[Barry looks around... ] Barry: Healthy Choice and American Airlines got together and put this promotion: If you buy any 10 Healthy Choice products, they will reward you with 500 frequent flier miles; with this special coupon, they'll up it to 1,000 miles. So, I think they are trying to push their teriyaki chicken which is $1.79, but I went to the supermarket and I looked around and I saw that they had pudding... for 25¢ a cup... comes in packages of four. But insanely... the barcodes... are on the individual cups! So, quarter a cup, say you bought $2.50 worth. That's worth 500... with the coupon it's 1,000 miles. It's a marketing mistake but I'm taking advantage of it. If you were to spend $3,000, that would get you a million frequent flier miles. You would never have to pay for a ticket the rest of your life. Lena: You... you bought all that pudding so that you could get frequent flier miles?
Elaine Miller: Adolescence is a marketing tool.
Marie: I'd like to welcome Alan Rathbone from York. He's here to tell us about the history of the milk marketing board.
Rollo Lee: About some of these sponsorship ideas. Willa Weston: Mmm? Rollo Lee: I, I wonder if you and your fiancé don't, don't feel that... some, some of them are... Willa Weston: [interrupting] Fiancé? Vince? No, no. No, no, we're not together. Rollo Lee: Ohh, good. Willa Weston: "Good"? Rollo Lee: Good. - I mean, I know we're not making 20% yet, but, but some of the marketing devices are a bit... a bit... crude? Willa Weston: Yes. Rollo Lee: Good. Because, you know, the, the keepers and, um, and I were... Willa Weston: [looking into the lemur cage, while removing her jacket to expose a skimpy dress] Oh, look at that. *Aren't* they *gorgeous*? Oh, they just make you want to *fondle* them... Rollo Lee: Oh yes. Yes, yes, uh, yes, I see what you mean. Yes. Willa Weston: Is this one your favorite? Rollo Lee: Yes, yes, I like him breast of... uh, best, ahem, of all the... the small mammaries. Mammals. (Sorry.) Ahem. Yes, his, his name's, uh, Rollo, actually. Willa Weston: Really. Rollo Lee: Hm. Yes, so I, I sort of feed him some little special tits-bits. Tits. Tid, tid, sorry, tidbits. (Keep making boobs.) Anyway, he just... loves his nuts. Willa Weston: [slowly] Does he? Hmm. And is, uh, Rollo very sexually active? Rollo Lee: Well, he, he doesn't have a, a partner at the moment. You, you know, if he, if he had one... Willa Weston: One? Rollo Lee: Hm? Willa Weston: I mean, just one? He wouldn't get bored, or...? I mean... you had two... in your cage the other day. Rollo Lee: Oh, yes, huh. I mean, um, some of those, some of those sponsorship gimmicks are a bit sexcessive... exsexi... sexiss... Willa Weston: Excessive. Rollo Lee: That's it, sorry. Freudian slit. Slut. Slot.
George Sr.: [pleading his case to the Mexican police] Wait a minute, I'm not Oscar, I'm George. Prison guard: The Cornballer. George Sr.: Si, si, the cornballer. [the Mexican guards show George Sr. their scarred arms from using the Cornballer] Narrator: George Sr. had been marketing a device called "The Cornballer" in Mexico after the severe burns it caused led to it being banned in the U.S. [footage of George Sr. strangling Richard Simmons]
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