Michael Moore:
I'm wondering why you expect your fellow Canadians, who don't have your problem, why should they, through their tax dollars, have to pay for a problem you have.
Canadian:
Because we would do the same for them.
Michael Moore:
Yeah, but...
Canadian:
It's just the way it's always been, and so we hope it'll always be.
Michael Moore:
Right. But if you just had to pay for your problem, and don't pay for everybody else's problem - just take care of yourself.
Canadian:
Well, there are lots of people who aren't in a position to be able to do that. And somebody has to look out for them.
Michael Moore:
Are you a member of like the Socialist party here?
Canadian:
No, no.
Michael Moore:
Green party?
Canadian:
No. Well, actually I'm a member of the Conservative party. Is that bad?
Michael Moore:
Well, it's just a little confusing.
Canadian:
Well, it shouldn't be. I think that where medical matters are concerned, it wouldn't matter in Canada what party you were affiliated with.
Jenny Szalinski:
So, here we are. This is the kitchen.
Ricky King, Party Bully:
Good, 'cause you know, I really wanted to be alone with you. [sets his hand on the counter near Diane and Patti]
Diane Szalinski:
[looking at Ricky's fingers in disgust] Ew, look, dirty fingernails.
Jenny Szalinski:
Really?
Ricky King, Party Bully:
Yeah, 'cause the truth is, Jenny, I think you're awesome.
Patti Szalinski:
Awesome? Don't fall for it, Jenny. He's just giving you a line.
Jenny Szalinski:
You do? You think I'm awesome?
Ricky King, Party Bully:
Oh, yeah. You're cooler than all the other girls. [Diane and Patti stare at each other confused]
Jenny Szalinski:
[in a serious tone] So, um, what is it you wanted to tell me?
Ricky King, Party Bully:
Nothing. Mostly, I just wanted to do this. [takes Jenny in his arms and kisses her on the lips]
Patti Szalinski:
What is she doing? She's too young. She doesn't even know that boy. [Jenny breaks the kiss]
Jenny Szalinski:
What are you doing?
Ricky King, Party Bully:
Kissing you.
Jenny Szalinski:
Well, you didn't ever ask.
Ricky King, Party Bully:
Ask what?
Jenny Szalinski:
Ask if I wanted to kiss you.
Ricky King, Party Bully:
What are you talking about?
Jenny Szalinski:
You just assumed that I wanted you to kiss me. I mean, I don't even know you, and even if I did know you and we talked and you got to know me and you asked me if I wanted to kiss, I might have been into it, but the way you did it was just... wrong.
Ricky King, Party Bully:
Well, lots of girls like that.
Jenny Szalinski:
Well, I'm not one of them. I don't happen to feel that way, and as far as you and I are concerned, the party is over. [exits the kitchen]
Patti Szalinski:
You tell him, Jenny! Access denied!
Diane Szalinski:
That is one good kid you have.
Patti Szalinski:
And you know what? She can take care of herself.
Rasputin:
Bartok, get me a comb, find some cologne. I want to look my best!
Bartok:
That might take some work, sir.
Rasputin:
We're going to a party!
Bartok:
A party? Ooh, I could teach you the latest dance step. It starts with, like, a "whoa." And then you get really crazy with the hips, sir. It's fun!
Rasputin:
We'll let the Grand Duchess Anastasia have her moment.
Bartok:
[dancing] Aah, who cares?
Rasputin:
And then we'll kill her!
Bartok:
Right. Kill... kill her? Sir, what happened to the party idea?
Rasputin:
That's where I will kill her. [laughs and tears up newspaper]
Rasputin:
Crush her at the height of her glory.
Bartok:
And we're back to the crushing. Sir, I'm begging you, please, please forget the girl and get a life!
Rasputin:
Oh, I'll get a life, Bartok. Hers!
Edgar:
I trust you found everything to your satisfaction?
Ella:
Yes, thank you.
Edgar:
Good, good. [Edgar knocks book off table]
Edgar:
Oh, dear. How clumsy of me. Pick it up. [Ella picks it up]
Edgar:
Very good. Now touch your toes.
Ella:
[touching her toes] Oh, no.
Edgar:
Oh, yes. And while you're about it, why don't you pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time? [Ella does so]
Edgar:
Now jump up and down.
Ella:
[jumping up and down] Please stop.
Edgar:
Wait. Perhaps you know this one. [sings]
Edgar:
Put your left foot in... [Ella puts left foot in]
Edgar:
...put your left foot out... [Ella puts left foot out]
Edgar:
...put your left foot in... [Ella puts left foot in]
Edgar:
...and shake it all about. Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. [Ella shakes]
Edgar:
Shake your booty. Shake your booty. [Ella shakes booty]
Edgar:
Oh ho! This is fabulous!
Heston:
Hate to be a party pooper, but Edgar, evil plans, remember?
Edgar:
Yes, you're right [to Ella]
Edgar:
Okay, stop.
E.L.:
Just copy off someone.
Josh:
I can't. It's all essay and stuff. You know, if I fail this, my average is shot, I might lose my financial aid, I could not be allowed on campus next semester.
E.L.:
Well, you're fucked, then. You might as well come to my party tonight, hook up with Beth, and at least enjoy your last week at college.
Josh:
I'm not hooking up with anybody, alright? I've made a commitment to Tiffany. I'm invested in this relationship.
E.L.:
Invested? Who are you, Charles Schwab? Would you listen to yourself? I would give my life for one night of consensual sex with her.
April Wheeler:
So now I'm crazy because I don't love you, right? Is that the point?
Frank Wheeler:
No! Wrong! You're not crazy, and you do love me. That's the point, April.
April Wheeler:
But I don't. I hate you. You were just some boy who made me laugh at a party once, and now I loathe the sight of you. In fact, if you come any closer, if you touch me or anything, I think I'll scream.
Frank Wheeler:
Frank: Oh, come on, stop this April. [He touches her for an instant and she screams at the top of her lungs before walking away. He chases after her]
Frank Wheeler:
Fuck you, April! Fuck you and all your hateful, goddamn - [He breaks a chair against a wall]
April Wheeler:
What are you going to do now? Are you going to hit me? To show me how much you love me?
Frank Wheeler:
Don't worry, I can't be bothered! You're not worth the trouble it would take to hit you! You're not worth the powder it would take to blow you up. You are an empty, empty, hollow shell of a woman. I mean, what the hell are you doing in my house if you hate me so much? Why the hell are you married to me? What the hell are you doing carrying my child? I mean, why didn't you just get rid of it when you had the chance? Because listen to me, listen to me, I got news for you - I wish to God that you had!
Lincoln Roth:
Twas the night before a party, when all through the town, no pigs were stirring, no cops were around.
Lincoln Roth:
We drank Seagram's, and smoked Panama Reds, while visions of the munchies danced through our heads
Lincoln Roth:
But all of a sudden, came a knock at the door. We all yelled 'Pigs' and hit the floor.
Lincoln Roth:
But what to our red-glazed eyes should appear? A fucking pound of Columbian, with two kegs of beer.
Lincoln Roth:
The man at the door flashed us a smile, so we said 'come on in, man, you should party a while.
Lincoln Roth:
But we heard him exclaim, as he flew through the sky: Marijuana to all, and to all a great high!
Garfield:
Careful. That's high-quality American cardboard you're tossing around in there. Beautiful, fellas. Hang the plasma over the slip-and-slide.
Winston:
Sire, a word?
Garfield:
Jowls, my lad. Guess what your enlightened, all-powerful ruler has brought to the castle.
Preston:
Oh, I can't wait to hear this.
Winston:
Don't tell me, a Renaissance painting.
Garfield:
Foosball, you know, foosball.
Winston:
Fo-fo-fo-foosball?
Preston:
What do you think this is, a pub?
Garfield:
Just because we don't have opposable thumbs, doesn't mean we don't play bargains.
Winston:
Yes sire, but I feel your life is in danger.
Garfield:
Listen, Winnebago, if I may call you that. When history speaks of me, and she will, I wanna be remembered as the Party Prince.
Winston:
As you wish.
