Dr. Kate McTiernan:
Hello, I'm Kate McTiernan. First, I'd like to say something to the families who have a loved one missing. Please, do not give up hope. There are other women where I was held and I believe in my heart that they are still alive. Second, to the boys who fished me out of the river and saved my life, and to the nurses and doctors here who are taking such excellent care of me, and for the thousands of letters and prayers I've recieved from all across America, thank you. And last, to the man who calls himself Casanova. The man who took me from my own home and ultimately tried to kill me. I broke your rules, just me. None of the other women helped. So if you're looking for someone to blame, blame me. That's all I have to say right now. Thank you for taking my message to the families of the missing and I hope it helps a little bit. Thank you.
Kaffee:
Lieutenant, in your opinion was Private Santiago a good Marine?
Lt. Kendrick:
I would say he was about average.
Kaffee:
Lieutenant, you signed three Proficiency and Conduct reports on Santiago and in all three reports you indicate a rating of below average.
Lt. Kendrick:
Yes, Private Santiago was below average. I did not see the need to trample on a man's grave.
Kaffee:
Well, we appreciate that but you are under oath now and I think as unpleasant as it may be we'd all just as soon hear the truth.
Lt. Kendrick:
I am aware of my oath.
Kaffee:
Lieutenant, these are the last three Pro-Con reports you signed for Lance Corporal Dawson. Dawson received two marks of exceptional, however, on this most recent report dated June 9th of this year he received a rating of below average. It's this last report I'd like to discuss for a moment.
Lt. Kendrick:
That would be fine.
Kaffee:
Lance Corporal Dawson's ranking following the school of infantry was perfect. Records indicate that more than half that class has been promoted to full Corporal while Dawson has remained a Lance Corporal. Was Dawson's promotion held up because if this last report?
Lt. Kendrick:
I'm sure it was.
Kaffee:
Do you recall why Dawson was given such a poor grade on this last report?
Lt. Kendrick:
I'm sure I don't. I have many men in my charge, Lieutenant. I write many reports.
Kaffee:
Lieutenant, do you recall an incident involving a PFC Curtis Bell who had been found stealing liquor from the Officer's Club?
Lt. Kendrick:
Yes, I do.
Kaffee:
Did you report Private Bell to the proper authorities?
Lt. Kendrick:
I have two books at my bedside, Lieutenant, the Marine Corps Code of Conduct and the King James Bible. The only proper authorities I am aware of are my commanding officer Colonel Nathan R. Jessup and the Lord our God.
Kaffee:
At your request, Lieutenant, I can have the record reflect your lack of acknowledgment of this court as a proper authority.
Capt. Ross:
Objection. Argumentative.
Judge Randolph:
Sustained. Watch yourself, Counselor.
Kaffee:
Did you report Private Bell to your superiors?
Lt. Kendrick:
I remember thinking very highly of Private Bell, of not wanted to see his record tarnished by a formal charge.
Kaffee:
You preferred that it be handled withing the unit.
Lt. Kendrick:
Yes, I most certainly did.
Kaffee:
Lieutenant do you know what a Code Red is?
Lt. Kendrick:
Yes, I do.
D.L. Hughley:
Nobody love God like black folks. Black folks love us some God. Jesus was black. If Jesus was black, the apostles were black, 'cause wouldn't no 12 white men follow no brother. Not unless they was the police and Jesus had a warrant, huh? They ain't have to describe Jesus to me for me to know he was black. Jesus first miracle was turning water into wine at a wedding. Now, if that ain't black folk shit, I don't know what is. "Lord, we done run outta wine!" "Now normally, I don't do this, but, uh... go on head, keep the party goin."
Jane:
I mean, c'mon! I was comparing men to animals!... Which, let's face it, sometimes they are. But sometimes, they are not. Sometimes, you open the barn door, or the bedroom door, or the hospital room door, and you find the real thing. You find a guy that can sit with you when you're at your absolute worst, when your face looks like a punching bag and you're elbow deep in Kleenex, and he can still look at you, and tell you that Ray is not the last man you're ever going to love.
Newton:
A neuralize... [Agent J neuralizes Newton]
Agent J:
Ok. First, get some contact lenses, cause those jaunts look like they could pick up cable. Second, take her to Cambodia, get her a lobster dinner. Pay more than a dollar. Third, the second y'all get back from Cambodia, move your bum ass outta your mom's house. Boy, you like forty years old.
Kevin Brown/K:
Agent J?
Agent J:
Aight! Oh, and there ain't no such thing as aliens or Men in Black. [J leaves]
Newton, Hailey:
You wanna go to Cambodia?
Hailey:
Yeah.
Newton:
Hey, Mom? [Newton picks up a shovel]
Stavros:
You know Jack, I can call you Jack can't I? I bet there's not a single night, where you can close your eyes tight enough, without seeing my little boy's face. I'm gonna give you a chance to know your son. If you live today, you'll get to know your son. And if you don't, I'll raise him as my own. You know, men are strong Jack, but the tiger is stronger. Oh, one more thing Jack, there's nothing wrong with stepping on a mine, it's stepping off that counts.
Dr. Molly Griswold:
All you have to do is walk up to this, this woman, wherever she is, look her in the eye - look at me, Roy - just look her in the eyes, that's right, let down your guard, and don't try to be cool or smooth or whatever; just be honest and take a risk. And you know what, whatever happens, if you act from the heart, you can't make a mistake.
Roy 'Tin Cup' McAvoy:
Dr. Griswold...
Dr. Molly Griswold:
Yes?
Roy 'Tin Cup' McAvoy:
I think I'm in love with you.
Dr. Molly Griswold:
What?
Roy 'Tin Cup' McAvoy:
From the moment I first saw you, I knew I was through with bar girls and... strippers and motorcycle chicks, and... when we first started talking I was smitten with you, and I'm smitten with you more every day I think about you, and the fact that you know I'm full of crapola only makes you more attractive to me. Usually I can bullshit people, but I can't bullshit you, and in addition you got, you got great legs, and... most women I'm thinking about how to get in their pants from day one, but with you I'm just... I'm just thinking about how to get in your heart, and...