Clyde Shelton:
[in court, laughing and clapping after judge grant bail, after his charade] Thank you.
Judge Laura Burch:
Excuse me?
Clyde Shelton:
No, I don't think I will excuse you. You see, this is what I'm talking about. You were about to let me go. Are you kidding me? This is why we're here in the first place. You think I don't remember who you are, lady?
Judge Laura Burch:
I would tread carefully, Mr. Shelton.
Clyde Shelton:
Well, how carefully should I tread? Because apparently I just killed two people, and you were about to let me walk right out that door! How MISGUIDED are you? I feed you a couple of bullshit legal precedents, and there you go - you jump on it like a bitch in heat. Folks, you all hang out...
Judge Laura Burch:
[nervously starts pounding with gavel on a sounding block] I'm warning you, Mr. Shelton!
Clyde Shelton:
...in the same little club...
Judge Laura Burch:
You will be held in contempt!
Clyde Shelton:
...and every day you let madmen and murderers back on the street. You're too busy treating the law...
Judge Laura Burch:
[keeps pounding] One more time!
Clyde Shelton:
...like it's a fucking assembly line!
Judge Laura Burch:
One more time.
Clyde Shelton:
Do you have any idea what justice is?
Judge Laura Burch:
You are now...
Clyde Shelton:
Whatever happened to right and wrong?
Judge Laura Burch:
...in contempt of court.
Clyde Shelton:
Whatever happened to right and wrong?
Judge Laura Burch:
Remove this man.
Clyde Shelton:
Whatever happened to the people?
Judge Laura Burch:
Bail denied!
Clyde Shelton:
Whatever happened to justice?
Judge Laura Burch:
Bail denied!
Clyde Shelton:
And I bet you take it up the fucking ass, bitch.
Judge Laura Burch:
Bailiff!
Clyde Shelton:
[to Nick Rice, as he's being dragged away in cuffs by policemen] Hey, see you later, Nick.
Montoya Santana:
I hear Little Puppet's name is on a piece of paper, ese.
J.D.:
I want you to cosign it.
Montoya Santana:
I'm taking it off, ese.
J.D.:
That punk got you kicked back in the hole, set us all back. Now he's running around talking loud shit about how he wants out of La Eme. His number's up, homes.
Montoya Santana:
I said I'm taking it off, ese.
J.D.:
What's gonna happen is gonna happen. Don't try to stop it. You understand me? I'm asking you, carnal.
Montoya Santana:
Is that where it's gotten to, ese?
J.D.:
Brothers are talking about you.
Montoya Santana:
What are they saying, ese?
J.D.:
They're saying that you're not showing them anything.
Montoya Santana:
You know, a long time ago, two best homeboys, two kids, were thrown into juvie. They were scared, and they thought they had to do something to prove themselves. And they did what they had to do. They thought they were doing it to gain respect for their people, to show the world that no one could take their class from them. No one had to take it from us, ese. Whatever we had... we gave it away. Take care of yourself, carnal.
Ron Weasley:
It's beautiful, isn't it? The moon.
Harry Potter:
Divine. Had ourselves a little late night snack, did we?
Ron Weasley:
It was on your bed, the box, I just thought I'd try one.
Harry Potter:
Or twenty.
Ron Weasley:
I can't stop thinking about her, Harry.
Harry Potter:
Honestly, you know, I reckon she was starting to annoy you.
Ron Weasley:
She could never annoy me. I think I love her.
Harry Potter:
Oh... brilliant.
Ron Weasley:
Do you think she knows I exist?
Harry Potter:
Well, I'd bloody well hope so, she's been snogging you for three months.
Ron Weasley:
Snogging? Who are you talking about?
Harry Potter:
Who are you talking about?
Ron Weasley:
Romilda, of course. Romilda Vane.
Harry Potter:
Okay, very funny.
Ron Weasley:
[throws the chocolates box at Harry]
Harry Potter:
What was that for?
Ron Weasley:
It's no joke! I'm in love with her!
Harry Potter:
Alright, fine, you're in love with her! Have you ever actually met her?
Ron Weasley:
No... Can you introduce me?
Persnikitty:
Will you please keep quiet? God, god! Oh, this really is too much.
Garfield:
Hey, Persnikitty! Happy Chapman's cat! What are you doing here?
Persnikitty:
I was his cat, until I outlived my purpose. And then he replaced me with a dog and dumped me in this wretched place. All humans are the same.
Garfield:
Not my owner. He only does what's best for me. He puts up with me and he feeds me.
Persnikitty:
And he lets you vacation in this charming animal pound. Hello.
Garfield:
Not for long, Persnikitty.
Persnikitty:
Would you please just stop calling me that? My name isn't really Persnikitty. It's Sir Roland.
Garfield:
Sir Roland.
Persnikitty:
Yeah, that's another one of Happy Chapman's acts of cruelty. I was trained in a classical theater, you know, mm-hmm. But now I'm a celebrity cable castoff cat, with a name I can never live down.
Garfield:
Well this may hurt a little, but, I'm trying to rescue the dog that replaced you, Persnikitty... I mean, Roland. Happy and Odie are getting on a train in less than two hours, to become regulars on Good Day New York.
Spanky:
Wait a minute. Did I just hear that? You're a cat that's trying to rescue a dog?
Garfield:
It's true, I know, it's a crime against nature. At first I thought he was a pain but, he's grown on me like a wart you wanna have removed until you realized it defines you in some funny way.
Persnikitty:
You know what, that is absolutely charming.
Spanky:
Let me ask you one question, chubby. What are you talking about?
Garfield:
How could you understand? He's my friend.
Charley Waite:
[burying Mose and Tig] Be right to say some words.
Boss Spearman:
You want to speak with the man upstairs, go on and do it. I'll stand right here and listen, hat in hand, but I ain't talking to that son or a bitch. And I'll be holding a grudge for him letting this befall a sweet kid like Mose.
Charley Waite:
Well, he sure as hell wasn't one to complain. Woke with a smile, seemed like he could keep it there all day. Kind of a man that'd say 'good morning' and mean it, whether it was or not. Tell you the truth, Lord, if there was two gentler souls in this world, I never seen 'em. Seems like old Tig wouldn't even kill birds in the end. Well, you got yourself a good man and a good dog, and I'm inclined to agree with Boss here about holding a grudge against you for it. I guess that means Amen.
Alonzo Harris:
To be truly effective, a good narcotics agent must know and love narcotics. In fact, a good narcotics agent should have narcotics in his blood.
Jake Hoyt:
Are you gonna smoke that?
Alonzo Harris:
No, you are.
Jake Hoyt:
[laughs] Hell if I am.
Alonzo Harris:
You not gon' smoke it?
Jake Hoyt:
Naw, man. I became a narc to rid the streets of dopers, not to be one.
Alonzo Harris:
Come on, man, take a hit.
Jake Hoyt:
Naw, man.
Alonzo Harris:
[Slams brakes] Yeah, right. If I was a drug dealer, you'd be dead by now, motherfucker. You turn shit down on the streets, and the chief brings your wife a crisply folded flag. What the fuck's wrong with you? Talking about - You know what? I don't want you in my unit. I don't even want you in my division. Get the fuck out the car. Go back to the Valley, rookie.
Jake Hoyt:
All right, I'll smoke it.
Steve:
Better heroes, huh? Listen, girls. My name is Steve. I'm a monster. I've been coming here for three days, causing all sorts of damage to your town. And what do I get? Two days of no-shows, and now this. A flag girl who does rope tricks, some rabbit, and Little Miss Darkness who's afraid of a little sun.
Buttercup:
Hey! Do you have any idea who you're talking to?
Bubbles:
We're superheroes!
Blossom:
Real ones!
Steve:
Yeah, well, that's great and all, but what am I supposed to tell the guys back on Monster Isle? You see, when a monster visits Townsville, he must fight the Powerpuff Girls. And if he can hold his own and make it back to Monster Isle alive, he's a hero. Now this new bit is just not gonna cut it. Sure, you didn't have a thirst for vengeance, stickers with your face on them, or souped-up vehicles, cause you didn't need them! See? Even if you take away the costumes, props, and angst, you still have all the bravery and courage it takes to save the day. So what do you say? Powerpuff Girls?
Blossom:
Let's get him, girls!
Steve:
Now that's better!
Eli Sunday:
Oh, Daniel, please... I'm in desperate times. I need a friend... I feel the walls closing in. I've sinned! I need help! I'm a sinner! I've let the Devil grab hold of me in ways I never imagined! I'm so full of sin.
Plainview:
The Lord sometimes challenges us, doesn't he?
Eli Sunday:
Oh yes he does! Yes he does! Oh! He's completely failed to alert me to the recent panic in our economy and this! I must have this! I've invested... my investments have... Oh, Daniel, I won't bore you, but I... If I could grab the Lord's hands for help I would, but he does these things all the time, these mysteries that he presents and while we wait, while we wait... wait for his word...
Plainview:
You're not the chosen brother, Eli. It was Paul who was chosen. He found me and he told me about your land. You're a fraud.
Eli Sunday:
Why are you talking about Paul? Don't say this... don't say this to me, Daniel.
Plainview:
I did what your brother couldn't. I broke you and I beat you.
Elizabeth James:
[thinking she is talking to her father, who has a newspaper up between them] Hey stranger...
Hallie:
[puts down newspaper. then] Hey Mom, did you know that the Concorde gets you here in half the time?
Elizabeth James:
[flustered] Yes, I, I've heard that...
Annie:
[after Hallie surprises Elizabeth and Annie by arriving in London and showing up at their home before Elizabeth and Annie do] What are you doing here?
Hallie:
It took us abound 30 seconds after you guys left for us to realize we didn't want to lose you two again.
Elizabeth James:
We?
Nick Parker:
[walking in from another room] We. I made the mistake of not coming after you once, Lizzie. I'm not going to do that again no matter how brave you are.
Elizabeth James:
And I suppose you just expect me to go weak at the knees, and fall into your arms, and cry hysterically. And say we'll just figure this whole thing out. A bi-continental relationship with our daughters being raised here and there. And. And, you and I just picking up where we left off and growing old together. And... and... c'mon, Nick, what do you expect? To live happily ever after?
Nick Parker:
Yes. To all of the above. Except you don't have to cry hysterically.
Elizabeth James:
[With tears in her eyes] Oh, yes I do. [he kisses her]
[the geography teacher uses a pointer to demonstrate, on the classroom blackboard, the world of Pleasantville, which consists of Elm Street, Main Street, and the Town Hall]
Miss Peters:
Last week, class, we discussed the geography of Main Street. This week we're going to be talking about Elm Street. Now, can anyone tell me the difference between Elm Street and Main Street? Tommy.
Tommy:
It's not as long?
Miss Peters:
That's right, Tommy, it's not as long. Also, it only has houses, so the geography of Main Street is different than the geography of Elm Street. [Jennifer is frowning in bewilderment. She raises her hand]
Miss Peters:
Mary Sue!
Jennifer:
Yeah. What's outside of Pleasantville? [the entire class turns to look at her]
Miss Peters:
I don't understand.
Jennifer:
Outside of Pleasantville? Like, what's at the end of Main Street?
Miss Peters:
[chuckles and shakes her head] Mary Sue. You should know the answer to that! The end of Main Street is just the beginning again. [the teacher points at the intersection of Elm and Main. The class feels released to giggle at Jennifer/Mary Sue's clearly stupid question, and Jennifer frowns again]
Jake:
What about her? [indicating hunchback girl walking by]
Austin:
So baby's got a little back. Hunch, that is. Naah, way too easy.
Jake:
OK. [indicates hippy albino girl playing guitar]
Albino Folk Singer:
[singing] I have no pigment...
Austin:
Any girl with a guitar is hot.
Albino Folk Singer:
[continues singing] I need sunscreen...
Austin:
Granted, she's a hippy albino. She could still be prom queen.
Jake:
OK, uh, what about the Fratelli sisters? [indicates awkward Siamese twins conjoined at the head]
Austin:
So they're slightly disfigured and connected at the head. But combined, those two make up one pretty decent chick.
Reggie Ray:
Yeah, I'd do 'em.
Austin:
I know you would, Reggie Ray. But no, I'm looking for somebody who's really messed up. I'm talking about a real shitbomb. [Janie Briggs walks by]
Austin:
Well, bombs away!
Jake:
No, no, no, no, anyone but her! Not... Janie Briggs! Guys, she's got glasses and a ponytail! Aw, look at that, she's got paint on her overalls, what is that? Guys, there's no way she could be prom queen!
Malik:
Damn! That shit's whack!
