Young Noah:
It's not about following your heart and it's not about keeping your promises. It's about security.
Young Allie:
What's that supposed to mean?
Young Noah:
[yelling] Money. He's got a lot of money!
Young Allie:
You smug bastard. I hate you for saying that.
Young Noah:
You're bored Allie. You're bored and you know it. You wouldn't be here if there wasn't something missing.
Young Allie:
You arrogant son of a bitch.
Young Noah:
Would you just stay with me?
Young Allie:
Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we're already fightin'
Young Noah:
Well that's what we do, we fight... You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you're back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Young Allie:
So what?
Young Noah:
So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that's what you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out.
Young Allie:
What easy way? There is no easy way, no matter what I do, somebody gets hurt.
Young Noah:
Would you stop thinking about what everyone wants? Stop thinking about what I want, what he wants, what your parents want. What do YOU want? What do you WANT?
Young Allie:
It's not that simple.
Young Noah:
What... do... you... want? Whaddaya want?
Young Allie:
I have to go now.
Persnikitty:
Will you please keep quiet? God, god! Oh, this really is too much.
Garfield:
Hey, Persnikitty! Happy Chapman's cat! What are you doing here?
Persnikitty:
I was his cat, until I outlived my purpose. And then he replaced me with a dog and dumped me in this wretched place. All humans are the same.
Garfield:
Not my owner. He only does what's best for me. He puts up with me and he feeds me.
Persnikitty:
And he lets you vacation in this charming animal pound. Hello.
Garfield:
Not for long, Persnikitty.
Persnikitty:
Would you please just stop calling me that? My name isn't really Persnikitty. It's Sir Roland.
Garfield:
Sir Roland.
Persnikitty:
Yeah, that's another one of Happy Chapman's acts of cruelty. I was trained in a classical theater, you know, mm-hmm. But now I'm a celebrity cable castoff cat, with a name I can never live down.
Garfield:
Well this may hurt a little, but, I'm trying to rescue the dog that replaced you, Persnikitty... I mean, Roland. Happy and Odie are getting on a train in less than two hours, to become regulars on Good Day New York.
Spanky:
Wait a minute. Did I just hear that? You're a cat that's trying to rescue a dog?
Garfield:
It's true, I know, it's a crime against nature. At first I thought he was a pain but, he's grown on me like a wart you wanna have removed until you realized it defines you in some funny way.
Persnikitty:
You know what, that is absolutely charming.
Spanky:
Let me ask you one question, chubby. What are you talking about?
Garfield:
How could you understand? He's my friend.
Jerome Davenport:
"Who will cry for the little boy, lost and all alone / Who will cry for the little boy, abandoned without his own"
Antwone Fisher:
"Who will cry for the little boy, he cried himself to sleep / Who will cry for the little boy, who never had it for keeps / Who will cry for the little boy, who walked on burning sands / Who will cry for the little boy, the boy inside a man / Who will cry for the little boy, who knew well hurt and pain / Who will cry for the little boy, who died and died again / Who will cry for the little boy, a good boy he tried to be / Who will cry for the little boy, who cries inside of me"
Jerome Davenport:
Who will cry for the little boy Antwoine?
Antwone Fisher:
I will, I always do.
Oscar Madison:
Felix, I haven't seen you in what, 8, 9 years?
Felix Ungar:
Seventeen! Seventeen years, Oscar, you couldn't remember that we haven't seen each other for seventeen years?
Oscar Madison:
To tell you the truth I didn't dwell on it. Alright, seventeen years, so your hair got whiter, your ears got bigger, your nose got longer, but you still retain that unique, elusive pain in the ass quality that drives me berserk.
Felix Ungar:
Oh really?
Vivian Jaffe:
You live all the time with things you can't see. You can't see electricity, can you? You can't see radio waves, but you accept them.
Bernard Jaffe:
Trust.
Albert Markovski:
Fuck trust!
Bernard Jaffe:
You better stay away from Caterine, Albert, 'cause she's gonna lead you down the path of darkness.
Vivian Jaffe:
She was our prize graduate student until she went astray.
Albert Markovski:
No, I think that I am going to stay with her, and the cracks and the pain and the nothingness, because THAT's more real to me, THAT's what I feel.
Tommy Corn:
Word.
Bernard Jaffe:
Okay, we're not sweatin' it.
Vivian Jaffe:
No, we're gonna work with Brad.
Bernard Jaffe:
It'll all come back to you and interconnection.
Albert Markovski:
Brad? Are you kidding me? I'm gonna work on that prick and it's all gonna come to pain and no connection!
Bernard Jaffe:
No.
Tommy Corn:
It's on.
Man:
Hmm. [lets go of Ted's face and pulls out some money]
Man:
One hundred, two hundred, three hundred. Here you are.
Ted the Bellhop:
I thought you said five hundred.
Man:
No, I said three hundred.
Ted the Bellhop:
No, sir. I distinctly heard you say five hundred.
Man:
Are you calling me a liar?
Ted the Bellhop:
No, sir. What I'm saying is that you accidentally forgot that the first thing you said...
Man:
But what I last said was three hundred, and what you say last is what counts.
Ted the Bellhop:
Well, then, if you say five hundred one last time, we have a deal.
Man:
You fucking with me, pendejo?
Ted the Bellhop:
No, sir, but I'm by myself, and looking after your kids is a pain in the ass I don't need.
Man:
[whispering] Are you calling my kids a pain in the ass?
Ted the Bellhop:
Why, no, sir, not the kids. It's the situation that is a pain in the ass.
Man:
No, you were right the first time. They're a pain in the ass. All right. You win, tough guy. Five hundred.
Captain Ahab:
So you crossed his wake again?
Capt. Boomer:
Aye. Twice.
Captain Ahab:
But you could not fast him?
Capt. Boomer:
Why would I want him? Isn't one limb enough? My wants a profitable home. No thank you, sir. No more white whales for me. He's best left alone.
Captain Ahab:
Aye, but he'll be hunted nonetheless! What's best left alone, Captain, isn't always least to fight. When did you last see him?
Capt. Boomer:
Upon my soul, sir, your blood's at boiling point!
Captain Ahab:
Which way was he headed?
Capt. Boomer:
Good God! East, I think!
Captain Ahab:
East! Mr. Starbuck, prepare to set sail! We've wasted enough to time. Good day to you, Captain!
Capt. Boomer:
What the devil is wrong with him? Has he lost his senses?
Starbuck:
My apologies, Captain Boomer. No offense meant, I'm sure, sir. 'Tis the pain in his stump.
Capt. Boomer:
The man's mad!
Mark Hoffman:
Hello Agent Strahm, if you are hearing this the nyou have once again found what you are looking for. or so you think. Your dedication is to be commended. But i ask you, if you have learned anything on your journey of discovery. As the old adage goes: "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." The situation you find yourself in is, but of trust, so, i ask you Special Agent Strahm, have you learned to trust me? The only way to survive this room is by entering the glass box before you. Pain will be incurred, but you have a chance of survival. However, if you choose not to, you will never be heard from again. Your body will never be found. You will simply vanish. I ask you, Special Agent Strahm, have you learned enough to trust me? Would you heed my warning? For if you do not, this room will forever be your tomb, and my legacy will become yours. Make your choice.
Charles Wheeler:
Please, wherever you are, return my wife to me. Kate, if you're listening, I want you to know that I'm okay. I hope you're holding up well, I hope that these gentlemen are treating you correctly, the way you should be treated, and speaking of which, I'm going to Spain next week, so if your kidnappers would like to contact me, they can get in touch with my people, and you know who they are, and the house is waiting for you, right here, where you belong. And the house misses you, I miss you... [Kate turns off the television]
David:
I went out with this girl for four months and it was the greatest greatest thing in my life. Until she went down on this guy in an Escalade, I think. And, you know, instead of, like, saying, "Okay, what am I doing that caused this behavior?" I dumped her. Stupid decision. I spent the last two years of my life regretting it.
Andy Stitzer:
Well, why don't you get her back right now?
David:
Oh, cause she's dating this pot dealer. Stupid, horrible decision. But, hey, that's her journey, you know. I gotta respect that. She wants to be some immature little bitch and blow everybody, that's... that's love, man.
Andy Stitzer:
It sounds horrible.
David:
Of course it's horrible. It's suffering and it's pain and it's... You know, you lose weight and then you put back on weight, and then you, you know, you call them a bunch of times and you try and email, and then they move or they change their email, but that's just love.
