Captain Hook:
You, the cute little urchin in the front row, won't you share your thoughts with the whole class?
Maggie:
Yes, I said mommy reads to us every night, because she loves us very much.
Captain Hook:
Loves you? Isn't that the, uh, the...
Smee:
The L word, Captain.
Captain Hook:
Ooh, yes. No, child, I mother wants to read to you every night in order to stupefy to sleep, so that she and daddy could sit down for three measly minutes without you. And you mindless, inexhaustible, unstoppable, repetitive, and nagging demands: He took my toy! She hit my bear! I want a potty! I want a cookie! I want to stay up! I want, I want, I want, me, me, me, me, mine, mine, mine, mine, now, now, now! [inhales deeply]
Captain Hook:
Can't you understand, child? They tell you stories to shut you up.
Smee:
And conk you out.
Maggie:
That's not true, Jack! [to Hook]
Maggie:
You're a liar!
Captain Hook:
[laughs] Lie? Me? Never. [inhales deeply again]
Captain Hook:
The truth is far too much fun.
Firefighter:
What's your name?
Lance:
Uh, Joe... John... uh, Joe-John.
Firefighter:
Your name's Joe-John?
Lance:
John-ston, Johnston. Joe.
Firefighter:
You wanna tell me what happened here?
Lance:
Uh, there was a fire, I dunno, I came by and it's... checkin out the fire.
Firefighter:
Well that lady uh, Mona? She said that you two were in the building together when the fire started.
Lance:
Yeah, she's a liar, cuz I dunno her so whatever, whatever she says is a lie, so...
Firefighter:
K, so you're saying you weren't in the building with that woman?
Lance:
No, not I! Aright, she started it, aright? Because she was like "I hate my job, I'm gonna burn this mother down!" And I said "You better not... you better not!"
Firefighter:
She said it was an electrical fire.
Lance:
It was. It was a total electrical fire, it was like uh, the switches had sparks comin out, and the sockets, and uh it was like the 4th of July, man!
Firefighter:
Why aren't you wearing your pants, Joe?
Lance:
I tripped, and uh then I had to take 'em off to run faster out of the flames... [coughing]
Lance:
I think I inhaled some smoke, will you excuse me one second, I'll be right back. [runs away in the background]
Firefighter:
[into walkie talkie] We got a sprinter. Five foot five, no pants, unkempt... portly.
Jane:
I don't jump from job to job because of money.
Ally:
[struggling with the camera] Wait, I want to get this.... What is wrong with this thing?...
Jane:
You guys seem to feel the world owes you, that you deserve happiness. My dad worked for twenty-six years in a job he hated, and at fifty, he was laid off, two week's pay and a thank you very much -
Ally:
Wait, Jane!
Jane:
And where did that leave us? A miserable man who became even more bitter, a mother who had to take care of other people's children, and me, knowing that you can never trust any job - will you hand me the sugar? [Georgia does, with a little SLAM]
Jane:
... Any employer, anyone but yourself.
Ally:
[Ally finally gets the camera to film normally again] Shoot... Now say that all again.
Titus:
Oh villains, Chiron and Demetrius. Here stands the spring whom you have stained with mud, this goodly summer with your winter mixed. You killed her husband, and for that vile fault two of her brothers were condemned to death, my hand cut off and made a merry jest, both her sweet hands, her tongue, and that more dear than hands or tongue, her spotless chastity, inhuman traitors, you constrained and forced. What would you say if I should let you speak? Villains, for shame, you could not beg for grace. Hark, wretches, how I mean to martyr you. This one hand yet is left to cut your throats whilst that Lavinia, 'tween her stumps doth hold the basin that receives your guilty blood. You know, your mother means to feast with me and calls herself Revenge and thinks me mad. Hark, villains. I shall grind your bones to dust, and with your blood and it I shall make a paste, and of the paste a coffin I will rear and make two pastries of your shameful heads. And bid that strumpet, your unhallowed dam, like to the earth, swallow her own increase! This is the feast I have bid her to, and this the banquet she shall surfeit on... And now prepare your throats.
Brodie:
You have my Punisher War Journal #6, my copy of "Fletch" and the remote control to my TV. Now, I know it's going to be hard to give this stuff up because of it's sentimental attachment...
Rene:
Sentimental attachment? Look, if I have any of that crap it's because you brought it over my house and left it there.
Brodie:
Okay, then let's talk about coming up with a schedule for visitation rights.
Rene:
For what?
Brodie:
For the mall. I figure you can take the odd days, I'll take the even days and weekends. When there's any special feature like a sidewalk sale...
Rene:
[interrupting] Brodie, Brodie...
Brodie:
...or a boat show...
Rene:
[interrupting] Brodie! I've always taken you with a grain of salt. On your birthday, when you told me to do a striptease to the theme of "Mighty Mouse", I said okay. On prom night at the hotel when you told me to sleep under the bed in case your mother burst in, I did it. And even during my grandmother's funeral when you told my relatives that you could see her nipples through her burial dress, I let that slide.
Rene:
[Grabs Brodie by the ear] But if you think I'm gonna suffer any of your shit with a smile now that we're broken up, you're in for some serious fucking disappointment!
Merle Hammond:
[Gwen has stolen Hammond's car from his country club, after forcing him into the trunk at gunpoint] ... You know, if you wanted to drive my car, you could have just asked... [She waves a revolver in his face]
Merle Hammond:
... Do you even know how to use that thing?
Gwen Saticoy:
My boyfriend's a cop. What do you think? [She forces him into a cage, in the back of her Range-Rover]
Merle Hammond:
...Is this about money? Ransom? Extortion? The usual motives for kidnapping?
Gwen Saticoy:
Well, I never considered that option before. But now that you mention it, do you know anyone who'd actually pay to get you back?
Merle Hammond:
All right, then... Is this about revenge?
Gwen Saticoy:
No, it is not about revenge or punishment... although, for what you put my mother through on the stand, I should rip your tongue out!... If this is about anything, it's finding out what makes you tick.
Merle Hammond:
If that's all there is to it, I can tell you everything over a bottle of brandy. I seldom do my best work in a dog kennel.
Gwen Saticoy:
No, I'm sure you do your best work in a litter box.
Wonder Woman:
It's all true, isn't it, Steve? Everything my mother warned me about man's world is true. She even told me you'd try to seduce me, and I, like a fool, told her, "For now, let's only expect the best from the pilot." You tried to get me drunk. As if you could out drink an Amazon, you pathetic lightweight.
Col. Steve Trevor:
[Sees thugs approaching] Oh, crap.
Wonder Woman:
[Unaware of the thugs] Yes, I knew exactly what you were trying to do. And please don't use that language around me.
