Romeo:
If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this. My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.
Juliet:
Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this. For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.
Romeo:
Have not saints lips, and holy palmers, too?
Juliet:
Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.
Romeo:
Well, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do. They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.
Juliet:
Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.
Romeo:
Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.
Romeo:
[They kiss] Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.
Juliet:
Then have my lips the sin that they have took?
Romeo:
Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.
Juliet:
[they kiss again] You kiss by the book.
Colin:
Exciting news!
Tony:
What?
Colin:
I've bought a ticket to the States. I'm off in three weeks.
Tony:
No!
Colin:
Yes! To a fantastic place called Wisconsin.
Tony:
No!
Colin:
Yes! Wisconsin babes, here comes Sir Colin! Whoo hoo!
Tony:
No, Col! There are a few babes in America, I grant you, but they're already going out with rich, attractive guys.
Colin:
Nah, Tone, you're just jealous. You know perfectly well that any bar anywhere in America contains ten girls more beautiful and more likely to have sex with me than the whole of the United Kingdom.
Tony:
That is total bollocks. You've actually gone mad, now.
Colin:
No, I'm wise. Stateside I am Prince William without the weird family.
Tony:
No, Colin, no!
Colin:
Yes!
Tony:
Nyet!
Colin:
Da!
Tony:
Nein!
Colin:
Ja, darling!
[first lines]
Brodie:
[Brodie's voice] One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrasing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?" And he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.
