Miranda Priestly:
Do you know why I hired you? I always hire the same girl- stylish, slender, of course... worships the magazine. But so often, they turn out to be- I don't know- disappointing and, um... stupid. So you, with that impressive résumé and the big speech about your so-called work ethic- I, um- I thought you would be different. I said to myself, go ahead. Take a chance. Hire the smart, fat girl. I had hope. My God. I live on it. Anyway, you ended up disappointing me more than, um- more than any of the other silly girls.
Alexander:
A thousand ships we'll launch from here, Hephaistion! We'll round Arabia, and sail up the gulf to Egypt. From there, we'll build a channel through the desert, out to the middle sea. And then we'll move on Carthage, and that great island Cecily; they'll pay large tribute. After that the Romans - good fighters, but we'll beat them. And then explore the northern forests, and add the pillars of Heracles to the western ocean. And then one day, populations will mix and travel freely. Asia and Europe will come together. And we'll grow old, Hephaistion, looking out our balcony at this new world.
Russell Hammond:
[Russell grabs phone away from William] Hey, mom! It’s Russell Hammond. I play guitar in Stillwater. Hey, how does it feel to be the mother of the greatest rock journalist we've met? Hello? Hello...? Look, you've got a really great kid here. There's nothing to worry about. We're taking good care of him, and you should come to the show sometime - join the circus...
Elaine Miller:
Hey, hey, listen to me, mister. You're charm doen't work on me - I'm on to you. Of course you like him...
Russell Hammond:
Well, yeah...
Elaine Miller:
He worships you people. And that's fine by you as long as he helps make you rich.
Russell Hammond:
Rich? I don't think so...
Elaine Miller:
Listen to me. He's a smart, good-hearted fifteen year old kid with infinite potential.
Russell Hammond:
[Russell is stunned]
Elaine Miller:
This is not some apron-wearing mother you're speaking with - I know all about your valhalla of decadence and I shouldn't have let him go. He's not ready for your world of compromised values and diminished brain cells that you throw away like confetti. Am I speaking to you clearly?
Russell Hammond:
Yes - yes, ma'am...
Elaine Miller:
If you break his spirit, harm him in any way, keep him from his chosen profession which is law - something you may not value, but I do - you will meet the voice on the other end of this telephone and it will not be pretty. Do we understand each other?
Russell Hammond:
Uh, yes, ma'am...
Elaine Miller:
I didn't ask for this role, but I'll play it. Now go do your best. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to become a person of substance, Russell. Please get my son home safely. You know, I'm glad we spoke. [Elaine hangs up]
Russell Hammond:
[Russell stands holding phone in stunned silence]
Jesse:
This friend of mine had a kid, and it was a home birth, so he was there helping out and everything. And he said at that profound moment of birth, he was watching this child, experiencing life for the first time, I mean, trying to take its first breath... all he could think about was that he was looking at something that was gonna die someday. He just couldn't get it out of his head. And I think that's so true, I mean, all - everything is so finite. But don't you think that that's what, makes our time, at specific moments, so important?
Celine:
Yeah, I know. It's the same for us, tonight, though. After tomorrow morning, we're probably never going to see each other again, right?
Celine:
We, maybe we should try something different. I mean, it's no so bad if tonight is our only night, right? People always exchange phone numbers, addresses, they end up writing once, calling each other once or twice...
Jesse:
Right. Fizzles out. Yeah, I mean, I don't want that. I hate that.
Celine:
I hate that too, y'know.
Jesse:
Why do you think everybody thinks relationships are supposed to last forever anyway?
Celine:
Yeah, why. It's stupid.
Vanessa Kensington:
Look, I know I'm being neurotic, but I can't shake off this suspicious feeling about Miss Fagina. I don't want to sound paranoid, but I've had some bad relationships in the past, and I have been known to be jealous. I'm sorry.
Austin Powers:
No, don't be sorry, baby. You're right to be suspicious. I shagged her.
Vanessa Kensington:
What?
Austin Powers:
I shagged her rotten, baby, yeah!
Vanessa Kensington:
Did you used protection ?
Austin Powers:
Of course. I had my 9mm automatic.
Vanessa Kensington:
You know I meant, did you use a condom?
Austin Powers:
No, only sailors wear condoms baby.
Vanessa Kensington:
Not in the '90s Austin.
Austin Powers:
Well they should, those filthy buggers. They go from port to port.
Andy Stitzer:
[drunk] You know the thing about relationships is that they make one person go, "Blah blah blah blah blah," and the other person go, "What are you talking about?" And then one person goes, "Blah blah blah blah blah."
Cal:
How much have you had to drink, man?
Andy Stitzer:
Oh, how much have I had to drink? Hey, how many pots have you smoken?
Cal:
What are you talking about?
Andy Stitzer:
Oh, how many times have you gone to the bathroom in your life? Let me ask you that. You know what, you don't have an answer for that, do you? Who the fuck you, man? I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, you're such a good guy, and I appreciate you.
Daniel:
So, let's go. We can definitely crack this. Remember, I was a kid once, too. So come on, it's someone at school, right?
Sam:
Yeah.
Daniel:
Aha, good, good. And what does she - he - feel about ya?
Sam:
*She* doesn't even know my name. And even if she did, she'd despise me. She's the coolest girl in school and everyone worships her because she's heaven.
Daniel:
Good. Good. [sits on the couch next to Sam]
Daniel:
Well... [grins]
Daniel:
Basically, you're fucked, aren't you?
Bud Gerber:
You know what they're calling this bond drive? The Mighty Seventh. They might've called it the "We're Flat Fucking Broke And Can't Even Afford Bullets So We're Begging For Your Pennies" bond drive, but it didn't have quite the ring. They could've called it that, though, because the last four bond drives came up so short we just printed money instead. Ask any smart boy on Wall Street, he'll tell you our dollar is next to worthless, we've borrowed so much. And nobody is lending any more. Ships aren't being built, tanks aren't being built, machine guns, bazookas, hand grenades, zip. You think this is a farce? You want to go back to your buddies? Well stuff some rocks in your pockets before you get on the plane, because that's all we got left to throw at the Japanese. And don't be surprised if your plane doesn't make it off the runway, because the fuel dumps are empty. And our good friends, the Arabs, are only taking bullion. If we don't raise $14 billion, and that's million with a "B," this war is over by the end of the month. We make a deal with the Japanese, we give whatever they want and we come home, because you've seen them fight, and they sure as shit ain't giving up. $14 billion! The last three drives didn't make that much all together.
