Gawain MacSam:
Motherfuck!
Professor G.H. Dorr:
Yes. Unfortunately, Mrs. Munson has rather complicated the situation.
Gawain MacSam:
Yeah, well, I know how to decomplicate it. You bust a cap in that old bitch's head, everything be simple.
Professor G.H. Dorr:
Not easy to do. Many reasons. Practical ones. Quiet neighborhood, sleepy town. Reasons of moral repugnance. A harmless woman, a deed conceived and executed in cold blood. Oh, no, Gawain, would that it were simple.
Gawain MacSam:
Well, fuck, man! What we gonna do? Give the money back and go to church?
Professor G.H. Dorr:
I shudder. I quake. You, sir, are a Buddhist. Is there not a "middle" way?
The General:
Mm. Must float like a leaf on the river of life... and kill old lady.
[first lines]
Mark, Angel, Maureen, Roger, Collins, Benjamin Coffin III, Mimi:
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. How do you measure, measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes - how do you measure a year in the life? How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love... seasons of love.
Montgomery Burns:
So, you want some of my electricity, do you? Well, for once, the rich, white man is in control. I have two buttons behind my desk. One will provide your town with power, the other releases the hounds. Reach me. Make me your brother.
Dr. Hibbert:
The hospital's generator is about to give out. Lives will be lost.
Montgomery Burns:
[writing down] Lives... lost. Go on.
Chief Wiggum:
We have a convict we're gonna fry tomorrow, but now we can't.
Montgomery Burns:
Tempting, tempting...
Apu:
Look, all of our reasons mean nothing. Just look inside your heart and you will find the answer. [Smithers waves frantically and shakes his head no; cut to outside of mansion as screaming and barking is heard inside]
Apu:
Aaah!
Montgomery Burns:
First door on the right.
Apu:
Thank you.
Dr. Hibbert, Chief Wiggum, Apu:
[as they run out chased by dogs] Aaah!
Flanagan:
Fucking black people, huh?
Graham:
What did you just say?
Flanagan:
I mean, I know all the sociological reasons why, per capita eight times more black men are incarcerated than white men... Schools are a disgrace, lack of opportunity, bias in the judicial system, all that stuff... But still... but still, it's... it's gotta get to you, I mean, on a gut level, as a black man. They just can't keep their hands out of the cookie jar.
Bridget Jones:
I read that you should never go out with someone if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
Mark Darcy:
And can you think of three?
Bridget Jones:
Yes.
Mark Darcy:
Which are?
Bridget Jones:
First off, I embarrass you. I can't ski, I can't ride, I can't speak Latin , my legs only come up to here and yes I will always be just a little bit fat. And you, you fold your underpants before you go to bed!
Mark Darcy:
No, hang on! That-that can't be a reason.
Bridget Jones:
No, it's not a reason! But you're not perfect either! You look down your nose at absolutely everyone and you're incapable of doing anything spontaneous or potentially affectionate. [pause]
Bridget Jones:
It feels like you're waiting to find someone in the VIP room who's- who's so fantastic, just the way she is, that you don't need to fix her.
Mark Darcy:
Bridget, this is mad.
Bridget Jones:
And perhaps you thought you found her. [long pause]
Bridget Jones:
Do you *want* to marry me? [awkward silence]
Mark Darcy:
Look- I...
Bridget Jones:
You see, you can never muster the strength, to fight for me. [long silence. Mark opens his mouth and closes it again. Bridget walks out]
Harvey Pekar:
My name is Harvey Pekar - that's an unusual name - Harvey Pekar. 1960 was the year I got my first apartment and my first phone book. Now imagine my surprise when I looked up my name and saw that in addition to me, another Harvey Pekar was listed. Now I was listed as "Harvey L. Pekar", my middle name is Lawrence, and he was listed as "Harvey Pekar" therefore his was a - was a pure listing. Then in the '70s, I noticed that a third Harvey Pekar was listed in the phone book, now this filled me with curiousity. How can there be three people with such an unusual name in the world, let alone in one city? Then one day, a person I work with, expressed her sympathy with me, concerning what she thought, was the death of my father, and she pointed out an obituary notice in the newspaper for a man named Harvey Pekar. And one of his sons was named Harvey. And these were the other Harvey Pekar's. And six months later, Harvey Pekar Jr. died. And although I've met neither man, I was filled with sadness, 'what were they like?', I thought, it seemed that our lives had been linked in some indefineable way. But the story does not end there, for two years later, another 'Harvey Pekar' appeared in the phone book. Who are these people? Where do they come from? What do they do? What's in a name? Who is "Harvey Pekar"?
