Quotes and Sayings about news

News Topics

Ray:
[of her mother] Do you see her anywhere? News flash: you're not gonna. Not unless you schedule an appointment, or hang around her bedroom door at 3 in the morning. In the meantime you're working for me.
Molly Gunn:
Is that so?
Ray:
Uh-huh.
Molly Gunn:
News flash, Mussolini: I quit! [slams the door, stops to watch as it swings back into the kitchen again... ]
Ray:
Swinging door. [swinging door hits Molly in the face]

Nicky:
The good news is, my dick is now a popsicle!

Tags: News Quotes

Juliet:
How art thou out of breath when thou hast breath to say to me that thou art out of breath? Is the news good or bad, answer to that.

Tags: Art Quotes News Quotes

Duke Henry:
You Sir, are not one of my vassals... who are you?
Ash:
Who wants to know?
Duke Henry:
I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples.
Ash:
Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and shit... and Jack left town.

Tags: News Quotes Right Quotes

[Roy and Helen Knable are cartoon mice]
Roy Knable:
For a mouse, you, um, look pretty sexy.
Helen Knable:
Too bad you didn't like the way I looked when I was human.
Roy Knable:
I always did.
Helen Knable:
News to me.

Tags: News Quotes Pretty Quotes

Gandalf:
[to Pippin] Now, listen carefully. Lord Denethor is Boromir's father. To give him news of his beloved son's death would be most unwise. And do not mention Frodo, or the Ring. And say nothing of Aragorn either. In fact, it's better if you don't speak at all, Peregrin Took.

Tags: Death Quotes News Quotes

Charlie Mackenzie:
Hey Mom, I find it interesting that you refer to the Weekly World News as, "The paper." The paper contains facts.
May Mackenzie:
This paper contains facts. And this paper has the eighth highest circulation in the whole wide world. Right? Plenty of facts. "Pregnant man gives birth." That's a fact.

Tags: Man Quotes News Quotes World Quotes

Veronica Corningstone:
For the entire Channel 4 news team, I'm Veronica Corningstone.
Ron Burgundy:
And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego.

Tags: News Quotes

Bimbo:
Got a bit of bad news today. Knocked me back a bit. I was let go.
Larry:
What?
Bimbo:
Made redundant.

Tags: News Quotes

News Reporter:
Once again, a UFO has landed in America, the only country UFOs ever seem to land in.

Tags: Land Quotes Country Quotes News Quotes

Ron Burgundy:
[the news team is in the bear pit, fighting] Hit 'em in the uvula!

Tags: News Quotes

Public TV News Anchor:
Well, it looks like we got ourselves a bi-lingual bloodfest.

Tags: News Quotes

Judge Turpin:
I have news for you, my friend. In order to shield her from the evils of this world, I have decided to marry my dear Johanna.
Beadle:
Ah, sir, happy news indeed.
Judge Turpin:
Strange, though, when I offered myself to her, she showed a certain reluctance.
Beadle:
[sings] Excuse me, my lord. / May I request, my lord, / Permission, my lord, to speak? / Forgive me if I suggest, my lord, / You're looking less than your best, my lord, / There's powder upon your vest, my lord, / And stubble upon your cheek. / And ladies, my lord, are weak.
Judge Turpin:
Stubble, you say? Perhaps I am a little overhasty in the morning.
Beadle:
[sings] Fret not though, my lord, / I know a place, my lord, / A barber, my lord, of skill. / Thus armed with a shaven face, my lord, / Some eau de cologne to brace my lord / And musk to enhance the chase, my lord, / You'll dazzle the girl until...
Judge Turpin:
Until?
Beadle:
[sings] She bows to your every will.

Tags: Race Quotes Self Quotes News Quotes Order Quotes Us Quotes

They put it like that?' said Glenda, wide-eyed.

Oh, you know the sort of thing if you read the papers a lot,' said Ponder. 'I seriously think they think that it is their job to calm people down by first of all explaining why they should be overexcited and very worried.

Tags: newspapers

Chuck Cedar:
That guy will have a million dollars and that photo will be all over the news in less than an hour
Longfellow Deeds:
He deserved it with the James Bond moves he just pulled.
Chuck Cedar:
He deserves to have his throat cut, filthy spy.

Tags: Will Quotes News Quotes

David 'Dave' Veltri:
Little news flash, Pop. Ha. Harold ain't so perfect. Remember that time in Puerto Rico when we picked up those two, uh... well, I guess they were prostitutes, but I don't remember paying.

Tags: News Quotes Time Quotes

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

Tags: newspapers

Derrick:
[answering professor] Gossip and news *are* the same thing, they've always been the same thing. People tell stories, that's what makes us human.
Professor Goodwin:
Come on Webb, connect the dots. Be clear...
Derrick:
People pass a bunch of stories around in a tribe and finally someone writes 'em down, and you have religion.

Tags: People Quotes People Quotes Gossip Quotes News Quotes Us Quotes

[watching the news, Squid watches as a news crew is blown up]
Squid:
[laughing] I'll bet that hurt!

Tags: News Quotes

Edwin S. Simon, NBS News Anchor:
Like maple syrup, Canada's evil oozes over the United States.

Tags: Evil Quotes News Quotes

Edwin S. Simon, NBS News Anchor:
Think of your children pledging allegiance to the maple leaf. Mayonnaise on everything. Winter 11 months of the year. Anne Murray - all day, every day.

Tags: Children Quotes Children Quotes News Quotes

Snickers:
Guys, we got some good news and some bad news.
Almond Joy:
The good news is, you'll be completely un-paralyzed in about two minutes.
Snickers:
The bad news is, that only leaves you five seconds to defuse the bombs.
Hudson Hawk, Tommy Five-Tone:
"Bombs"? [Snickers fires a time bomb at the wall, it starts counting down from 2:05. He and Almond Joy laugh]
Snickers:
I'm so glad it had to end like this. I'll just shoot one in the kitchen for good measure...

Tags: Joy Quotes News Quotes Time Quotes

If you don't hit a newspaper reader between the eyes with your first sentence, there is no need of writing a second one.

Tags: hearst journalism newspaper

I think the Cincinnati Enquirer must be edited by children.

Tags: cincinnati enquirer newspapers twain

Alma Moore:
[watching news report about the toxin] It makes you kill yourself. Just when you thought there couldn't be any more evil that can be invented.

Tags: Evil Quotes News Quotes Thought Quotes

Anthony 'Swoff' Swofford:
[shouting at news van leaving] Come back soon, now you hear!

Tags: News Quotes

It is difficult to get the news from poems, yet men die miserably every day for lack of what is found there.

Tags: death news poetry

Edgar:
Where do you keep your dead?
Manny the News Vendor:
[thinks] I don't have any dead.
Edgar:
Where?
Manny the News Vendor:
I don't know, the city morgue!

Tags: News Quotes

[Ruth is the on phone after seeing a news report about her]
Ruth:
You wanna send a message? I ain't no fucking telegram, bitch! [pause]
Ruth:
Nothing's wrong! I'm fine now. You think I'm a fool. You're the fool, cause guess what? This is a war and Diane's a spy. How bout that? [pause]
Ruth:
Now you're catching on! [pause]
Ruth:
Oh yeah! Well you're a cunt!

Tags: News Quotes

Larry The Cable Guy:
This doctor says to this feller, "i got bad news and worse news." He says, "ohhh, whats the bad news?" the doctor says, "you've got 24 hours left to live." Then he says, "whats the worse news?" the doctor says, "i forgot to call you yesterday."

Tags: News Quotes

. . . the newspapers of Utopia, he had long ago decided, would be terribly dull.

Tags: news psychology

David Hamilton:
Alright, so you're sure that they're good?
Wendell Hamilton:
Positive. On a road trip? It's gonna be two or three weeks until anyone notices.
David Hamilton:
Healthy?
Wendell Hamilton:
Oh yeah. I took one for a test drive.
David Hamilton:
Quit acting up, okay? I don't want their faces to be showing up on the ten o'clock news like last time. This could stain us for a while.
Wendell Hamilton:
Trust me.
David Hamilton:
Alright. Let's get to work.

Tags: Acting Quotes Heir Quotes News Quotes Road Quotes Trust Quotes

News Reporter:
I'm standing here on Nostrand Avenue in Crown Heights, where the scene behind me can only be described as unconscionable carnage...

Tags: Bed Quotes News Quotes

BTN News Poppet:
Now, this is only an initial report, but at this time, it's believed that during this heroic raid, the terrorist was shot and killed.
Little Glasses Girl:
Bollocks.

Tags: News Quotes

News Stand Vendor:
[on the phone] Why should I buy you flowers? I didn't do anything wrong... I'm all about the romance!

Tags: News Quotes

Chloe:
News spreads fast.
Chainsaw:
Well not as fast as you do.

Tags: News Quotes

Despite the variety and the differences, and however much we proclaim the contrary, what the media produce is neither spontaneous nor completely

Tags: fabrications lies media news reality

Deke, Channel 4 News Director:
Have you ever heard more bullshit or drivel coming from somebody who is not even the president?

Tags: Body Quotes News Quotes

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.

Tags: humor media news

Stephen Colbert: I've swallowed 18 condoms full of truth and I'm headed across the border!

Tags: Comedy News Talk-Show

Stone Phillips: We invited Mother Teresa to respond to these charges.

Tags: Comedy News Talk-Show

Bill: I don't know why you're complaining about the cold. You're a Weather Forcaster, you know what the weather's going to be like. You should wear a bigger coat!

Tags: Family News Talk-Show

Carol Kirkwood: If you've got your knitting needles, Bill, I'd like a hat to go with it!

Tags: Family News Talk-Show

Stephen Colbert: You know what you can't outsource, Fareed? You can't outsource balls. America is the world leader in balls.

Tags: Comedy News Talk-Show

Stephen Colbert: Like any good newsman, I believe that if you're not scared, I'm not doing my job.

Tags: Comedy News Talk-Show

Stephen Colbert: You know, I've been running this show, four nights a week, for... five nights now...

Tags: Comedy News Talk-Show

Himself - Moderator: If it's Sunday, it's "Meet the Press."

Tags: News Talk-Show

Dave Masterson: And? What's the situation Veronica?

Tags: Comedy News

Veronica Sims: I don't know.

Tags: Comedy News

Dave Masterson: You don't know?

Tags: Comedy News

Veronica Sims: Nope, they won't let me in. I think its something pretty important, I mean everyone is in there, NBC, ABC, CNN... oh look even Fox news...

Tags: Comedy News

Dave Masterson: Did you try everything?

Tags: Comedy News

Veronica Sims: Yea Dave.

Tags: Comedy News

Kermit the Frog: If you lick a frog, you were crazy to start with.

Tags: Comedy News Talk-Show

Jon Stewart: [to audience] I can't believe it, the frog's running circles around me, this is terrible.

Tags: Comedy News Talk-Show

Jon Stewart: See, I only make fun of people who I know would never come on the show.

Tags: Comedy News Talk-Show

Fareed Zakaria: You've really got balls on your mind tonight.

Tags: Comedy News Talk-Show

Herself - Panelist: Good evening, I'm Fox News anchor and bondage and discipline enthusiast Patti Ann Browne. On last week's Red Eye, I prefaced an awesome point I was making by saying, "you down with PAB?" At which point Greg Gutfeld replied, "yeah, you know me." Well, first of all, I'll tell you who's down with PAB: every last homie. Secondly, the question was rhetorical, and Fox News regrets the fact that Red Eye's host had shit for brains.

Tags: Comedy News Talk-Show

Jon Stewart: Isn't it how if you lick a frog, you start to get crazy thoughts?

Tags: Comedy News Talk-Show

Jon Stewart: Guy with chin-stud and... top-of-nose thing, I think I'll miss you most of all

Tags: Comedy News Talk-Show

News Topics

« 1 2 3 4 »

Free facebook fans, followers, likes - SocialBirth.com

Quotes of the Day

Warning: mysql_query() [function.mysql-query]: Unable to save result set in /home/quotesby/public_html/right_column.php on line 117

Warning: mysql_fetch_array(): supplied argument is not a valid MySQL result resource in /home/quotesby/public_html/right_column.php on line 119

Warning: include(/home/quotesby/public_html/cache/right_column_users.html) [function.include]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/quotesby/public_html/right_column.php on line 303

Warning: include() [function.include]: Failed opening '/home/quotesby/public_html/cache/right_column_users.html' for inclusion (include_path='.:/usr/share/php5:/usr/share/php:/home/famous12/public_html/incld') in /home/quotesby/public_html/right_column.php on line 303