H.M. Tilford:
We'll make you a millionaire while you're sitting here from one minute to the next.
Plainview:
What else would I do with myself?
H.M. Tilford:
Are you asking me?
Plainview:
What else would I do with myself?
H.M. Tilford:
Take care of your son. I don't know what you would do.
Plainview:
If you were me and Standard offered to buy what you had for a million dollars, why? So, why?
H.M. Tilford:
You know why.
Plainview:
Yeah, you fellows need to scratch around in the dirt and find it like the rest of us instead of buying up someone else's hard work.
J.J. Carter:
[defensively] I've scratched around in the dirt, son.
H.M. Tilford:
Where you going to put it all? Where? Build a pipeline, make a deal with Union Oil, be my guest. But if you can't pull it off, you got an ocean of oil under your feet, with nowhere to go. Why not turn it over to us? We'll make you rich. You spend time with your boy. It's a great discovery... Now let us help you.
Plainview:
[after a long pause] Did you just tell me how to run my family?
H.M. Tilford:
It might be more important now that you've proven the field and we're offering to buy you out.
Plainview:
[stares at Tilford for a long moment] One night, I'm gonna come to you, inside of your house, wherever you're sleeping, and I'm going to cut your throat.
H.M. Tilford:
What? What are you taking about? Have you gone crazy Daniel?
Plainview:
Did you hear what I said?
H.M. Tilford:
I heard what you said, why did you say it?
Plainview:
You don't tell me about my son.
H.M. Tilford:
Why are you acting insane and threatening to cut my throat?
Plainview:
You don't tell me about my son.
H.M. Tilford:
I'm not telling you anything! I'm asking you to be reasonable, if I've offended you I apologize.
Plainview:
[leans towards him] You'll see what I can do.
[last lines]
Jim Lovell:
[narrating] Our mission was called "a successful failure," in that we returned safely but never made it to the Moon. In the following months, it was determined that a damaged coil built inside the oxygen tank sparked during our cryo stir and caused the explosion that crippled the Odyssey. It was a minor defect that occured two years before I was even named the flight's commander. Fred Haise was going back to the moon on Apollo 18, but his mission was cancelled because of budget cuts; he never flew in space again. Nor did Jack Swigert, who left the astronaut corps and was elected to Congress from the state of Colorado. But he died of cancer before he was able to take office. Ken Mattingly orbited the moon as Command Module Pilot of Apollo 16, and flew the Space Shuttle, having never gotten the measles. Gene Kranz retired as Director of Flight Operations just not long ago. And many other members of Mission Control have gone on to other things, but some are still there. As for me, the seven extraordinary days of Apollo 13 were my last in space. I watched other men walk on the Moon, and return safely, all from the confines of Mission Control and our house in Houston. I sometimes catch myself looking up at the Moon, remembering the changes of fortune in our long voyage, thinking of the thousands of people who worked to bring the three of us home. I look up at the Moon and wonder, when will we be going back, and who will that be?
Plainview:
[Daniel has covered his face with a napkin] So Standard offered us a million dollars for the Little Boston leases, and I told H. M. Tilford where he could shove that, and we made a deal with Union! On the pipeline! And that whole ocean of oil underneath our fields!
H.M. Tilford:
[to his tablemates] ... 150,000 dollars...
Man:
We needed the money to drill.
Man:
I go out to meet him. He's getting oil on the property. We're trying to make a claim on it. Offered him a million dollars. Turned us down flat.
Plainview:
[growing frustrated] All right. [stands up, walks over and leans in to Tilford's face]
Plainview:
I want you to look over there. [points towards H.W]
H.M. Tilford:
Daniel, let me introduce you...
Plainview:
Look over there, you see. That's my son. You see him? You SEE?
H.M. Tilford:
I see him.
Plainview:
You don't tell me how to raise my family. I told you not to tell me how to raise my family. So, what do you see?
H.M. Tilford:
I'm very happy for you that...
Plainview:
Yes, I've made a deal with Union and my son is happy and safe.
H.M. Tilford:
Congratulations. Excellent...
Plainview:
I'm taking care of him now, so... You look like a fool, don't you Tilford?
H.M. Tilford:
[long pause] Yes.
Plainview:
Y-y-y-yes, you do.
H.M. Tilford:
[embarrassed] Excuse me gentlemen...
Plainview:
Oh, excuse me gentlemen. Excuse him, gentlemen. [to Tilford]
Plainview:
I told you what I was gonna do. [drinks Tilford's whiskey]
Marva Munson:
Now I want to know what's goin' on.
Professor G.H. Dorr:
Oh, indeed, indeed. The thirst for knowledge is a very commendable thing. Though I do believe that when you hear the explanation you shall laugh riotously, slappin' your knee and perhaps even wipin' away a giddy tear, relieved of your former concern. Lump here is an avid collector of Indian arrowheads, and having found one simply lying on your cellar floor - a particularly rare artifact of the Natchez tribe?
Lump Hudson:
Nats... what?
Professor G.H. Dorr:
He enlisted the entire ensemble in an all-out effort to sift through the subsoil in search of others. And apparently, in doing so, we hit a mother lode of natural gas. I myself became acutely aware of the smell of "rotten eggs." And it was just at this inopportune moment that the General here violated the cardinal rule of this house and lit himself a cigarette.
The General:
So sorry.
Marva Munson:
Well, what about all that money?
Professor G.H. Dorr:
Ah. The money. Well, the money is Mr. Pancake's.
Garth Pancake:
That's right.
Professor G.H. Dorr:
Who only just remortgaged his home in order to raise the money for a surgical procedure that will correct the wandering eye of his common-law wife, Mountain Water, who suffers from astigmia, strabismus and a general curdling of the vitreous jelly. Mr. Pancake is an ardent foe of the Federal Reserve, and is, in fact, one of those eccentrics one often reads about hoardin' his entire life savings, in Mr. Pancake's case, in a Hefty bag that is his constant companion. The Steel Sak.
Garth Pancake:
Don't trust the banks. Never have.
Eli Sunday:
How is all the work coming?
Plainview:
Everything's good.
Eli Sunday:
All the men are provided for?
Plainview:
Of course.
Eli Sunday:
Spirit's seem high. Is there... anything that you need from me? Anything the church can do for you?
Plainview:
I don't believe so, no. Thank you.
Eli Sunday:
I understand you've asked the people to gather round and watch the well begin tomorrow, is that right?
Plainview:
That's right.
Eli Sunday:
I will bless the well. Before you begin, you should introduce me. You'll see me walk up towards the oil well, and...
Plainview:
The derrick.
Eli Sunday:
-You'll see me walk up, and then you can say my name.
Plainview:
When you walk up?
Eli Sunday:
Yes. You'll see me walk up, and then you could say "The proud son of these hills, who tended his father's flock", and then you could say my name.
Plainview:
That's fine.
Eli Sunday:
And what happens then?
Plainview:
Well, then we start the drill.
Eli Sunday:
It's a simple blessing, Daniel, but an important one. It's just a few words, it won't take long. What time?
Plainview:
What time's good for you, Eli?
Eli Sunday:
Four o'clock.
Plainview:
Well, let's make it four o'clock then. My thanks for your visit.
Eli Sunday:
Good day. Thank you.
Captain Ahab:
Why the long face, Mr. Starbuck? Have you no game for Moby-Dick?
Starbuck:
Aye, I have game for his crooked jaw. I have game for the jaws of death, if that's part of the business we came for. Sir, I am here to hunt whale, not my commander's vengeance. How many barrels of oil will your vengeance yeild, I ask you?
Captain Ahab:
If money be the measure of everything we do, let me tell ye my vengeance will fetch a great premium here!
Starbuck:
What do you wish of me, Captain Ahab?
Captain Ahab:
Help me to strike a fin. Surely no impossible task for you, the best lancer of all Nantucket. Surely you, of all this crew, will not hold back.
Bubba:
Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it.
Ron White:
So I flew in here to Phoenix from Flagstaff because my manager doesn't own a globe. He chartered one of those small private jets. I flew here on a plane this big, it was like a pack of gum with eight people in it.We were putzing along. We were going half the speed of *smell!* We got passed by a kite! There was a goose behind us and the pilot was yelling "Go around!" So about halfway through the trip, we start losing oil pressure in one of the engines, and the pilot says we have to turn around. It was a nine minute flight. Couldn't make it with that equipment. He came over the intercom and said "Hey, we're losing oil pressure in one of the engines," which I couldn't understand why he did, because he could have just turned around and said, "Hey, we're losing oil pressure." *"heard'ja"* Everyone else started freaking out, but I had been drinking since lunchtime, so I was like "Take it down! I don't care! Make sure y you hit something hard, 'cause I don't want to limp away from this!" The guy next to me is *losing his mind*. I guess he must have had something to "live for". He says, "Hey man, if one of the engines goes out, how far will the other one take us?" I look at him. "All the way to the scene of the crash! Which is pretty lucky, because that's where we're headed! I bet we beat the paramedics by a good half hour! We're haulin' ass!"
