fingers and run off, laughing]
Narrator: For a thousand years the worlds divide. Creatures of magic in Holloweentown reside. Witches and Goblins forced to take flight, driven away by evil Iron Knights. But the era is over - the worlds reunite. The portal is open, but not without a fight.
[At the Airport Security Walk-through] Airport Security Checker: What is this? Snake: A garbage disposal. Airport Security Checker: A garbage disposal? Snake: Portable. Airport Security Checker: You'll have to turn it on. Snake: It's got a timer. [turns the switches of the bomb on] Snake: Grounds up your garbage, while you're out.
Voice of Fatso: The only good fleshie is a scared fleshie! Voice of Casper: But why do you scare them? Voice of Fatso: 'Cause they can't scare back. Voice of Stinky: Uhh... except for witches. Voice of Casper: What's wrong with witches? Voice of Stretch: Wake up and smell the coffin! Witches are fleshies with power! Now go unpack the stuff, washcloth! Voice of Casper: Geez, louise, what a buncha grumps. [sadly floats out the door] Voice of Stretch: Ahh, this is the afterlife. Voice of Fatso: Zzzz... Voice of Casper: [comes back in through the door, shouts] Witches! The three guys: [yell] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Mayor: [singing] What a splendid idea! This Christmas sounds fun. I fully endorse it - [while shooing away a bat he switches his face to look unhappy] Mayor: let's try it at once!
Father Moore: Emily, can you hear me? Emily Rose: [in Latin] I am the one who dwells within. Father Moore: And I am the one who comes in His name. Emily Rose: You think you can force me out, priest? Emily Rose: Try. Emily Rose: I dare you. [Emily twitches robotically and falls to the ground]
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