Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery  - Quotes

 
[Looking at the man that Austin Powers had drowned and left in the toilet]
Cowboy:
Jesus Christ, boy! What did you eat?
 

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The Doom Generation  - Quotes

 TV Anchorwoman:
Commonly worn by satanists, homosexuals, and other dangerous cults.
 

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Cyborg 3: The Recycler  - Quotes

 Decaf:
He's a creator. Without him many of us wouldn't be here today.
 

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Natural Born Killers  - Quotes

 Wayne Gale:
I thought a bond developed between us!
Mickey:
No. Not really. You're scum, Wayne; you did it for RATINGS. You don't give a shit about us or anybody else except yourself; that's why nobody gives a shit about YOU. That's why "helicopters" were not "deployed."
 

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Robin Hood: Men in Tights  - Quotes

 Angry Villagers:
LEAVE US ALONE, MEL BROOKS!
 

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Universal Soldier  - Quotes

 Scott:
[after he shot the prison bus driver that was driving Luc and Veronica] Excuse me! You should check out your driver! He don't look so hot! Hahaha
 

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The Cutting Edge  - Quotes

 Kate:
[about Anton's dangerous new move] It's illegal!
Anton:
Legano... Illegano... Is grey area.
 

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Kate & Leopold  - Quotes

 Leopold:
I feel as though we've met on a previous occasion.
Kate:
Well Lionel, seeing as how I've never met any of Stuart's friends, not even sure he has any, I don't think that's possible.
 

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Wet Foot Duck  - Quotes

 Narrator:
That night, Harvey ate some hummus in his car and slept there. Looking up at the stars he felt at one with the universe, and decided that having something as material as a home just wasn't what he desired. He would live like an enlightened pilgrim from now on, and would rid himself of all unnecessary belongings. After three hours he woke up feeling like some brute had shoved him into a freezer.
 

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The Man Who Loved  - Quotes

 Big Mike:
You know what's a sure sign to prove you're cool? Having awesome facial hair.
Mariya:
But some of us can't grow facial hair...
Big Mike:
You're not trying.
Mariya:
Well, I have big boobs, and that's pretty cool.
Big Mike:
Then I'm still cool, because I'm packing both.
Ryan:
Wouldn't that then make Santa Claus the coolest one of all?
J. D.:
Hell, yeah, man; I'm down with the Claus.
Ryan:
I like Santa Claus, because he brings you presents. Unless you've been bad; then he brings you coal.
 

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The Supermarket  - Quotes

 Newman:
Hey Madore, got a mission for ya.
Madore:
I don't do that type of work anymore.
Newman:
One last job, for old time's sake. We need you to bring this broom and dustbin to the produce back room. [Wheels out a dry erase board and flips it around, revealing a huge detailed schematic of the store]
Newman:
This should be all hush-hush because you know how territorial they get about us stealing their stuff. I'd recommend using the secret entrance through the back hallways, but that's blocked by the latest watermelon shipment. We'll need you to insert in the open, possibly in their view. Once you deliver the package, we'll need you to exfiltrate as quickly as possible. We don't want you to get caught up in old rivalries and have a goddamn world war on our hands.
Madore:
You want me to go into produce territory, without backup?
Newman:
I'm sorry Madore. But this is the situation. We need the best we've got, and that's you.
Madore:
[Clenching a cigar in his teeth] I'm gettin' too old for this shit.
 

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Defunct  - Quotes

 Fanny:
[Fanny recieves a telephone call from the police] Hello?
Police man:
Oh hello, yes. Is this Miss. Fanny?
Fanny:
It depends what you want doesn't it? I mean if you're calling to tell me you've been infected with Herpies then I'm sorry but you have the wrong number. On the other hand if you're calling because you want someone to suck on that big fat hard...
Police man:
...Miss Fanny this is a serious matter. I'm Mr. Truman calling from the North Scrubs police department. Are you sitting down, Miss Fanny?
Fanny:
Well I would say so, I can't get out of my chair I'm so fat!
 

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Diary of the Dead  - Quotes

 Jason:
Say who you are, Eliot.
Eliot Stone:
You just did. I'm Eliot.
Jason:
Tell us more.
Eliot Stone:
Eliot Stone, Harrisburg, PA. And I'm here with you fine people because... I don't know... I'd like to get home, too. It's on the way. I'm hoping you'll be so kind as to drop me off.
 

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Gears of War  - Quotes

 Marcus Fenix:
Baird, what's the status on that APC?
Damon Baird:
[over radio] The status is that it sucks.
 

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Man in the Basement  - Quotes

 Simon:
What awaits for us when we die? Paradise? Perdition? Or perhaps nothing at all... For me, I ended up at the bottom of a staircase in seven different pieces.
 

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Mr. Brooks  - Quotes

 
[upon seeing that he was photographed murdering two people]
Mr. Earl Brooks:
You see that, Marshall? That's why I didn't want to do the dance couple.
Marshall:
Stop your fucking whining, Earl. You enjoyed doing that couple just as much as I did, and look at the bright side - he came to us. He didn't go to the cops. If he tries to shake us down, we kill him. Period. We make it fun, but we kill him! End of story.
 

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Arrested Development  - Quotes

 George Sr.:
Don't get involved. Believe me. When I thought your first wife was pulling us apart, I did not make a stink.
Michael:
You complained all the time and she was my only wife and she died.
George Sr.:
Well, see? Things have a way of working themselves out.
 

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The Village  - Quotes

 Lucius Hunt:
There are different types of love.
 

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The Analysts  - Quotes

 Dave:
Please, listen to him. This could destroy Synergy Wireless as a corporation and take us with it. We'll spend years working 80-hour weeks out of our cubicles, reeking of BO, sleeping between system builds and, when it fails, the rest of our shattered lives will be spent wandering the desert from headhunter to headhunter, begging for one last chance at a project with a rational budget and timetable, or at least one that doesn't violate basic tenets of space-time!
 

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Anus Magillicutty  - Quotes

 Anus Magillicutty:
Pull outta me!
 

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Complete Savages  - Quotes

 Sam Savage:
What three famous words did he utter?
Chris Savage:
Stop stabbing me!
 

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The Grey Zone  - Quotes

 Girl:
After the revolt, half the ovens remain, and we are carried to them together. I catch fire, quickly. The first part of me rises, in dense smoke, that mingles with the smoke of others. Then there are the bones, which settle in ash, and these are swept up to be carried to the river. And last, bits of our dust, that simply float there, in air, around the working of the new group... These bits of dust are grey. We settle on their shoes, and on their faces, and in their lungs. And they become so used to us, that soon they don't cough, and they don't brush us away. At this point, they are just moving, breathing and moving, like anyone else, still alive in that place. And this is how the work... continues.
 

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Bartleby  - Quotes

 Bartleby:
I don't drive.
The Boss:
You don't drive? Well, then how did you get here? Did you walk? There are no sidewalks! [speaks into the intercom]
The Boss:
Vivian, can you take a bus here?
Vivian:
[speaking through the intercom] Ah... yes. From my house I would take the 36 to the terminal in town. Then transfer there to the 80 and get off at the shopping center then catch the 48. There's only one - at 7:10 AM. The ride is roughly an hour and a half from the mall, so to get here by nine, I have to leave the house by 4:45. My car was in the shop last week so I looked into the bus schedule but [pause]
Vivian:
, obviously, I took a taxi.
The Boss:
[pause] Thank you, Vivian.
 

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The Whole Nine Yards  - Quotes

 Jimmy:
[speaking about Oz] You are the most chivalrous guy I've ever met.
Jill St. Claire:
Do you see why I couldn't kill him?
Jimmy:
I love him!
 

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Gone in the Night  - Quotes

 Cindi Dowaliby:
Don't tell us what we can't do, Andy. Tell us what we can.
 

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Lethal Seduction  - Quotes

 Gus Gruman:
I own that trashy brunette!
 

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Pet Sematary II  - Quotes

 Gus Gilbert:
Get your ass out here Drew Gilbert, front and center!
Drew Gilbert:
He is gonna kick my ass!
 

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Baby Let Your Hair Hang Down  - Quotes

 Georgia Van Cuylenburg:
In life, when something bad happens to us we always ask "Why me?" But what if we really stopped and asked "WHY ME?"
 

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Death Proof  - Quotes

 Jungle Julia:
Okay, we're pretty clear on what it is you didn't do. How bout' enlightening us on what it is you did do?
Arlene:
Nothing to write home about. We just made out on the couch for about twenty minutes.
Shanna:
Dressed, half dressed, or naked?
Arlene:
Dressed! I said we made out. We didn't do "the thing".
Jungle Julia:
Excuse me for living, but what is "the thing"?
Arlene:
You know, it's everything but.
Shanna:
They call that "the thing"?
Arlene:
I call it "the thing".
Shanna:
Do guys like "the thing"?
Arlene:
They like it better than no thing.
 

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Private Practice  - Quotes

 Dr. Naomi Bennett:
I wish i was a little bit more like you.
Dr. Addison Montgomery:
What an adulterous bitch who forgot to have kids?
 

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Doubt  - Quotes

 Sister Aloysius Beauvier:
What exactly happened in the rectory?
Father Brendan Flynn:
Happened? Nothing happened. I had a talk with a boy.
Sister Aloysius Beauvier:
About what?
Father Brendan Flynn:
Private matter.
Sister Aloysius Beauvier:
He's twelve years old, what could be "private?"
 

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Gears of War  - Quotes

 Marcus Fenix:
[after using chainsaw bayonet] Ugh, I think I got some on me, now I got the cooties.
 

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Gears of War  - Quotes

 Augustus Cole:
Who loves ya, baby?
Damon Baird:
Yeah yeah yeah group hug... Where's Rojas?
Augustus Cole:
[shakes head]
 

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Gears of War  - Quotes

 Marcus Fenix:
Control, could you give us Delta Two's location?
Anya:
[over radio] GID readings are faint. Looks like... the sewer system?
Damon Baird:
[over radio] There's shit everywhere!
Augustus Cole:
[over radio] C'mon, Baird! A little bit of this is good for you! Builds your immune system.
Damon Baird:
[over radio] Yeah, it also builds disease. Delta Two out.
Dominic Santiago:
...No way.
Marcus Fenix:
Sucks to be them.
 

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Should Heaven Fall  - Quotes

 Nails:
How're ya feeling Lips?" "Ya know Lips, we haven't talked for a while. I'm curious about a few things and I was hoping you could help me out with them.
Nails:
I was there at O'Connors when you told us about those crates coming in Tuesday last. You never did tell us what was in those crates.
Nails:
Not that it mattered, cuz we were gonna make the pinch whether it was guns or lollipops. The reason why I bring this up, Lips, is when we got there, whaddaya know? There were no crates, Lips.
Nails:
Just a bullet in Vargas. No crates Lips! Now I liked Vargas, he was a good cop. So the whole thing just doesn't add up.
Nails:
You tipped them off to us, Lips. They knew we were coming. No, No, then that must mean you lied to us. Huh? Is that what you did Lips, you lied to us, Lips?
Nails:
We don't like liars here Lips. And we don't like stoolies either.
Nails:
I'm no mathematician, Lips, but the whole thing just doesn't add up otherwise.
 

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The Hottest State  - Quotes

 Jesse:
[to William in the restaurant] A lot of bad shit is gonna happen to you. People are not gonna love you back, and if you're serious about becoming an artist, that's the first thing you should learn. And, listen, you're gonna die, okay? Relatively soon, okay? So, that being said, you have nothing to worry about.
 

Crossing Jordan  - Quotes

 Jordan:
I have so much energy.
Macy:
Yeah, I can tell. Read your autopsy report. 12 pages to tell us she was hit in the back of the head with an unidentifiable object.
 

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Billboard Dad  - Quotes

 Tess:
How come you didn't tell on us?
Ryan:
'Cuz I'm not a rat.
Tess:
Spare us the prison code of honor. You didn't tell on us 'cause now you've got one up on us. You can use it later when you really want re revenge.
 

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The Mask of Zorro  - Quotes

 Alejandro Murrieta:
[upon first meeting her] Be careful senorita, there are dangerous men about.
Elena:
Well if you see one, be sure to point him out.
 

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The Nightmare Before Christmas  - Quotes

 Lock:
[singing] I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door, and then, knock three times, and when he answers, Sandy Claws will be no more!
Shock:
[singing] You're so stupid! Think now! If we blow him up to smithereens, we may lose some pieces!
Lock, Shock:
[singing] And then Jack will beat us black and green!
 

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Family Matters  - Quotes

 Steve Urkel:
You're a wonderful teacher.
Ms. Steuben:
No, I'm a nervous teacher! I have a muscle in my forehead that will not stop jerking!
 

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Road Trip  - Quotes

 E.L.:
Yep. I'd give us about 20 minutes before our first ass-raping.
 

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HouseSitter  - Quotes

 George Davis:
What she told us was how sorry you were, like the other week, when you cried? No shame in it, son. Just don't do it too often. Nobody likes a cry baby.
 

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Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story  - Quotes

 Peter La Fleur:
Well, if you can't raise fifty-thousand dollars with an impromptu carwash, I guess it jus wasn't in the cards.
 

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Quotes of the Day