Abigail Williams: A women comes to my bed every night now and tears out my eyes. Judge Danforth: Can you make out who she may be? Abigail Williams: I believe she be Reverend John Hale's wife sir. Judge Danforth: You must be mistaken my child. The wife of a minister be unlikely... Abigail Williams: Satan may reach anyone sir. Judge Sewall: Absolutely no one in the world is safe? Is that your meaning? Judge Danforth: You are mistaken child. Understand me?
Avalyn Friesen: [Walks through pasture with flashlight toward dead calf] Farmers have been finding mutilated cattle like this around here for years. I told "World of Mystery," but they conveniently edited it out. [Kneels] Avalyn Friesen: Daddy says it's just a bunch of Satan worshippers, going around, chopping up cows. Ha! C'mere - let me see your hand. [Guides BRIAN's hand to wound on calf] Avalyn Friesen: Feel that? It's the sex organs. They're gone. The aliens, they experiment on cattle, because the poor things are so defenseless. Us, on the other hand - they can't kill us. They just leave behind the hidden memories of what they've done. Which in a way is almost worse. Notice anything else strange? There's no blood. They took that, too.
Mastodon (band): [lyrics to opening song about movie theater etiquette] Don't talk, watch! Don't talk, watch! You came here. Watch it. Don't like it? Walk out. We still have all your fucking money. Do not nudge, kick or jiggle the seat in front of you. I'm sitting there! I am everywhere at once and I will cut you up. If you make out here, I will cut your lips and tongue from your head with a linoleum knife. Do not explain the plot. If you don't understand, then you should not be here. Your money is now our money and we will spend it on drugs. Do not crinkle your food wrappers loudly. Be considerate to others, or I will bite your torso and give you a disease. Did you bring your baby? Babies don't watch this. Take the seed outside. Leave it in the streets. Run over it after the show. If I see you videotaping this movie, Satan will rain down your throat with hot acid and dissolve your testicles and turn your guts into snakes. This is copyrighted movie for Time Warner. If I find that you've sold it on eBay, I will break into your house and tear your wife in half.
Pete: I've always wondered, what's the devil look like? Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, Pete, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork. Tommy Johnson: Oh, no. No, sir. He's white, as white as you folks, with empty eyes and a big hollow voice. He likes to travel around with a mean old hound. That's right.
The Man: [Satan bumps into a skateboarder who is wearing a "Satan Rules" shirt] Hey kid, nice shirt. Skateboarder: [Looks Satan up and down] Fuck you man. [Skates into the road] The Man: [Whispers] Hey Kid. [the skateboarder looks around and gets hit by a bus] The Man: ...Nice shirt.
[Bunny Breckenridge is being baptized] Reverend Lemon: Welcome to the fold, brother. Welcome. Praise the lord, brother. Do you reject Satan and all his evils? Bunny Breckinridge: Sure. [after his baptism, Bunny swims towards Ed Wood] Bunny Breckinridge: How do you do it? How do you get all your friends to get baptized just so you can make a monster movie? Edward D. Wood, Jr.: It's not a monster movie. It's a supernatural thriller.
Priest Vallon: Now, son, who's that? Young Amsterdam Vallon: Saint Michael. Priest Vallon: Who's that? Young Amsterdam Vallon: Saint Michael! Priest Vallon: And what did he do? Young Amsterdam Vallon: He cast Satan out of Paradise. Priest Vallon: Good boy!
[Satan interrupts the ceremony] Gabriel: Lucifer! Satan: This world is mine - in time.
Eric Stark: Jump, Cody, jump. If you believe in God, jump. And if not, you come to me. What do you believe in, Cody? My hand - it's here, you can see it. Satan rules it and it will protect you always... Or his hand? Is it there? Or isn't it? Will he catch you or not? If you believe, Cody, jump. JUMP! Cody: After you.
Serendipity: I'm responsible for nineteen of the twenty top-grossing films of all time. Bethany: Nineteen? Serendipity: Yeah, the one about the kid, by himself in his house, burglars trying to get in and he fights them off? I had nothing to do with that one. Somebody sold their soul to Satan to get the grosses up on that piece of shit.
Simon: I have seen God, and he is a blind beggar peddling lies! He has sold the world to the Devil and left only the husk for himself! Satan is master here! The sparrow-eater!
Sean: Satan is in the house. He killed my mom... and turned her into a bull.
Beatrice: [suggesting Satan would greet her spirit with] Get thee to heaven, Beatrice, get thee to heaven. Hell's no place for maids.
Heathcliff: Misery and degradation and death and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, you of your own will, did it. I have not broken your heart - you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.
[Julie is tied to an altar by a Satanic cult] Brittany Drake: It's time. Do you, Julie Swanson, take Satan as your eternally wedded mate? To have and to hold... [Julie screams into her gag] Brittany Drake: We'll take that as a "Yes".
Maj. Camus: Nothing like a good challenge. Lt. Ryker: We improvise and adapt, sir! Maj. Camus: We just stopped that thing, what was it called again, Lieutenant? Lt. Ryker: Armageddon, sir! Maj. Camus: That's the one. Lieutenant Ryker here killed Satan himself with a sharp stick. Good work soldier!
[Ralph, hallucinating, opens a closet door and sees Satan sodomizing Mary] Mary Lane: Remember me, Ralph? I've been sent to hell! A pubescent edition of Jezebel. It hurts a lot to bend! But, at least, I've made a friend. Ralph Wiley: Shut up! Satan: You murdered her, Ralph! Mary Lane: Murdered me! Ralph Wiley: Murdered you! Jimmy: Murdered me! Ralph Wiley: Murdered them! Jack Stone: [to Mae] What's eating him? Ralph Wiley: Jack! I saw Satan! And the kid. And Satan! And the girl. And *Satan*!
Grace Kelly: We don't worship Satan on Halloween. We do that on Mother's Day.
Nancy: You may think you've won, Brophy, but I know another way to reach all those people! Father Luke Brophy: Satan wait! Where do you think you're going? Nancy: I'm going to Disneyland!
William Somerset: If we catch John Doe and he turns out to be the devil, I mean if he's Satan himself, that might live up to our expectations, but he's not the devil. He's just a man.
Bob: Sean, what are you doin' outside man? Sean: you're him? Bob: ...yeah... I'm him Sean: [claps hands together] JESUS! Have i sinned or am i goin' to heaven? Bob: [laughing] you're fryin' man, how much acid did you take? Sean: you're not Jesus... you're Bob Bob: I'm Bob!... how goes it? Sean: how are you doin' that? Bob: doin' what? Sean: walkin' on water? if i get off this chair I'll drown, you wanna know what Bob? 'Cause i cant swim! Bob: oh, i get it! so Sean, d'you see land anywhere? Sean: [looking around] no... just water... say Bob, You ARE Jesus. Bob: Thats Right, I am, why do you ask? Sean: ...Satan, is in the house, he killed my Mom and turned her into a bull! Cops: [after flashback to a scene with Sean threatening his mother with a knife but being scared by Satan and a bull, his mother] [bob waves to Seans mum at the window who reluctantly waves back] Cops: [the Cops pull in] Put your hands in the air and slowly turn around! Sean: [happy as happy can be] I'M SAVED Bob: yeah... sure Sean... you're saved...
Amelia Minchin: [about Lottie] I swear, that child has a pact with Satan to destroy me!
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