Harper Pitt: I don't understand this. If I didn't ever see you before, and I don't think I did, then I don't think you should be here in this hallucination because in my experience the mind which is where hallucinations come from shouldn't be able to make anything up that wasn't there to start with that didn't enter it from experience from the real world. Imagination can't create anything new can it? It only recycles bits and pieces from the world and reassembles them into visions. Am I making sense right now? Prior Walter: Given the circumstances, yes. Harper Pitt: So when we think we've escaped the unbearable ordinariness and, well, untruthfulness of our lives it's really only the same old ordinariness and falseness rearranged into the appearance of novelty and truth. Nothing unknown is knowable.
Arthur Collins: For your homework assignment... you shall devise a feasible plan to assassinate the President of the United States of America. Be creative. Cite your sources. But avoid doing it during class. Political assassinations are not grounds for absence without a note.
George W. Bush: I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. [George W. Bush brandishes a golf club] George W. Bush: Now, watch this drive.
Don Cheadle: [on the genocide in Darfur] I think that our government has to take some responsibility, too, in the fact that, right now, one of the main impediments to the process is the international criminal court, and that America is very reticent to allow any American citizen to come under that adjudication, which - okay, fine, come up with a secondary system. Which can be done. It was done in Rwanda. It can be done very quickly. It just - there's just no more time to be talking about it and be arguing about it. If nations really are about building democracy and growing and spreading the message of freedom then start there and start now.
Ernesto Guevara de la Serna: Even though we are too insignificant to be spokesmen for such a noble cause, we believe, and this journey has only confirmed this belief, that the division of American into unstable and illusory nations is a complete fiction. We are one single mestizo race from Mexico to the Magellan Straits. And so, in an attempt to free ourselves from narrow minded provincialism, I propose a toast to Peru and to a united America.
Robert McNamara: What makes us omniscient? Have we a record of omniscience? We are the strongest nation in the world today. I do not believe we should ever apply that economic, political, or military power unilaterally. If we had followed that rule in Vietnam, we wouldn't have been there! None of our allies supported us; not Japan, not Germany, not Britain or France. If we can't persuade nations with comparable values of the merit of our cause, we'd better reexamine our reasoning.
Jo McGuire: Honey, just yesterday you were in diapers-now you've graduated junior high, and you're growing up, going to Rome for two weeks all by yourself. Without me. Without me there. Without me with you. You there without me. Lizzie McGuire: That's just about all the combinations of those words you can make, Mom.
Anna Leonowens: In my letter confirming my employment, Your Majesty, you claimed you wanted Siam to take its place among the nations of the modern world. You spoke of building something greater than yourself. A country where no man is above the law. Which is why I chose to come here.
Les Grossman: First, take a big step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down in a Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking about a scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!
Satine: Harold, the poor Duke is being treated appallingly. These silly writers let their imaginations run away with them. [to the Duke] Satine: Now why don't you and I have a little supper. And then afterwards, we can let Monsieur Zidler know how we would prefer the story to end.
Eleanor Shaw: I will do whatever is necessary to protect America from anyone who opposes her. I can't... am I the only person in this room who's been reading these NSA reports? Congressman Healy: I've read them. Eleanor Shaw: All right, then. You know... you know we are on the brink of another cataclysm, probably nuclear, on our own soil. Congresswoman Becket: Oh, Ellie, that's a bit extreme. Eleanor Shaw: And it's not from random terrorists, but from covert alliances of disaffected nations who've all been made bold by this kind of Jordan one-worlder who believes that human beings are essentially good and that our powers are somehow, I don't know, shameful or evil and never to be used. Make no mistake. The American people are terrified. They know something's coming. They can feel it. And we can either shovel them the same old shit and call it sugar or we can arm them. We can arm them with a young, vibrant Vice President. We can give them heat, energy! Give them a war hero with heart, forged by enemy fire in the desert in the dark when American lives hung on the balance!
Harper: You mean like no Eskimo in Antarctica. Mr. Lies: Correcto. Ice and snow, no Eskimo. Even hallucinations have laws. Harper: Well then who's that? Mr. Lies: [surprised] An Eskimo.
Van Wilder: If Milty Mingleton can shove himself into that weenie bikini, then you don't need to be shy about making your donations to the swim team.
CIA Operative: Let me ask you a question. why would you think the CIA would want to let a war criminal go? Simon: Let me ask you a question. In five years, why has the CIA, the Hague, the United Nations and NATO not been able to find a guy that we found in just two days, if you actually wanted to find him?
Mackenzie Allen: I'm going to go out there, and I'm going to take the oath of office. I'm going to run this government... and if some Islamic nations can't tolerate a female president, then I promise you... it will be more their problem than mine!
[trying to get to one of Simon's destinations on time] Zeus: I told you the Park Drive is always jammed. John McClane: I didn't say "Park Drive." [McClane turns the cab and drives through the park] John McClane: I said "through the park."
Host: Now, you may have some questions concerning the validity and integrity of the organization. Well, no less than the Internal Revenue Service of the United States government conducted a review of Scientology. The most thorough investigation of any church in its history. Over a period of many years, they examined millions of pages of church documents, and financial records. They studied every aspect of the religion, and its corporate and ecclesiastical structure. And their findings? The IRS determined that Scientology *is* a bona fide religion. That the churches of Scientology, and their related social betterment organizations, operate *exclusively* for religious, charitable, and educational purposes. That they benefit the *public*, rather than the interests of private individuals. And that no part of their income goes to the benefit of any individual or noncharitable entity. It is likely that Scientology was scrutinized more deeply than any other church in history. And it passed that review with flying colors, gaining full religious and charitable recognition. In doing so, the IRS granted the church, and all its affiliated organizations, full tax exemption. In fact, you'll be happy to know, even your donations are tax deductible. Just like every religion. Now that you know the factual and legal standing of the church, you may well ask the question, "What are the advantages of Dianetics and Scientology for me?" So, let's ask some people.
Well-to-do People: Thus all fairy stories end. Only an actress would pretend. Affairs of state are her latest play, eight shows a week, two matinees. My, how the worm begins to turn. When will the chorus girl ever learn? My, how the worm begins to turn. When will the chorus girl ever learn? Eva Perón: The chorus girl hasn't learned the lines you'd like to hear. She won't go scrambling over the backs of the poor to be accepted by making donations just large enough to the correct charity. She won't be president of your wonderful societies of philanthropy. Even if you asked her to be - as you should have asked her to be.
Lindsay Funke: Hey, I could've sworn I just saw Dad... Or not. I think hallucinations are a side effect of Teamocil. Narrator: They aren't.
Neon Edge: Of all the abominations on this cursed earth, you're the most cowardly!
Tour Guide: While there are now one hundred and ninety one nations represented, one hundred and forty more than there were in nineteen forty five, you'll only be required to learn the word "peace" in the six languages spoken on the General Assembly floor.
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