[Richard struggles to assemble a ship in a bottle while his motivational tape plays in the background] Motivational Speaker: Have you ever seen an eagle blow his top? Do your best to keep your cool. Richard: Stay loose... [the ship tips over when Richard places his tweezers near it] Richard: Fuck! Motivational Speaker: Every life has its frustrations, but be careful not to let them get the best of you in front of your family. Instead of curses, find a more family-friendly way to express life's frustrations. [Richard drops his tweezers inside the bottle, causing him to get up in anger] Richard: Fuck you! Ship fuck! Asshole ship! Seven seas fucker! Jolly fucker! Lori Wehlner: For Christ's sake... Richard: No one can do that! It's impossible! Not even a guy with tiny hands! Not even a guy with a child's hands! Fuck that!
[During the motivational retreat, the employees form a circle around the retreat leader. They are instructed to place paper bags over their heads] Retreat Leader: I want you to take off one thing that you don't need... quickly! Come on. [Everyone takes off their paper bags, except Richard, who removes his watch. They all stare at Richard, who still has his paper bag over his head] Retreat Leader: Let's take something else off that you really don't need... right away! [Richard takes off his shoes as some of the employees begin to laugh] Retreat Leader: Something else you don't need, let's make it happen. Come on! [Richard removes his belt while the employees continue to laugh] Retreat Leader: Something else you don't need. Come on, let's go. Something completely unnecessary. [Richard turns to his right] Richard: Doug, can we take our sack off? Doug Stauber: What? [Everyone bursts in laughter] Richard: Did you take your sack off? Doug Stauber: I can't really hear you. Retreat Leader: If you could take off one more thing you simply do not need. Do it! Richard: [whispers] Fuck! [Richard removes his shirt, revealing a tattoo of the band KISS on his chest, to the delight of everyone else] Retreat Leader: Okay, uhhh... all right, everybody that still has a bag on top of their heads, scream, 'My concentration skills need improvement.' One, two, three. Richard: My concentration skills need improvement! [Everyone bursts into laughter]
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