Desiree Armfeldt:
Hello, mother.
Madame Arnfeldt:
To what do I owe the honor of this visit?
Desiree Armfeldt:
I just thought I'd pop out and see you both, is that so surprising?
Madame Arnfeldt:
Yes.
Desiree Armfeldt:
You're in one of your bitchy moods, I see.
Madame Arnfeldt:
If you've come to take Fredrika back, the answer is no. I do not object to the immorality of your life; merely to its sloppiness. Since I have been tidy enough to have acquired a sizeable mansion and a fleet of servants, it seems only common sense that my granddaughter should reap the advantages of it. Isn't that so, child?
Fredrika Arnfeldt:
I really don't know, Grandmother.
Madame Arnfeldt:
Oh, yes, you do, dear.
Verona:
What’s up, corpse?
Chev Chelios:
Bonjour, douchebag. I thought you might be interested in a little deal.
Verona:
Are you a dealer? Is that what you are now?
Chev Chelios:
Don't worry about what I am. Listen, I want the antidote.
Verona:
Oh... Oh, the antidote?
Chev Chelios:
That's right, the antidote.
Verona:
What are you prepared to give me, asshole?
Chev Chelios:
How about the jewelry I got off that faggot brother of yours, you fucking cocksucker?
Verona:
Hmm.
Chev Chelios:
Don't pop a blood vessel, you little penis.
Verona:
All right.
Chev Chelios:
Oh, you like that deal don't you?
Verona:
Yeah, whatever.
Chev Chelios:
Well. I'll be at the downtown Lint in 20 minutes. You know the spot?
Verona:
Yeah I know it.
Chev Chelios:
Well don't be late or I'll trade this thing in to some whore for a fuckin' hand-job.
Verona:
Look, I said I'll fuckin' be... [throwing punches everywhere and yelling]
Verona:
I'll fuckin' be there!
Chev Chelios:
See you later sunshine.
Rafiki:
Asante sana Squash banana, Wiwi nugu Mi mi apana.
Adult Simba:
Come on, will you cut it out?
Rafiki:
Can't cut it out. It will grow right back. Hehehe.
Adult Simba:
Creepy little monkey. Would you stop following me! Who are you?
Rafiki:
The question is, who... are *you*?
Adult Simba:
[sighs] I thought I knew, but now I'm not so sure.
Rafiki:
Well, I know who you are! Shh. Come here, it's a secret. [Whispers, then grows louder]
Rafiki:
Asante sana Squash banana, Wiwi nugu Mi mi apana!
Adult Simba:
Enough already! What's that supposed to mean anyway?
Rafiki:
It means you're a baboon... and I'm not.
Adult Simba:
I think you're a little confused.
Rafiki:
Wrong! I'm not the one who's confused. You don't even know who you are!
Adult Simba:
Oh, and I suppose you know?
Rafiki:
Sure do. You're Mufasa's boy! [Simba turns around to look at him, shocked]
Rafiki:
Bye!
Miranda Priestly:
Do you know why I hired you? I always hire the same girl- stylish, slender, of course... worships the magazine. But so often, they turn out to be- I don't know- disappointing and, um... stupid. So you, with that impressive résumé and the big speech about your so-called work ethic- I, um- I thought you would be different. I said to myself, go ahead. Take a chance. Hire the smart, fat girl. I had hope. My God. I live on it. Anyway, you ended up disappointing me more than, um- more than any of the other silly girls.
Ron Burgundy:
[singing] Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight / Gonna grab some afternoon delight / My motto's always been, "When it's right, it's right" / Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland:
[singing] When everything's a little clearer in the light of day / And we know the night is always gonna be there anyway.
Brian Fantana, Brick Tamland:
[singing] Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite / Looking forward to a little afternoon delight / Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite / And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting.
Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland:
[singing] Sky rockets in flight / Afternoon delight.
Ron Burgundy:
You guys have it, I think.
Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland:
[singing] Afternoon delight.
Champ Kind:
I don't know Ron, That sounds kinda crazy.
Brian Fantana:
Sounds like you have mental problems, man.
Brick Tamland:
Yeah you got mental problems, man.
Brian Fantana:
Yeah, he really does.
Brick Tamland:
Man.
Ron Burgundy, Brian Fantana, Champ Kind, Brick Tamland:
[singing] Afternoon delight.
Jim's Dad:
Musilage is dangerous territory, and uhh, I would think any adhesive product would have a warning right on the tube.
Jim:
I thought it was a, uhh, a lubricant. Ok, i was trying to use lubricant.
Jim's Dad:
Oh... oh...
Wheelchair Lady:
**looking at Pussy Palace** Son, couldn;t you have left that disgusting thing at home?
Jim's Dad:
Excuse me?
Wheelchair Lady:
Well, that kind of material is offensive to me.
Jim's Dad:
Ohh, well we're sorry, but uh, but you see my son COULDN'T leave it at home because uhh, he's having a bit of a MEDICAL EMERGENCY?
Jim:
That's right. Thanks Dad.
Jim's Dad:
Your opinion of his taste in video rentals is no a priority lady. Ok? It's at the bottom of the totem pole. My son is sitting here right now with his hand glued to his penis, but that doesn't mean anything to you does it? Because you dont have a penis. Or maybe you do?
