The Caller: [about Stu's wife, Kelly] You think she didn't know she was being watched. Stu: What? The Caller: But beautiful women always know. That false indifference, superior air. It's just a tease. They want eyes on them. Why does she put on her make up? Do her hair? Dress so nicely? Not for her husband which she hardly ever sees, no, it's for somebody else to notice... I notice.
[Simon and Targo have just learned that McClane killed two of their henchmen at the aqueduct] Mathias Targo: I told you not to toy with him! Simon: Thank you, that's very helpful.
Caroline: For Christmas my mom makes gingerbread men with little raisin nipples.
Steve Mobley: The days are like the women here - slippery and hard to stay on top of.
Tuskegee Airman #1: The Tuskegee Air Men are enjoying their freedom.
Kimberly Joyce: I have respect for all races, but I'm very glad that I was born white. As a woman, it's the best race to be. Especially if you want to become an actress, like I do. [pause] Kimberly Joyce: If I wasn't white, then the next thing I would wanna be is Asian because a lot of men like Asian girls because they think they're docile and subservient and sweet which I don't really think is true because I once met this Asian girl at summer camp one time and she was a real bitch. [pause] Kimberly Joyce: If I couldn't be white and I also couldn't be Asian, then my third choice would be African-American because I've always wanted to be a gospel singer and also, black men are more forgiving if your butt gets big. Except I'd definitely want light skin and Caucasian features like... Vanessa Williams or Halle Berry. And finally, you know, no offense or anything Randa, but my very last choice would be Arab. I mean, truth be told you're not in a very enviable position. There's a lot of resentment in this country toward the Middle East and there's a lot of stereotypes floating around which I don't think are true because in the short amount of time I've known you, you haven't tried to bomb anybody and you currently smell okay to me.
Carmen Ghia: [Leo and Max have just left Franz, wearing swastika armbands and arrive at Roger's penthouse, forgetting they're wearing them. Carmen greets them at the door] May I take your hat, your coat, and your swastikas?
Franz Liebkind: [while waving a gun around] You made a fool of Hitler! Carmen Ghia, Roger De Bris: [Carmen and Roger peer over the couch where they are hiding] He didn't need our help.
Natalya: Men know how to kill, women how to survive.
[Carmen is escaping after stealing a make-up case from an Egyptian museum] Zack: Ivy, she's on a motorcycle. What are we supposed to do with these? Ivy: They're bikes. You pedal.
Announcer: "Troops" is filmed on location with the men of the Imperial forces. All suspects are guilty. Period. Otherwise, they wouldn't be suspects, would they?
George Kuffs: I got women to do, places to see!
Chief in Command Smillie: Sir, those men have literally saved this planet. Federation President: Yes Bill, I know. And now they're going to save it again... by standing trial.
Lauren: ...until we women learn to stick together and stand up to the fact that yes, we are held to a different standard then we're never gonna get the biggest prize, whether it's VP or yes, President.
Freidoune: Why should I listen you, because you say, the voices of women no longer matter anyway in this country. Zahra: Hear my story first, you will know why you should listen.
Sloan: Why, you're as lovely as rain. Victoria Celestine: Rain is common in England. Sloan: Not in Arizona. Here is a rare and beautiful thing, a thing for which most men thirst. Victoria Celestine: Here I believed that to be whiskey.
Manny: It's a feud between the men in white and the men in black. Bobby: Like the Yankees and the Red Sox?
[Carmen is on the phone when her father is leaving] Young Carmen: Lena, I don't think he's coming back this time. Young Lena: It's gonna be OK, Carmen. I'll come over first thing tomorrow. And Tibby and Bridget, too. Just stay on the phone with me until you fall asleep.
Lucky Larry: You know, I forgot. Big hero. Rescued all those women and children from the fires. Got elected. Man of the people. But you're not the boss anymore. Hm? You quit. Couldn't hack it. If I recall correctly, you couldn't even hang onto your wife. Come on. Come on. [Robert begins to stand up] Jennifer Ramsey: Dad. Calm down. Let it go. Okay. Please? Lucky Larry: [mocking] "Daddy, please." Come on. Robert Ramsey: Hey, man. Hey, you got it. Knock yourself out. Dylan Johns: It's okay. Go ahead. Lucky Larry: [pointing to Robert and Dylan] Assholes, both of you.
President Andrew Shepherd: For the last couple of months, Senator Rumson has suggested that being president of this country was, to a certain extent, about character, and although I have not been willing to engage in his attacks on me, I've been here three years and three days, and I can tell you without hesitation: Being President of this country is entirely about character. For the record: yes, I am a card-carrying member of the ACLU. But the more important question is why aren't you, Bob? Now, this is an organization whose sole purpose is to defend the Bill of Rights, so it naturally begs the question: Why would a senator, his party's most powerful spokesman and a candidate for President, choose to reject upholding the Constitution? If you can answer that question, folks, then you're smarter than I am, because I didn't understand it until a few hours ago. America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country can't just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the "land of the free". I've known Bob Rumson for years, and I've been operating under the assumption that the reason Bob devotes so much time and energy to shouting at the rain was that he simply didn't get it. Well, I was wrong. Bob's problem isn't that he doesn't get it. Bob's problem is that he can't sell it! We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious people to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, I promise you, Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things and two things only: making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections. You gather a group of middle-aged, middle-class, middle-income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family and American values and character. And wave an old photo of the President's girlfriend and you scream about patriotism and you tell them, she's to blame for their lot in life, and you go on television and you call her a whore. Sydney Ellen Wade has done nothing to you, Bob. She has done nothing but put herself through school, represent the interests of public school teachers, and lobby for the safety of our natural resources. You want a character debate, Bob? You better stick with me, 'cause Sydney Ellen Wade is way out of your league. [pauses] President Andrew Shepherd: I've loved two women in my life. I lost one to cancer, and I lost the other 'cause I was so busy keeping my job I forgot to do my job. Well, that ends right now. Tomorrow morning, the White House is sending a bill to Congress for its consideration. It's White House Resolution 455, an energy bill requiring a 20 percent reduction of the emission of fossil fuels over the next ten years. It is by far the most aggressive stride ever taken in the fight to reverse the effects of global warming. The other piece of legislation is the crime bill. As of today, it no longer exists. I'm throwing it out. I'm throwing it out writing a law that makes sense. You cannot address crime prevention without getting rid of assault weapons and handguns. I consider them a threat to national security, and I will go door to door if I have to, but I'm gonna convince Americans that I'm right, and I'm gonna get the guns. We've got serious problems, and we need serious people, and if you want to talk about character, Bob, you'd better come at me with more than a burning flag and a membership card. If you want to talk about character and American values, fine. Just tell me where and when, and I'll show up. This is a time for serious people, Bob, and your fifteen minutes are up. My name is Andrew Shepherd, and I *am* the President.
Ike: Daniel! Daniel: Yes sir? Ike: We're gonna get those steers into Lusk and sold before Christmas Daniel: Yes sir. Ike: You won't leave town till we get top dollar, no exceptions. Daniel: Yes sir... Daniel: Mr. Franklin me and the boys was wondering, well sir, we wanted to know if you had decided to give us Christmas day off? Some of the men got family and I think they need that time... Ike: You'll get a day off when that cattle is sold. Christmas is just another working day. Daniel: Yes sir, stock comes fisrt.
Caroline Blaine: I only date men who are significantly less attractive than I am.
Alejandro Murrieta: [upon first meeting her] Be careful senorita, there are dangerous men about. Elena: Well if you see one, be sure to point him out.
Neal Schweiber: My mom says women prefer guys with a good sense of humor. Bill Haverchuck: But, uh, you're not funny. Neal Schweiber: Screw you, I'm hilarious!
Alotta Fagina: In Japan, men come first and women come second. Austin Powers: Or sometimes not at all.
Stanny: Oh, Yeah. I'm gonna write a book, It's called: Men are from mars and women are fucking morons!
[about the break-up letter from Renee] Brodie: Yeah, and she also said I had no dick. Which precedes the financial question, proving once more what women really look for.
Carmen Ghia: [answering the door at Roger's house] Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss? Max Bialystock: I... Carmen Ghia: ...sss!
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