Harry Potter: [teaching Dumbledore's Army] Working hard is important, but there's something else that's even more important: believing in yourself. Look at it this way: every great wizard in history has started out as nothing more than we are now - students. If they can do it, why not us?
Mike Chadway: OK, we've gotta teach you flirting. Abby Richter: I know how to flirt. Mike Chadway: Oh, OK. "My name's Abby and I enjoy reading Tolstoy, taking long walks and romantic picnics." I don't think so. Abby Richter: [grabs Mike's ass, imitating his voice] Hey baby, wearing any underwear? Mike Chadway: Hey, I would never say that and I wouldn't grab ass. Abby Richter: [still imitating him] What's wrong with a little ass grabbing, I mean what's it there for if not for me to grab it? [she squeezes Mike's ass tightly which makes him wince in pain] Mike Chadway: You are a deeply disturbed person. Abby Richter: [normal voice] Maybe I'm just a really good student. [Runs her hand down his chest and upper body] Mike Chadway: Will you stop doing that? Abby Richter: Doing what? [still running her finger up and down his body] Mike Chadway: Running your finger down... there... over me. Abby Richter: Why, is it turning you on? Mike Chadway: [forces a laugh as if to say "yeah right"] Maybe. Abby Richter: [seductively] You know, I think I kinda like it. Mike Chadway: Really? Abby Richter: [leaning in, her face almost touching his] Sucker. Mike Chadway: [annoyed] I knew it. That's it, no teaching the teacher.
Fishlegs: I'm really beginning to question your teaching methods.
Wesley: Mr. Hedare wanted me to inform you that he'll be at the factory for the rest of the afternoon. Laurel Hedare: If by the factory you mean he's at the Four Seasons teaching Drina how to unlock the minibar. Consider me informed. Wesley: But he said he'll be working with... Laurel Hedare: Wesley, George hasn't said anything meaningful to me since he said "I do".
Coach Cherri Wolf: Today we're gonna be talking about reproduction and its consequences. In order for you to learn what it's like to take care of a ten pound [makes finger quotes] Coach Cherri Wolf: baby, each of you will be taking care of... a ten pound baby. First up, Jerri Blank. Jerri Blank: But I've had plenty of babies. Just none I've carried to full term. Coach Cherri Wolf: Come get the baby, Jerri. Jerri Blank: I don't understand the point of this. Coach Cherri Wolf: The point, Jerri, is for you to learn a valuable lesson. Jerri Blank: Which is? Coach Cherri Wolf: Well, if I told you the lesson, you wouldn't be learning it. I'd be teaching it.
[a classic Dodgeball instructional film begins] Uber Film Narrator: [U.A.I.F fanfare] Uber-American Instructional Films, teaching America's youth since 1938. [Opening; A boy rides a scooter, while a girl jogs behind him. Now we see a young boy painting a fence] Uber Film Narrator: Hey there, Timmy! Timmy: [yells] Holy mackerel, Mister. You scared the jeepers out of me. Uber Film Narrator: How would you like to take a break from that fine lead-based paint... and learn about Dodgeball? Timmy: Boy, would I! [the next scene take Timmy into a Opium Dem in China] Timmy: Wow! Where am I, Mister? Uber Film Narrator: You're in a Chinese Opium Dem, Timmy. This is where the sport of Dodgeball was invented in the 15th Century... by Opium-addictive Chinamen. But back then, the Chinamen threw severed heads at each other, instead of the A.D.A.A.-approved balls we use today. Timmy: A.D.A.A.? Uber Film Narrator: That's the American Dodgeball Association of America. Dodgeball is played with six players on each team... and six rubber balls. The object of the game is to eliminate the opposing players. Once all the players on team are eliminated, the opposing team wins! Timmy: Wow! I can't wait to get the fellas together and play!
Angela: Bullshit! Roy: No bullshit. And watch your mouth at the table... Angela: You're a con man? Roy: Con artist. Flim flam man, matchstick man, loser. Whatever. Take your pick. Angela: And that guy Frank? Roy: He's my partner. My protege... Angela: Teach me something... Roy: You're funny. Angela: Teach me something! A con. Roy: I'm not teaching you anything... Angela: Why not? Roy: Because your far too bright and innocent and beautiful and I'm not going to screw that up like everything else. Angela: You really think that? That I'm beautiful? Roy: No. Angela: Well then why won't you. Because crime doesn't pay? Roy: No it does. It does. Just not very well. Angela: Well you seem to be doing alright by it. Roy: I'm not. Believe me. It's no fun doing what I do. A lot of times it's stealing from people who don't deserve it. Old people. Fat people. Lonely. A lot of times I feel sick about it. Angela: Well then why do you do it?
Gina: [Joey's teaching Michael how to meet women] That should be easy: "How you doin'?" "How you doin'?" "How you doin'?" Joey: Hey, it worked on all your friends.
Faher Halligan: [after Damon is acquitted for George's murder, Gwen is asked to resign from teaching at her Catholic grammar-school] ... Gwen, you know all of us have been moved by your courage during this trying time in your life. Last night, the Board of Directors decided to reward you with a sabatical, so that you could have time to heal properly. Gwen Saticoy: I thought the summer vacation would do that. Faher Halligan: In my experience, a trial such as the one you've been through can take a long while to heal. Gwen Saticoy: So this "healing period" would overlap next year's school calendar? Faher Halligan: Well, much as that would be a disappointment to us all, we're willing to sacrifice your tremendous services for the sake of your well-being. Gwen Saticoy: [realizes that, in effect, she's being fired] Not to mention the sake of St. Augustine's coffers. What happened, Father Halligan? Did the contributors threaten to cancel those big checks if I'm still teaching their kids? Faher Halligan: What the contributors did or didn't do is entirely beside the point. Gwen Saticoy: On the contrary, I believe it entirely IS the point. Faher Halligan: I TOLD them what a fine teacher you are, and how lucky the school is to have you. In the end, there was nothing else I could do. Gwen Saticoy: Wasn't there?
[teaching Dizzy how to fight] Clem: First thing you wanna do is gouge the dude's eyes out. Luther: Hey, it's just kids in high school. Clem: Oh. So you're gonna want to fight dirty.
Dewey Finn: [teaching Lawrence a handshake] Slap it. [they smack the palms of their hands together and then the back of their hands together] Dewey Finn: Shoot it. [they pretend like their hands are guns and shoot at each other] Dewey Finn: Kaboot it. [they pound their fists together]
Victor Melling: [teaching Gracie how to glide] See? Glide. It's all in the buttocks. Don't I look pretty? Gracie Hart: It takes a very secure man to walk like that.
Dave Firpo: [while teaching yoga to hostages] This is your basic yoga, I learned it in prison. It's good for stressful situations like this bank robbery, or if you're ever in prison and you're surrounded by ten men, helps relax you.
Bobby McCallister: Did she ever make you nervous? Jack McCallister: Why would missy make me nervous? Bobby McCallister: Not Missy. Girls, I mean. Jack McCallister: Not since 4th Grade. Is that about that little girlfriend of yours? Still not going to tell me who it is, huh? [pause] Jack McCallister: OK, lay it on me. Bobby McCallister: Well, I was wondering. She said that I kiss like a girl. Jack McCallister: [laugh] Bobby McCallister: It's not funny. So, what do I do? Jack McCallister: Learn to kiss better? Bobby McCallister: How? Jack McCallister: I don't know. Watch a movie like everybody else. Bobby McCallister: Which? Like "Pillow Talk"? Jack McCallister: God, you are do weird. Look, you got to tell Mom to knock it off with that Film Society stuff. Bobby McCallister: Is there anything that you can tell me? Jack McCallister: I'm not teaching you how to kiss, dumbass. Bobby McCallister: Not How to, it's not how to. Jack McCallister: Well, don't kiss like a girl for starters. Bobby McCallister: Well, what does that mean? Jack McCallister: You know take the initiative, be the guy. Beyond that I'd say: no biting, drooling, or anything too crazy. You think you can handle that? Bobby McCallister: Maybe.
Jack Kelly: There's a lot of people out there, and they ain't just gonna go away. They got voices now and they're goin' to be listened to. Putting them in jail is not going to stop them. That's the power of the press, Joe. So thanks for teaching me about it. Seitz: Those kids put out a pretty good paper there, Chief. Joseph Pulitzer: I ordered a printing ban on all strike matters. Now, who defied me? Whose press did you use to print this on? Whose? Jack Kelly: Well, we only use the best, Joe. So, I just want to say... thanks again.
Anne Sullivan: Why should I talk to you? I'm teaching Percy!
Party Guest: So, what have you been up to? Party Guest: I'm teaching. Party Guest: Really, what? Party Guest: I'm teaching men to refill ice trays. [They both laugh as Juan joins them.] Juan Lopez: Now that was cold." [He laughs.] Juan Lopez: Get it? Cold? Ice? It was a joke. [As they walk away.] Juan Lopez: Hey, I like jokes too.
Shirley Baniszewski: Don't worry Jennie. Mamma's just teaching her.
Easy: I don't think they're teaching manners anymore at the schools. Marg: I guess not. Easy: So how's business? Marg: Pretty slow. What are you doing here Easy? Easy: Getting rid of stuff we don't need anymore. Marg: Georgia, you must know Mr. Kimbrough, he's the butcher. Georgia: I'm a vegetarian. Easy: We like that. Marg: This is my granddaughter, Georgia. Easy: Granddaughter indeed. And the hoverer, my son Dwight and with his permission you can call him Beagle.
Pecker: [Making a toast] And my little sister Chrissy, for teaching me that life is nothing if you're not obsessed.
Mameha: [while teaching Sayuri] You cannot call yourself a truse geisha until you can stop a man in his tracks with a single look.
[Teaching Lestat how to kill] Marius: Appreciate your prey.
Man: [a t-ball coach teaching Stuart to swing] Now, Stuart, you have to get angry and swing at the ball. What makes you angry , Stuart? Stuart Larkin: [eyes narrow, voice becomes a growling whisper] The *world*.
Brooke Taylor: She said that I'm fine, my numbers were normal, and there was nothing that gave her concern. Grant Taylor: That's good. Brooke Taylor: It doesn't mean the problem is with you. Grant Taylor: What else could it mean? Brooke Taylor: We may just have not given it enough time. Grant Taylor: Four years? Brooke Taylor: You still hoping we'll have a baby? Grant Taylor: You know I am. Brooke Taylor: Me too. I catch myself thinking about it more and more. Don't you want to know if something is preventing it? Are you afraid of getting checked out? Grant Taylor: Yes. Brooke Taylor: Grant, I'm still clinging to a hope that one day we'll have children. I imagine them running in this house. I hear them playing in the backyard. Or running to our bed in a thunderstorm. And I think about reading them stories and teaching them songs. And I just keep thinking; how can I miss someone so much that I have never met? Grant Taylor: I'll go.
Shirley Baniszewski: I thought we were just teaching her.
Mac Carter: [seeing tyler teaching a bunch of people the dance he and Nora made up] Man, what is this? Tyler Gage: It's part of my community service
Hannibal King: Hey Blade, I got a question for you. Say we're successful, say we wipe out all the vampires. What then? Huh? Ever ask yourself that? I mean, somehow I don't picture you teaching Karate at the local Y. [Blade just walks off] Hannibal King: He hates me, doesn't he? Abigail Whistler: Yeah.
[Sullivan is teaching his son how to drive] Michael Sullivan: Look out for the tractor, Mike. Michael... look out for the tractor. You're coming up now. Watch out for the tractor. Watch out for the tractor! Watch out for the tractor! [Sullivan, Jr. swerves to avoid the tractor in the nick of time] Michael Sullivan, Jr.: We made it! Michael Sullivan: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah, yeah. We made it.
[the boys are teaching Craig how to fight dirty] Reese: For convenience, we have divided the human body into the three major theaters - the head... [a watermelon with eggs for eyes] Reese: ... the torso... [a garbage bag full of sausages] Craig Feldspar: What are those? [points to a bag of plums] Reese: You know what those are.
D.W.: [Arthur is teaching D.W. the hand signals on a bike] What's this mean? [makes a funny face and waves her tongue in various directions] Arthur Timothy Read I: I dunno, what? D.W.: [Mr. Sipple comes running to Arthur and D.W. only wearing a towel around his waist and carrying a cabbage] Hi, Mr. Sipple. What's this? Mr. Sipple: What's that? You did this! [mimics D.W.'s funny face] Mr. Sipple: Where I come from, doing this while on a bike means "Bring me a cabbage, fast"! [running off] Mr. Sipple: I left the tub running, bye!
Miles Raymond: [after teaching Jack how to evaluating a glass of wine prior to tasting] ... Are you chewing gum? Jack: What? No! No... Miles Raymond: [after a long drawn out pause] ... Spit it out.
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: [teaching Mia the art of the fan; Mia is making faces behind her fan] Are you sassing your grandma? Mia Thermopolis: I would never sass you, Grandma! [Clarisse proceeds to swat Mia playfully with her fan]
Forrest Gump: You died on a Saturday morning. And I had you placed here under our tree. And I had that house of your father's bulldozed to the ground. Momma always said dyin' was a part of life. I sure wish it wasn't. Little Forrest, he's doing just fine. About to start school again soon. I make his breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. I make sure he combs his hair and brushes his teeth every day. Teaching him how to play ping-pong. He's really good. We fish a lot. And every night, we read a book. He's so smart, Jenny. You'd be so proud of him. I am. He, uh, wrote a letter, and he says I can't read it. I'm not supposed to, so I'll just leave it here for you. Jenny, I don't know if Momma was right or if, if it's Lieutenant Dan. I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it's both. Maybe both is happening at the same time. I miss you, Jenny. If there's anything you need, I won't be far away.
Judge: You are sentenced to two years hard labor - teaching high school.
John Phillips: If I was that good of an actor, I wouldn't be teaching to make a living.
Judge: It is the prerogative of this court to find you guilty of engaging in sexual activity that robs the resolution of its right to personal value. Generating no income for the common cause, which is the autonomy of the individual. Gross impedance of human potential for progress, a blow against a thriving economy, an inconsiderate perverse insistence of one's own selflessness. You are sentencing to two years hard labor - teaching high school. Next.
Luc: [looking at a photo of Charlie] How did you meet? Kate: At a party. I'd just come to Toronto on a teaching exchange. We started talking. I had this feeling about him, same for him. It wasn't exactly a thunderclap or a lightning bolt, it was more like a... Luc: Light drizzle? Kate: [rolls her eyes] You really, honestly never had that feeling about anybody in your whole entire life, honestly? Luc: If I did, I would not admit it. His chin looks a little weak, if you ask me. Kate: It doesn't, and I didn't, and why wouldn't you admit a feeling like that? Luc: Why should I? Look where it has got you. Kate: Maybe if you did, you wouldn't have that little problem we're not supposed to talk about. Luc: It's not a problem, it's just a temporary...
Crot: [teaching George a leg-lock technique] Put leg on top of shoulder, lock with head. And now press on top of knee. George Chambers: [George applies pressure] Crot: Press George. George Chambers: [George increases pressure] Crot: Harder! George Chambers: If I press any harder, its gonna break! Crot: Good, maybe I start to feel the leg again.
Sheila: He's teaching me to change my instincts... or at least ignore them.
[Starfire is teaching Raven how to fly, because they have switched bodies, and requires a happy thought] Starfire: Very, very good. What was your joyful thought? Raven: You don't want to know... Starfire: Oh, but I do... please tell me... what did you imagine? Raven: You not talking. Starfire: Oh... well then... I'm glad I can contribute...
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