Women are not inclined to go that way.
The Big Lebowski: Are you surprised at my tears, sir? The Dude: [Smoking a joint] Dude, fuckin' A! The Big Lebowski: Strong men also cry... strong men also cry.
citat bagat la alice in wonderland
Ronnie Shields: Damn, she got some boobies on her. Wheeler: You sure are a fan of the boobies, kid. Ronnie Shields: Oh yeah. Sometimes I call myself "The Booby Watcher". I even have my own comic book. "The Adventures of The Booby Watcher". Wheeler: Okay. You know, I have a theory about boobies. Ronnie Shields: Really? Wheeler: Oh yeah. You see, there are as many women as there are men in this world. Ronnie Shields: True dat, true dat. Wheeler: And every woman has two boobs, for the most part. So there are twice as many boobs as there are men. We're outnumbered and it's overwhelming. We're powerless, and we have to accept it. Ronnie Shields: I like yo' take on boobies. And I like boobies. Wheeler: Kid, you got a lot to learn. Ronnie Shields: I know what I'm doin'. Wheeler: Oh really? So you don't realize you've just committed one of the most common rookie boob-watching errors? Ronnie Shields: What you mean? Wheeler: Never stare at the boobies, kid. Once you get caught, the game's over. Ronnie Shields: But how? Wheeler: It's called training. You know, being aware without drawing attention. You don't think I've noticed those 34 C's in the camouflage tank top setting up a tent directly to the left of us? Or how about those twin cannons hiking up a mountain ridge 50 yards due west? Or the ridge itself? Round mounds of grass shaped like... Ronnie Shields: Boobies! Wheeler: Don't look over there. Look here. Focus... You'll get it.
Kaffee: Lieutenant, in your opinion was Private Santiago a good Marine? Lt. Kendrick: I would say he was about average. Kaffee: Lieutenant, you signed three Proficiency and Conduct reports on Santiago and in all three reports you indicate a rating of below average. Lt. Kendrick: Yes, Private Santiago was below average. I did not see the need to trample on a man's grave. Kaffee: Well, we appreciate that but you are under oath now and I think as unpleasant as it may be we'd all just as soon hear the truth. Lt. Kendrick: I am aware of my oath. Kaffee: Lieutenant, these are the last three Pro-Con reports you signed for Lance Corporal Dawson. Dawson received two marks of exceptional, however, on this most recent report dated June 9th of this year he received a rating of below average. It's this last report I'd like to discuss for a moment. Lt. Kendrick: That would be fine. Kaffee: Lance Corporal Dawson's ranking following the school of infantry was perfect. Records indicate that more than half that class has been promoted to full Corporal while Dawson has remained a Lance Corporal. Was Dawson's promotion held up because if this last report? Lt. Kendrick: I'm sure it was. Kaffee: Do you recall why Dawson was given such a poor grade on this last report? Lt. Kendrick: I'm sure I don't. I have many men in my charge, Lieutenant. I write many reports. Kaffee: Lieutenant, do you recall an incident involving a PFC Curtis Bell who had been found stealing liquor from the Officer's Club? Lt. Kendrick: Yes, I do. Kaffee: Did you report Private Bell to the proper authorities? Lt. Kendrick: I have two books at my bedside, Lieutenant, the Marine Corps Code of Conduct and the King James Bible. The only proper authorities I am aware of are my commanding officer Colonel Nathan R. Jessup and the Lord our God. Kaffee: At your request, Lieutenant, I can have the record reflect your lack of acknowledgment of this court as a proper authority. Capt. Ross: Objection. Argumentative. Judge Randolph: Sustained. Watch yourself, Counselor. Kaffee: Did you report Private Bell to your superiors? Lt. Kendrick: I remember thinking very highly of Private Bell, of not wanted to see his record tarnished by a formal charge. Kaffee: You preferred that it be handled withing the unit. Lt. Kendrick: Yes, I most certainly did. Kaffee: Lieutenant do you know what a Code Red is? Lt. Kendrick: Yes, I do.
Abigail Williams: A women comes to my bed every night now and tears out my eyes. Judge Danforth: Can you make out who she may be? Abigail Williams: I believe she be Reverend John Hale's wife sir. Judge Danforth: You must be mistaken my child. The wife of a minister be unlikely... Abigail Williams: Satan may reach anyone sir. Judge Sewall: Absolutely no one in the world is safe? Is that your meaning? Judge Danforth: You are mistaken child. Understand me?
Brad: You wouldn't have these problems if you would just follow my rules: 100. Friends don't let friends fuck ugly people 99. Try everything twice, the first time you might have been doing it wrong 98. Fat girls give the best head because they're always hungry 97. Cologne: overrated... Deodorant: a must 96. Blondes are usually too dumb to realize they're having more fun 95. After puberty, that's not "baby fat" 94. ATM = the Holy Grail 93. All hippie chicks deep throat, but few vegans swallow 92. Women like shoes. They will look at yours; purchase accordingly 91. BBBJ or why bother? 90. Women cannot parallel park 89. If you wanna fuck it, you've got to be willing to lick it. 88. Ass, stomach, legs, boobs - in that order 87. If it's not dirty, you're doing something wrong 86. If a friend's apartment is running low on toilet paper, you're required to use it all 85. Cheerleaders are overrated 84. Under no circumstance may two men share an umbrella 83. Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her 82. Other than in February, the 14th of every month is Pizza and Blowjob Night 81. Dogs are better than cats... period 80. Bigger is never better when they're fake 79. Don't leave the house until you're camera ready 78. A period does not equal a week off from sex 77. Mustaches and hunting = gay 76. Sucking your best friend's dick = priceless 75. You are not accountable if you bring ugly people home, unless you fuck them again in the morning 74. If her mom isn't a MILF, chances are she won't be one either 73. Fake orgasms count, as long as they're not yours 72. The G-spot does not exist 71. There is NOTHING sexy about pregnant women 70. Persistence gets you laid 69. Never give yourself a haircut while drunk 68. No panties = a good night 67. Drinks hard liquor = a great night 66. Tongue piercing = God loves you! 65. Saliva isn't always the best lubricant, just the most fun to apply 64. White cotton panties and knee socks. Enough said! 63. Never lend money to friends 62. Never lend books, CDs, or DVDs to anyone 61. The month you finish paying for your car, it will break down 60. Elvis is not dead 59. Lee Harvey Oswald did not act alone 58. What's good for you usually won't taste better. Example: processed peanut butter vs. the all-natural kind 57. People who don't use turn signals deserve mandatory prison sentences 56. Never let a girl shave your balls 55. Porn saves lives 54. Republicans are better at... well... nothing 53. If you've never had New Haven brick oven pizza, you've never had pizza. There is no pizza in New York or Chicago. Don't argue, you'll just sound foolish 52. Old country = cool Alt-country = really cool New country = sucks 51. Condition your hair once a day 50. Masturbate twice a day 49. Eat three square meals every day 48. Women should never cut their hair, unless they're going to play for the other team 47. Crying is blackmail 46. Your choice: spay or neuter your pet... or yourself 45. If she sleeps in your bed, sex is a given 44. If a girl leaves her dirty panties lying around, she wants you to sniff them 43. There's no such thing as "giving 110%" 42. Halloween is the only holiday that matters 41. Sympathy sex trumps make-up sex 40. Body hair just gets in the way 39. Rip bread, don't slice it 38. Every man should learn how to dance, but no other man should know he can 37. Men have no right to speak on the subject of abortion 36. Every decade gives us only one great double album: The White Album, Exile On Main Street, London Calling, Being There, and Cold Roses. 35. Chivalry is not dead, but she has to earn it 34. Watch Carnival Of Souls at least once in your lifetime 33. If your pubic hair is blonde or red, shaving is optional 32. You can cheat on girls with hairy legs 31. If they don't answer, it means yes 30. Never turn down a chance to sleep with a celebrity 29. Sex is better in warmer climates 28. Emo guys = gay; emo gals = easy marks 27. Never trust people who don't drink coffee 26. Springsteen really is The Boss 25. If there's a problem, talk it out 24. If you can't talk it out: fuck, then try again 23. Never lease what you can buy 22. Never break up using a post-it note, her biker friends will hurt you for it 21. Never say "no" to a green-eyed girl 20. Live life as if The Catcher In The Rye were your bible 19. Don't lie, you will get caught 18. Admit that the 1986 Mets were the greatest baseball team of all time and life will be easier 17. Know the legal age of consent in every place you visit 16. Wild animals belong in the wild, not in zoos, fairs, or roadside attractions 15. Pussy farts are charming 14. Only wear a bra if you're going to offend me 13. Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder 12. It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye 11. Never underestimate the power of stupid peoplein large groups 10. When in doubt, mumble 9. Masturbation is overrated 8. Small boobs are misunderstood 7. Better to be feared than loved, but even better to have your love feared 6. Handcuffs are the ultimate sex toy 5. If you can't convince them, confuse them 4. Quiet girls are the most likely to toss your salad 3. Women do not understand remote controls, there is no exception to this rule 2. Never overthink... And the most important rule of all: Friends don't fuck.
Clyde Shelton: [in court, laughing and clapping after judge grant bail, after his charade] Thank you. Judge Laura Burch: Excuse me? Clyde Shelton: No, I don't think I will excuse you. You see, this is what I'm talking about. You were about to let me go. Are you kidding me? This is why we're here in the first place. You think I don't remember who you are, lady? Judge Laura Burch: I would tread carefully, Mr. Shelton. Clyde Shelton: Well, how carefully should I tread? Because apparently I just killed two people, and you were about to let me walk right out that door! How MISGUIDED are you? I feed you a couple of bullshit legal precedents, and there you go - you jump on it like a bitch in heat. Folks, you all hang out... Judge Laura Burch: [nervously starts pounding with gavel on a sounding block] I'm warning you, Mr. Shelton! Clyde Shelton: ...in the same little club... Judge Laura Burch: You will be held in contempt! Clyde Shelton: ...and every day you let madmen and murderers back on the street. You're too busy treating the law... Judge Laura Burch: [keeps pounding] One more time! Clyde Shelton: ...like it's a fucking assembly line! Judge Laura Burch: One more time. Clyde Shelton: Do you have any idea what justice is? Judge Laura Burch: You are now... Clyde Shelton: Whatever happened to right and wrong? Judge Laura Burch: ...in contempt of court. Clyde Shelton: Whatever happened to right and wrong? Judge Laura Burch: Remove this man. Clyde Shelton: Whatever happened to the people? Judge Laura Burch: Bail denied! Clyde Shelton: Whatever happened to justice? Judge Laura Burch: Bail denied! Clyde Shelton: And I bet you take it up the fucking ass, bitch. Judge Laura Burch: Bailiff! Clyde Shelton: [to Nick Rice, as he's being dragged away in cuffs by policemen] Hey, see you later, Nick.
[Herger kills one of the Prince's henchmen in a sham duel] Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: You, you could have killed him at will. Herger the Joyous: Yes? Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: Well, why the deception? Herger the Joyous: Deception is the point! Any fool can calculate strength. That one has been doing it since we arrived. Now he has to calculate what he can't see. Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: And fear... what he doesn't know. Buliwyf: As you say, foolish. And expensive. We will miss Angus tonight, we will miss his sword.
Princess Tiana: [while standing on the balcony, she sees a wishing star] [sighs] Princess Tiana: I can't believe that I'm doing this. [looks up] Princess Tiana: Please... Please... Please [looks down and sees a frog sitting on the balcony] Princess Tiana: Oh, very funny. So, what now? I reckon you want a kiss? Prince Naveen: Kissing would be nice, yes? [Tiana screams and backs into Charlotte's room] Prince Naveen: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. [sees Tiana about to launch stuffed animals at him] Prince Naveen: Wait, wait, wait, hold on. [Tiana starts throwing the stuffed animals at him] Prince Naveen: You know, you have a very strong arm, princess. Wait, please! Put the monkey down. [Tiana throws a stuffed monkey at him] Princess Tiana: [lifts up a book] Stay back, or I'll... I'll... Prince Naveen: Please, please [hops ontop of a table] Prince Naveen: , allow me to introduce myself: I am Prince Naveen [Tiana squashes him] Prince Naveen: ... of Maldonia. Princess Tiana: A prince? But I didn't wish for any... Hold on, if you're the prince, then WHO was that waltzing with Lotte on the dance floor? Prince Naveen: The only thing I know, is that one minute I am a prince, charming and handsome, cutting-a-rug, and the next thing I know [trips over his feet] Prince Naveen: ... I am tripping over these [points to his feet and Tiana lifts the book again] Prince Naveen: Wait, wait [catches sight of the book's title] Prince Naveen: Wait a moment, I know this story! The Froggie Printo! Princess Tiana: [hands the book to Naveen] The Frog Prince? Prince Naveen: Yes, my mother had the servants read this to me every night. [begins to flip back and forth between the last two pages of the book] Prince Naveen: Yes, yes, this is exactly the answer! You must kiss me! Princess Tiana: Excuse me? Prince Naveen: You will enjoy it, I guarantee. All women enjoy the kiss of Prince Naveen. Come, we pucker. [his throat bulges out and then returns to normal] Prince Naveen: That's new. Princess Tiana: Look, I'm sorry. I'd really like to help you, but I DO NOT kiss frogs. Prince Naveen: But on the balcony, you ask me. Princess Tiana: I didn't expect you to answer! Prince Naveen: Oh, but you must kiss me. Look, besides being unbelievably handsome, I come from a fabulously wealthy family. Surely, I can offer you some reward or a wish that I could grant, perhaps? Princess Tiana: [reluctantly] Just one kiss? Prince Naveen: Just one. Unless you beg for more [licks lips] Princess Tiana: [they lean in to kiss, but Tiana flips at the last second] [sighs] Princess Tiana: All right, all right. Get it together, Tiana. [she turns around quickly and kisses Naveen] Prince Naveen: [lets out a dissapointing sigh, upon realizing that he is still a frog] [he looks down and gasps in horror] Prince Naveen: [speaks Maldonian] Princess Tiana: [gazes up at the table] Well, you don't look any different. But how did you get way up there? And how did I get way down here, in all this. [sees her hands are webbed. She looks in the mirror, sees she is a frog, and screams]
[We see Homer writing to Dr. Larch and hear the words in his voice as we are shown variously relevant scenes] Homer: Dear Dr. Larch. Thank you for your doctor's bag, although it seems that I will not have the occasion to use it, barring some emergency, of course. I am not a doctor. With all due respect to your profession, I'm enjoying my life here. I'm enjoying being a lobsterman and orchardman. In fact, I've never enjoyed myself as much. The truth is, I want to stay here. I believe I'm being of some use. [We hear the words Dr. Larch writes back to Homer in response] Dr. Wilbur Larch: My Dear Homer: I thought you were over you adolescence - the first time in our lives when we imagine we have something terrible to hide from those who love us. Do you think it's not obvious to us what's happened to you? You've fallen in love, haven't you? By the way, whatever you're up to can't be too good for your heart. Then again, it's the sort of condition that could be made worse by worrying about it, so don't worry about it. [the back and forth correspondence continues interwoven with scenes from Homer's life at the time] Homer: Dear Dr. Larch, What I'm learning her may not be as important as what I learned from you, but everything is new to me. Yesterday, I learned how to poison mice. Field mice girdle an apple tree; pine mice kill the roots. You use poison oats and poison corn. I know what you have to do. You have to play God. Well, killing mice is as close as I want to come to playing God. Dr. Wilbur Larch: Homer, here in St. Cloud's, I have been given the opportunity of playing God or leaving practically everything up to chance. Men and women of conscience should sieze those moments when it's possible to play God. There won't be many. Do I interfere when absolutely helpless women tell me they simply can't have an abortion - that they simply must go through with having another and yet another orphan? I do not. I do not even recommend. I just give them what they want. You are my work of art, Homer. Everything else has been just a job. I don't know if you have a work of art in you, but I know what your job is: you're a doctor. Homer: I'm not a doctor. Dr. Wilbur Larch: You're going to replace me, Homer. The board of trustees is looking for my replacement. Homer: I can't replace you. I'm sorry. Dr. Wilbur Larch: "Sorry"? I'm not sorry. Not for anything I've done. I'm not even sorry that I love you. [Cut to scene of Dr. Larch sitting on a hospital bed reading Homer's letter. He is crest-fallen and one of his nurses sits down to console him] Dr. Wilbur Larch: [Speaking to the nurse] I think we may have lost him to the world.
[last lines] Ted Bundy: The term "serial killer" was first used to describe Ted Bundy. In the months leading to his execution, he received more than 200 letters a day from women who claimed to love him.
Lists: 14K. First generation Chinese-American, tenth generation Triad. His father sent him to business school, and he's the only man in here who holds a degree from MIT. He's killed four men off the track... Gunner: That we know of. Lists: ...another seven on it.
Achilles: What's your name? [no reply] Achilles: Did you not hear me? Briseis: You killed Apollo's priests! Achilles: I've killed men in five countries, never a priest. Briseis: Well, then your men did. The sun god will have his vengeance. Achilles: What's he waiting for? Briseis: The right time to strike. Achilles: His priests are dead, and his acolyte's a captive. i think your god is afraid of me. Briseis: Afraid? Apollo is master of the sun, he fears nothing. Achilles: Where is he? Briseis: You're nothing but a killer! You wouldn't know anything about the gods! Achilles: I know more about the gods than your priests. I've seen them. You're royalty, aren't you? Spent years talking down to men. [sniffs her hair] Achilles: You must be royalty. What's your name? Even the servants of Apollo have names. Briseis: Briseis. Achilles: Are you afraid, Briseis? Briseis: Should I be? Eudorus: [poking head through door flaps] My lord, Agamemnon requests your presence. The kings are gathering to celebrate the victory. Achilles: You fought well today. Eudorus: My lord. Briseis: What do you want here in Troy? You didn't come for the Spartan queen. Achilles: I want what all men want, I just want it more. You don't need to fear me, girl. You're the only Trojan who can say that.
Dollar Bill: Stripping business started in Africa. Long time ago, long long time ago, white man went to Africa. And he saw all these bootiful black women, walking around, dancing, working, living, in the nude. Bucked Nakeds! You could see their public hairs. This white man went from village to village to seek out these bootiful black women, watching them perform, in the nude. TITTIES! Asses. Free. White man got an idea. He figure he go back to Europe and start the same type of business, taking away from our black women, trying to get them white bithches to dance the same identical way, huh? But to no avail. Wasn't no shame in our black women walking around BUCKED NAKED! So he went over to Europe and tried the same thang. Them white bitches told that white man the must bootiful words you ever want to hear in our profession. Ebony: What did she say? Dollar Bill: Baby, them white bitches looked that white man dead in the eye and told him, "Fuck that. Pay me!" Ha ha! That's why I get 30 percent. Ebony: When can I start? Dollar Bill: Immedjately.
Max Goldman: You mean the low-life, ass-wipe, egg-sucker John Gustafson? Snyder: Have you seen him? Max Goldman: The man's crazy. Loco. Always hanging out around those kinky strip bars. You know, the ones where the men take their clothes off. That's of course if he's taken his medication. Snyder: Medication? Max Goldman: Yes, without it he could be anywhere. Wandering around talking to the trees. I'm telling you the man's a menace, he's always drinking, starting fights.
George Carlin: Jim, Jim, calm down, calm down. You began a sentence a little while ago with 'It shouldn't be a surprise'. It shouldn't be a surprise that rich, white men don't care about poor, black people, period. So they're not high on the list. Jim Glassman: George, I love you, George, but that's nonsense. George Carlin: I don't care if you love me or not. They're not high on the conscious or the subconscious list of those people how are in charge of things in this country, the owners. Forget these foolish elections. The owners of this country don't care about the poor, in general. Jim Glassman: The owners of this country? What is this, Karl Marx talking to me? The owners of this country are the voters of this country. George Carlin: No, you're wrong about that, my friend. You're absolutely wrong. Jim Glassman: Aren't the owners of this country are the voters of this country who elected George Bush? George Carlin: No, no, they're not. Listen, these elections are a charade, they're a charade... Jim Glassman: [sarcastically] Oh, okay. George Carlin: I'll tell you, listen, just listen for a minute and learn a little something! Elections and politicians are in place in order to give Americans the ILLUSION that they have freedom of choice. You don't really have choice in this country.
King Baldwin IV: Come forward. I am glad to meet Godfrey's son. He was one of my greatest teachers. He was there when, playing with the other boys, my arm was cut. It was he, not my father's physicians who noticed that I felt no pain. He wept when he gave my father the news, that I am a leper. The Saracens say that this disease is God's vengence against the vanity of our kingdom. As wretched as I am, these Arabs believe that the chastisement that awaits me in hell is far more severe and lasting. If that's true, I call it unfair. Come. Sit. When I was sixteen I won a great victory. I felt in that moment that I should live to be one hundred, now I know I shall not see thirty. You see, none of us chose our end really. A king may move a man, a father may claim a son. But remember that, even when those who move you be kings or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God you cannot say "but I was told by others to do thus" or that "virtue was not convinient at the time. This will not suffice. Remember that. Balian of Ibelin: I will. King Baldwin IV: Then go now to your father's house at Ibelin, and from there protect the pilgim road. Protect the helpless. And then perhaps one day when I am helpless you will come and protect me.
Harrison Howell: Graham, you're a man of the world. We both know that women need a firm hand from time to time. In fact, between you and me, they like it. Fred Graham 'Petruchio': 'Women should be struck regularly, like gongs'? Harrison Howell: Who said that? Fred Graham 'Petruchio': Noel Coward. Harrison Howell: Now there's a man I'd like to meet! A straight talker! Fred Graham 'Petruchio': Not exactly...!
Bela Lugosi: Home? I have no home. Haunted... despised... living like an animal. The jungle is my home! But I will show the world that I can be its master. I shall perfect my own race of people... a race of atomic supermen that will conquer the world!
Lady Markby: And you know, I can't help feeling that this disturbing new thing, this higher education of women, will deal a terrible blow to happy married life. Laura: The higher education of men is what I should like to see. Men need it so sadly. Lady Markby: They do, dear. But I'm afraid such a scheme would be quite unpractical. I don't think man has much capacity for development. He has got as far as he can, and that is not far, is it?
Bridget Jones: Daniel Cleaver is a deceitful, sexist, disgusting specimen of humanity that I wouldn't share a lift with, let alone a job. Daniel Cleaver: [swings around on his chair, coming into Bridget's view] Oh, come on Jones there must have been something you liked about me. Bridget Jones: You have a nice car. And - quite nice manners, outside the bedroom. But that's about it. And by the way, I know exactly where Germany is. The question is, do you know the location of your arsehole? [walks out] Daniel Cleaver: [to other colleagues] As a matter of fact I do know the exact location of my arsehole. And hers, for that matter.
Katharine Hepburn: Men can't be friends with women Howard. They must posses them or leave them be. It’s a primitive urge from caveman days. It’s all in Darwin. Hunt the flesh. Kill the flesh. Eat the flesh. That's the, ah, male sex all over.
I think what makes someone beautiful is confidence and a kind heart.
Tyler Durden: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.
Will: All men are islands. And what's more, this is the time to be one. This is an island age. A hundred years ago, for example, you had to depend on other people. No one had TV or CDs or DVDs or home espresso makers. As a matter of fact they didn't have anything cool. Whereas now you can make yourself a little island paradise. With the right supplies, and more importantly the right attitude, you can become sun-drenched, tropical, a magnet for young Swedish tourists.
Connor: [on the phone with Sidda] Hi. Sidda: How did you know it was me? Connor: Who else? How are you feeling? Sidda: A little disoriented. Connor: Well, horse tranquilizers will do that for you. Sidda: I can't believe you let them do this. Connor: They didn't ask my permission. They called me on the way to the airport, they informed me of their plan. I saw you off. Sidda: From where? Connor: I met you at the airport, helped them get you on the plane. They're organized. They even had a note from a doctor. By the way, your pills are in your bag. Sidda: [to Ya Yas] I have a bag? Caro: Yeah, in the closet. Tell Connor we say hello. Connor: [Sidda asks Connor if he heard them] Yeah. I'll tell you one thing, meeting them explains a lot about you. Sidda: Such as? Connor: Well, let me put it this way. You're a hell of a lot more normal than you've any right to be. Sidda: Listen, I'm gonna try and bust out of here tomorrow. I gotta get back for work. Connor: Don't rush back on my account. Sidda: I just said it was for work. Connor: And I just meant maybe you ought to try to stay and fix this thing with your mother for once and for all. Sidda: Why are you so worried about this? Connor: Because I'm afraid that one day our kids may feel that way about you. Sidda: Ow. Connor: These women may be nuts, but I have a feeling they might know something that you don't. Sidda: I don't think it's fair that you're bringing kids we don't even have into this, Connor, okay? That was just a really low blow. Connor: Well, that's the way I feel. Stay there. Deal with it. Sidda: [hangs up] YOU deal with it.
Dex: I'm serious. If you're hanging out with women as friends, your doing your research in the wrong library. Dave: What's wrong with being friends with women? Dex: Nothing, but getting out of that category of 'friend' is harder than like getting out of Alcatraz.
Dr. White: In oranges and women courage is often mistaken for insanity.
Second Officer Charles Lightoller: I'm sorry ma'am. Your dog will have to stay behind. And you too sir. Hazel Foely: Nobody is going to tell me that my Charlie is going to have stay behind! Second Officer Charles Lightoller: I’m sorry ma'am, your husband will have to stay behind. Hazel Foely: I'm not talking about my husband! I'm talking about Charlie, I'm not going to leave my poor helpless dog on a sinking ship! Alden Foley: You can't let these women go alone. Second Officer Charles Lightoller: You heard me. No men! No dogs! Hazel Foley: Charlie will stay right here, thank you!
Al Sieber, Chief of Scouts: There's two dead women there... and two little kids. They scalped them all, all four of 'em. Bounty hunters. The government down here pays 200 pesos a head for men, 100 for women and 50 for those kids. They kill any Indian and then claim they are Apache. I don't see how any man can sink so low. Must be Texans... the lowest form of white man there is.
Samantha: I am a woman whose slept with two men on the same team. If people find that out... Martin: Oh, is that all we're doing? Just sleeping together?
Scalper: Check it out, man. The question you gotta ask yourself is how badly do you wanna see the greatest fucking rock and roll show on the fucking Earth, right? We're talking about Gene and Paul live, dog! I'm talking about the most voluptuous women hanging out in the audience. I'm talking big breasteses, and tight vesteses, my friend! You're talking people passing around joints in the audience. You're talking about fuckin' Detroit Rock City, brother. [points to strip club] Scalper: Shake your wee-wee!
Old Ptolemy: [about the Hydaspes battle] It was the bloodiest of his battles. Pure butchery, the end of all reason... we'd never be men again.
[Ace is standing in front of Lois who's in her underwear] Ace Ventura: My esteemed colleague, Mr. Marino, has just brought some new evidence to my attention. Now, history has certainly shown that even the most intuitive criminal investigator can be wrong from time to time. But if I am mistaken... if the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to be... then, my friend, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have *ever* seen! [turns Lois around to reveal a bulge in her nether regions] Ace Ventura: *That's* why Roger Podacter is dead! He found Captain Winkie! [all the men in the vicinity start throwing up because Einhorn has kissed them]
Little Vivi: These are the headdresses of the queens that have gone before us. They come from Indian holy ground... the jungles of the ancients... prairies of the Norwegians... and the forests of the mighty Amazons. The royal crowns of our people. [pouring something from a jar into a glass] Little Vivi: This is the blood of our people, the wolf people, the alligator people, and the moon women from which we gain our strength to rule all worlds. [Hands glass to Little Teensy. Little Teensy shakes head no] Little Vivi: It's ok, it's just chocolate. [Teensy drinks] Little Vivi: Teensy Melissa Whitman: I declare you, Princess-Naked-As-A-Jaybird. Little Teensy: [whispers] Ah Cha Cha! Little Vivi: [turns to Little Caro] Caro Eliza Bennett: I declare you, Duchess Soaring Hawk. [turns to Little Necie] Little Vivi: Necie Rose Kelleher: I declare you, Countess Singing Cloud. And I: Viviane Joan Abbott, am hereby and forever Queen Dancing Creek. [pulls a knife out of a shield] Little Necie: Now, wait just one second y'all... I don't think we should be cutting ourselves with that knife... Little Vivi: Silence! [nicks her hands with knife and passes it down to Little Teensy] Little Vivi: We are the flames of the fires, the whirling of the winds. We are the waters of the rains and the rivers and the oceans. We are the rocks and the stones. And now by the power invested in me, I declare we are the mighty Ya-Ya priestesses. Let no man put us under. Now our blood flows through each other as it's done for all eternity. Loyal forever. We raise our voices in the words of Mumbo Gumbo... YA-YA! All little Ya-Ya's: YA-YA!
Diamond: I loved The Players Club for offering women a way to reach their goals in life. But I also hated The Players Club for all the girls it destroyed in the process.
Jake Tyler Brigance: [in his summation, talking about Tonya Hailey] I want to tell you a story. I'm going to ask you all to close your eyes while I tell you the story. I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen to yourselves. Go ahead. Close your eyes, please. This is a story about a little girl walking home from the grocery store one sunny afternoon. I want you to picture this little girl. Suddenly a truck races up. Two men jump out and grab her. They drag her into a nearby field and they tie her up and they rip her clothes from her body. Now they climb on. First one, then the other, raping her, shattering everything innocent and pure with a vicious thrust in a fog of drunken breath and sweat. And when they're done, after they've killed her tiny womb, murdered any chance for her to have children, to have life beyond her own, they decide to use her for target practice. They start throwing full beer cans at her. They throw them so hard that it tears the flesh all the way to her bones. Then they urinate on her. Now comes the hanging. They have a rope. They tie a noose. Imagine the noose going tight around her neck and with a sudden blinding jerk she's pulled into the air and her feet and legs go kicking. They don't find the ground. The hanging branch isn't strong enough. It snaps and she falls back to the earth. So they pick her up, throw her in the back of the truck and drive out to Foggy Creek Bridge. Pitch her over the edge. And she drops some thirty feet down to the creek bottom below. Can you see her? Her raped, beaten, broken body soaked in their urine, soaked in their semen, soaked in her blood, left to die. Can you see her? I want you to picture that little girl. Now imagine she's white.
Syd: Don Giovanni slept with thousands of women because he was afraid he wouldn't be loved by one.
Dr. Stephen Arden: [Stephen and Sil have just finished having sex. Sil seems distant for a second, but then chuckles excitedly] What? Sil: I felt it! Dr. Stephen Arden: Felt what? Sil: It's started! Dr. Stephen Arden: What's started? Sil: Life! Dr. Stephen Arden: Oh, my darling girl! [laughs condeceningly] Dr. Stephen Arden: Now, I know in some south african tribes women believe they know the exact moment of conception, but really... Sil: Don't you beleive me? Here, feel! [She grabs his hand and holds it against her belly] Dr. Stephen Arden: [Stephen does indeed feel something in Sil's womb and his smile suddenly fades] Holy Shit! [Sil covers Stephen's mouth to muffle his screams as she transforms into her alien form and kills him]
Ira Lowenstein: This is what it's going to be like in the factories, too, I suppose, isn't it? "The men are back, Rosie, turn in your rivets." We told them it was their patriotic duty to get out of the kitchen and go to work; and now, when the men come back, we'll send them back to the kitchen. Walter Harvey: What should we do - send the boys returning from WAR back to the kitchen?
Betty Warren: [Betty's Third Editorial Voice Over] Wellesley girls who are married have become quite adept at balancing their obligations. One hears such comments as, "I'm able to baste the chicken with one hand and outline the paper with the other." While our mothers were called to the workforce for lady liberty it is our duty, nay, obligation to reclaim our place in the home bearing the children that will carry our traditions into the future. One must pause to consider why; Ms. Katherine Watson, instructor in the art history department, has decided to declare war on the holy sacrament of marriage. Her subversive and political teachings encourage our Wellesley girls to reject the roles they were born to fill. Katherine Watson: Slide - Contemporary art... Connie Baker: No, that's just an advertisement... Katherine Watson: Quiet. Today you just listen. What will future scholars see when they study us, a portrait of women today? There you are ladies: the perfect likeness of a Wellesley graduate, Magna Cum Laude, doing exactly what she was trained to do. Slide - a Rhodes Scholar, I wonder if she recites Chaucer while she presses her husband's shirts. Slide - hehe, now you physics majors can calculate the mass and volume of every meatloaf you make. Slide - A girdle to set you free. What does that mean? What does that mean? What does it mean? I give up, you win. The smartest women in the country, I didn't realize that by demanding excellence I would be challenging... what did it say? [Walks over to a student and picks up her copy of the editorial] Katherine Watson: What did it say? Um... the roles you were born to fill. Is that right? [Looks up at Betty] Katherine Watson: The roles you were born to fill? It's, uh, it's my mistake. [Katerine drops the student's paper back onto her desk] Katherine Watson: Class dismissed. [Katherine walks out of the classroom]
Diego Rivera: There was this skinny kid with these eyebrows shouting up at me, "Diego, I want to show you my paintings!" But, of course, she made me come down to her, and I did, and I've never stopped looking. But I want to speak about Frida not as her husband, but as an artist. I admire her. Her work is acid and tender... hard as steel... and fine as a butterfly's wing. Loveable as a smile... cruel as... the bitterness of life. I don't believe... that ever before has a women put such agonized poetry on canvas. Frida Kahlo: [as she's brought into the gallery] Shut up, panzon. Who died?
[Leon is answering a call] Leon Phelps: Yeah, well, you suffer from homo-unerectus. That means your wang is hugeified not by women but by a man.
Don Pedro Aragon: Talking between men and women never solves anything. Where we think, they feel. They are creatures of the heart.
[last lines] Jim Lovell: [narrating] Our mission was called "a successful failure," in that we returned safely but never made it to the Moon. In the following months, it was determined that a damaged coil built inside the oxygen tank sparked during our cryo stir and caused the explosion that crippled the Odyssey. It was a minor defect that occured two years before I was even named the flight's commander. Fred Haise was going back to the moon on Apollo 18, but his mission was cancelled because of budget cuts; he never flew in space again. Nor did Jack Swigert, who left the astronaut corps and was elected to Congress from the state of Colorado. But he died of cancer before he was able to take office. Ken Mattingly orbited the moon as Command Module Pilot of Apollo 16, and flew the Space Shuttle, having never gotten the measles. Gene Kranz retired as Director of Flight Operations just not long ago. And many other members of Mission Control have gone on to other things, but some are still there. As for me, the seven extraordinary days of Apollo 13 were my last in space. I watched other men walk on the Moon, and return safely, all from the confines of Mission Control and our house in Houston. I sometimes catch myself looking up at the Moon, remembering the changes of fortune in our long voyage, thinking of the thousands of people who worked to bring the three of us home. I look up at the Moon and wonder, when will we be going back, and who will that be?
Bill Dunbar: [to Katherine] Women need heroes, Katherine.
Buzz McCallister: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury... I'd like to apologize to my family for whatever displeasure I may have caused you... Kevin McCallister: What? Buzz McCallister: My prank was immature and ill-timed. Uncle Frank McCallister: Immature or not, it was pretty gol-darn hilarious. [laughs; everyone else glares] Buzz McCallister: I'd also like to apologize to my brother. Kevin, I'm sorry.
Walter Kresby: So that's why we have to leave Stepford? I'm not following. Joanna Eberhart: Ok. Before, Roger was witty and stylish and ironic. Walter Kresby: And I'm sure he still is. Joanna Eberhart: No. Now he's making speeches in a Brooks Brothers suit. Walter Kresby: Hey, there's lots of ways to be gay. Don't try to make him into a stereotype. Joanna Eberhart: Bobbie is right, and she's leaving too. This place does something to people. All of the women are always busy and perfect and smiling, and all of the men are always happy. Walter Kresby: And that's a problem because? Joanna Eberhart: Because it's not normal, Walter. It's... It's not our world. It's not us. And I'm picking up our kids from camp right now, and we're getting out of here. With or without you. [she goes to the front door but it is locked, she is extremely frusrated] Walter Kresby: You'll never change will you? Not really. Joanna Eberhart: [deadpan] Open the door. Walter Kresby: [he disables the security system, Joanna is leaving when... ] And you're right. Joanna Eberhart: [she turns to him] About what? Walter Kresby: If you're that unhappy, then we should move. Maybe head back to the city. We could leave tomorrow. Joanna Eberhart: [she sighs and hugs Walter] Thank you. Thank you.
Trey Porter: You know, Sigmund Freud said the best way to understand women is by listening to them. Chief James Porter: Did he say anything about understanding ten year-olds?
Anthony: You see any white people in there waiting an hour and thirty two minutes for a plate of spaghetti? Huh? And how many cups of coffee did we get? Peter: You don't drink coffee and I didn't want any. Anthony: That woman poured cup after cup to every single white person around us. Did she even ask you if you wanted any? Peter: We didn't get any coffee that you didn't want and I didn't order, and this is evidence of racial discrimination? Did you happen to notice our waitress was black? Anthony: And black women don't think in stereo types? You tell me something man. When was the lat time you met one who didn't think she knew everything about your lazy ass? Before you even open your mouth, huh?
Hasidic woman shopkeeper: I watched TV while I was in the hospital, and I was amazed that women could watch it all day long and not become mentally ill.
Tony: I don't need to know nothin' 'bout women when I got a momma, a cat, nine sisters and a gay uncle.
Malcolm: I have this theory. I think, historically, women have been held back in so many ways that when they get power like they do behind the wheel, they can't help but abuse it. It's akin to Hannah Arendt's Eichmann theory about prison guards and prisoners switching roles.
Mary: [to Precious] Oh, so you're going to stand up there and look down at me like you're a woman? You don't know what real women do! Real women sacrifice! [Throws glass at Precious, which shatters at her feet] Mary: Now, laugh at that, fat bitch.
Lee: You owe me a copy of the Beach Boy's greatest hits. James Carter: Don't you go having gettin' an attitude with me Lee. I been here three days and ain't done nothin' but work your cases. The only reason why I'm here in Hong Kong is 'cause you said you was gonna show me a good time. I'm on vacation, man! and I want some mu shu. Lee: Mushu, you hungry? James Carter: No, not mushu? MU shu. I want to see some women man. Now, stop playing dumb and take me to the SHU.
Colin: [Abby is on a date with Colin. Mike is relaying instructions to her via an earpiece] I'm used to women I can figure out in, like, five seconds. I can't do that with you. Mike Chadway: [to Abby via earpiece] He's an idiot. I had you figured in two. Now say good night and stick your tits out.
Maj. Gen. J.E.B. Stuart: You wish to see me, sir? General Robert E. Lee: [Lee nods and sighs; there is a short pause] It is the opinion of some... excellent officers that you have let us all down. Maj. Gen. J.E.B. Stuart: [angry at the slight to his honor] General Lee, sir, if you will please tell me who these gentlemen are... General Robert E. Lee: There will be none of that. There is no time. Maj. Gen. J.E.B. Stuart: Sir, I only ask that I be allowed to defend my... General Robert E. Lee: [raising his voice slightly] There is no time. [Stuart looks stunned] General Robert E. Lee: General Stuart... your mission was to free this army from the enemy cavalry and report any movement by the enemy's main body. That mission was not fulfilled. You left here with no word of your movement or movement of the enemy for several days. Meanwhile, we were engaged here and drawn into battle without adequate knowledge of the enemy's strength or position, without knowledge of the ground. So it is only by God's grace that we did not meet disaster here. Maj. Gen. J.E.B. Stuart: General Lee, there were reasons... General Robert E. Lee: [Lee holds up his hand to silence Stuart] Perhaps you misunderstood my orders? Perhaps I did not make myself clear. Well, sir... this must be made *very* clear. You, sir, with your cavalry, are the eyes of this army. Without your cavalry, we are made blind. That has already happened once. It must never, *never* happen again. Maj. Gen. J.E.B. Stuart: [Stuart stares at the floor, then slowly draws his sword in token of his resignation] Sir... since I no longer hold the General's... General Robert E. Lee: [suddenly furious, Lee pounds the table with his fist] I have *told* you, there is no time for that! There is no time! [he pauses, takes a deep breath, and calms down again] General Robert E. Lee: There is another fight comin' tomorrow, and we need you. We need every man, God knows. You must take what I have told you, and learn from it, as a man does. [he takes Stuart's sword and replaces it in its scabbard] General Robert E. Lee: There has been a mistake. It will not happen again; I know your quality. You are one of the finest cavalry officers I have ever known, and your service to this army has been invaluable. Now... let us speak no more of this. [he turns and slowly walks away, then turns back to Stuart] General Robert E. Lee: The matter is concluded. Good night, General. [not knowing what to think of this show of mercy, Stuart snaps a crisp salute, and Lee returns it]
Kevin Costner: You know, the great thing about Vietnam, if you can find one great thing about Vietnam, was that we have Vietnam to look back on. Vietnam serves a purpose. We have this gigantic window into our past history and why we find ourselves where we're at. That's the only good I can see that that war ever did for us. And we've ignored the lesson. Bill Maher: The key lesson to me of Vietnam is that you cannot outlast insurgents in their own country. This idea that when Bush says, "Well, we can't say we're going to pull out in six months because they'll only have to wait six months and a day." They'll wait a hundred years if they have to! Gen. Wesley Clark: Bill, the key lesson - the key lesson of Vietnam is that you've got to have a strategy that has a chance of success before you commit the lives of the men and women in uniform.
[from trailer] Francois Pienaar: I was thinking how a man could spend thirty years in prison, and come out and forgive the men who did it to him...
Joe Mole products... - Joe Mole
0 - people who like it Add to favorite
Susanne Martinkova products... - Susanne Martinkova
1 - people who like it Add to favorite
Charles Ashton products... - Charles Ashton
Robert Verrell products... - Robert Verrell
Fred Wright products... - Fred Wright
Herbert Thomas products... - Herbert Thomas
