Vincent:
Wow.
RJ:
Vincent!
Vincent:
So I was just on my way down here to kill you, and I stopped to watch the show, and I gotta say... that right there, is a thing of beauty. That is the most vicious, deceitful, self-serving thing I've ever seen. [Chuckles]
Vincent:
Classic RJ. You take the food, and they take the fall. You keep this up, your gonna end up just like me. Having everything you ever wanted.
RJ:
But I already had that.
Vincent:
What, them? Who are you kidding? You said it yourself, you're a family of one. Always will be. It's how guys like you and me survive. So a few saps got hurt in the process. Tough. That's life. Trust me, you don't need them.
RJ:
Actually, I do. And right now, they really need me. So I really need this! [Takes the wagon with all the food]
Vincent:
RJ!
Azrael:
Get me a... Holy Bartender.
Bartender:
Never heard of it.
Azrael:
Ahh, he doesn't know how to make a Holy Bartender. You do, don't you, Muse?
Serendipity:
Don't...
Azrael:
Ahh, anybody? No? [Jay and Silent Bob shake their heads]
Azrael:
Well, I know how to make a Holy Bartender... [Azrael pulls out an uzi, shoots the bartender repeatedly, then laughs hysterically]
Azrael:
Get it?
Serendipity:
[restrained by the Stygian triplets who have suddenly appeared] Sweet Jesus, Azrael why?
Rufus:
Come on, demon, I wanna see you try that shit on someone who's already dead!
Azrael:
Now, now, apostle, you maintain that kind of an attitude and you and the barkeep won't be the only corpses in the room. The Christ bitch will join you. [referring to Bethany]
Masai:
So where do we start?
Cyrus:
We need to spread the word. We must reach out into every corner. Cross every border and convince, convey our message, our motive. And it must be with respect, not force, that they accept out invitation. As this word spreads and possibility enters the minds of all the city's gangs, then this message, this wisdom will begin to make sense. There's no other way. This is our destiny and this is our will. Now, go let all the gangs know about the truce. Forget no one under our network. No more than nine delegates may attend from any given gang and on this day, I want no action. No soldier will carry a shank, a bat, a stick, a brick or a gun. Now go, Masai and let our troops know what must be done.
Greg Focker:
[high on Truth Serum, giving a speech] Hello everybody. I am, uh, about to set sail on my ship... on the sea of life with my first mate - the beautiful Pamela Byrnes.
Pam Byrnes:
Love you, baby! [blows kiss]
Greg Focker:
[drunkenly blows back kiss, pauses] I still masturbate to Pam. What? She's hot - check out those boobs. I just wanna lather 'em up with soap and rub my face in 'em. I could take a vacation in there. What? Gosh, sorry you're perfect! And there's another wonderful lady in the audience, my future mother-in-law Dina Byrnes! Dina-Dina-Bo-Bina-I-love-Dina! Byrnes! You know they say you can tell from looking at the mother what your wife will look like in the future - well, I'm looking, and I'm LIKIN... [Spies Jorge]
Greg Focker:
In my first... passionate sexual awakening, I made sweet sweet love to my housekeeper, Isabelle.
Pam Byrnes:
Come on, honey, that was in the past, so sit down.
Greg Focker:
No no no, baby - I gotta get this off my chest.
Pam Byrnes:
Please... sit.
Greg Focker:
We conceived a child. Come on up here, Jorge! This is the fruit of my loins. Come on - search your heart, you know it to be true. Yo soy tu papa! Yeah, I know, a lot of information to take in. Give that boy a hand. Oh, and Jack - Pam's pregnant. Focker out. [passes out]
Rachel:
Hi, wanted to introduce myself. I'm Rachel Wilcox. Nice to meet you.
Grace Cunningham:
Grace Cunningham.
Rachel:
[turning to Grace's friends] Hi, girls. How you doing? [turning back to Grace]
Rachel:
Look I just drove over here to tell you that Harlan and I- we're just friends now. Nothing's going to happen again, I promise. Scout's honor. So you guys can go and do whatever it is you do- I dont' know- have your summer fun and tell June that we're apart, even if we're not apart 'cause nothing's gonna happen and whatever has happened has happened already- so that's the end of it.
Grace Cunningham:
Fine. Now why don't you just go home and leave us all alone?
Rachel:
Okay, see, I tried to be nice, but let me put this a different way because you're not really getting it right now. If you call me a name, if you throw something at me- ever again!- if I see you talking to Harlan, yelling at Harlan, having anything AT ALL to do with Harlan, I will find all of your boyfriends and I will fuck them stupid. Okay? Get it? Thanks guys. [as she's walking away]
Rachel:
Thanks for your time. Have a good summer!
Grace Cunningham:
I am gonna pray for her.
Bill:
He'll accept you as his student.
The Bride:
Caught him in a good mood, aye?
Bill:
More like a sadistic one. Just seeing those steps again makes me ache. You're gonna have plenty of fun carrying buckets of water up and down that fucker.
The Bride:
Why did he accept me?
Bill:
Because he's a very very very old man. And like all rotten bastards, when they get old, they become lonely. Not that that has any effect on their disposition. But they do learn the value of company.
The Bride:
When will I see you again?
Bill:
That's the title of my favorite soul song of the Seventies.
The Bride:
What?
Bill:
Nothing. When he tells me you're done.
The Bride:
When do you think that might be?
Bill:
That my dearest, all depends on you. Now remember, no backtalk, no sarcasm. Least not for the first year. You're going to have to let him warm up for you. He hates Caucasians, despises Americans, and has nothing but contempt for women, so in your case, that may take a little while. Adios.
