Bernard:
[after Shame lies about him and Wayman] He's lying! Don't believe him, Bernard. Don't believe him.
Shame:
Oh, you didn't say that last night when we was in bed together, girl!
Bernard:
You *slept* with him? You *slut*! [slaps Wayman senseless]
Wayman:
Bernard?
Shame:
Save your tears, honey, you never had a chance! Coffee's good with cream but better when it's black!
Bernard:
Don't you ever, *ever* call me again. And you "Mr. Coffee", if you like some steamed milk with your double espresso, I'm your man!
Wayman:
Bernard, I'm sorry! I promise I'll call you.
Bernard:
[simultaneously] Don't sorry me, Wayman!
Ronnie Shields:
Damn, she got some boobies on her.
Wheeler:
You sure are a fan of the boobies, kid.
Ronnie Shields:
Oh yeah. Sometimes I call myself "The Booby Watcher". I even have my own comic book. "The Adventures of The Booby Watcher".
Wheeler:
Okay. You know, I have a theory about boobies.
Ronnie Shields:
Really?
Wheeler:
Oh yeah. You see, there are as many women as there are men in this world.
Ronnie Shields:
True dat, true dat.
Wheeler:
And every woman has two boobs, for the most part. So there are twice as many boobs as there are men. We're outnumbered and it's overwhelming. We're powerless, and we have to accept it.
Ronnie Shields:
I like yo' take on boobies. And I like boobies.
Wheeler:
Kid, you got a lot to learn.
Ronnie Shields:
I know what I'm doin'.
Wheeler:
Oh really? So you don't realize you've just committed one of the most common rookie boob-watching errors?
Ronnie Shields:
What you mean?
Wheeler:
Never stare at the boobies, kid. Once you get caught, the game's over.
Ronnie Shields:
But how?
Wheeler:
It's called training. You know, being aware without drawing attention. You don't think I've noticed those 34 C's in the camouflage tank top setting up a tent directly to the left of us? Or how about those twin cannons hiking up a mountain ridge 50 yards due west? Or the ridge itself? Round mounds of grass shaped like...
Ronnie Shields:
Boobies!
Wheeler:
Don't look over there. Look here. Focus... You'll get it.
Veronica Franco:
I confess that as a young girl I loved a man who would not marry me for want of a dowry. I confess I had a mother who taught me a different way of life, one I resisted at first but learned to embrace. I confess I became a courtesan, traded yearning for power, welcomed many rather than be owned by one. I confess I embraced a whore's freedom over a wife's obedience. I confess I find more ecstacy in passion than in prayer. Such passion is prayer. I confess I pray still to feel the touch of my lover's lips. His hands upon me, his arms enfolding me... Such surrender has been mine. I confess I pray still to be filled and enflamed. To melt into the dream of us, beyond this troubled place, to where we are not even ourselves. To know that always, this is mine. If this had not been mine-if I had lived any other way-a child to her husband's will, my soul hardened from lack of touch and lack of love... I confess such endless days and nights would be a punishment far greater than you could ever mete out. You, all of you, you who hunger so for what I give yet cannot bear to see that kind of power in a woman. You call God's greatest gift-ourselves, our yearning, our need to love-you call it filth and sin and heresy... I repent there was no other way open to me. I do not repent my life.
Dollar Bill:
Stripping business started in Africa. Long time ago, long long time ago, white man went to Africa. And he saw all these bootiful black women, walking around, dancing, working, living, in the nude. Bucked Nakeds! You could see their public hairs. This white man went from village to village to seek out these bootiful black women, watching them perform, in the nude. TITTIES! Asses. Free. White man got an idea. He figure he go back to Europe and start the same type of business, taking away from our black women, trying to get them white bithches to dance the same identical way, huh? But to no avail. Wasn't no shame in our black women walking around BUCKED NAKED! So he went over to Europe and tried the same thang. Them white bitches told that white man the must bootiful words you ever want to hear in our profession.
Ebony:
What did she say?
Dollar Bill:
Baby, them white bitches looked that white man dead in the eye and told him, "Fuck that. Pay me!" Ha ha! That's why I get 30 percent.
Ebony:
When can I start?
Dollar Bill:
Immedjately.
Ebenezer Scrooge:
[in the graveyard] Must we return to this place? There is something else that I must know, is that not true? Spirit, I know what I must ask. I fear to, but I must. Who was the wretched man whose death brought so much glee and happiness to others? [the spirit points to a headstone, Scrooge begins moving toward it, then turns back, frightened]
Ebenezer Scrooge:
Answer me one more question. Are these the shadows of things that *will* be, or are they the shadows of things that *may* be only? [the spirit points again at the gravestone, Scrooge slowly approaches it]
Ebenezer Scrooge:
These events can be changed! A life can be made right. [he clears the snow from the stone and reads]
Ebenezer Scrooge:
[in tears] Ebenezer Scrooge! Oh please Spirit, no! Hear me, I, I am not the man I was! Why would you show me this if I am past all hope?... [sobbing]
Ebenezer Scrooge:
I, I *will* honor Christmas, and try to keep it all the year! I will live my life in the past, the present and the future. I will not shut out the lessons the spirits have taught me! Tell me that I may sponge out the writing on this stone! [kneeling, clutching at the spirit's robe]
Ebenezer Scrooge:
Oh Spirit, please speak to me!
Paula Burns:
Onto new business. Mr. Radcliff is checking out of seven oh nine. Mr. Greenwald is checking in. He's back on the wagon, so let's clear out the minibar. Kanga CFO, Mr. Fukimoro is checking into eight fourteen. Stock Evian, shampoo the rugs and extra slippers for his guests. Marisa heads up on the Madison Suite.
Marisa:
Housekeeping.
Paula Burns:
Mrs. Sage is arriving with the children, preferably after Mr. Sage's girlfriend departs.
Mr. Sage's Girlfriend:
You son of a bitch!
Paula Burns:
Let's make sure it's a smooth transition. The Guedj sisters are back. Let's track them on surveillance, but do keep an eye on all bathrobes, cutlery and light fixtures. Sotheby's director, Caroline Lane has switched from the Four Seasons. She requested a park view and favors purple orchids and lavender scenes. Assemblyman Chris Marshall arrives today. He's gearing up his campaign, so his suite will be doubling as a conference centre, with the liquor and coffee bars turning over every four hours. And he's bringing his large dog, so we'll need proper accouterments. And finally, Mr. Newman is back in the Sherman Suite. Careful, ladies, he's a Full Monty.
Full Monty:
Oh... I had no idea anyone was here.
Stephanie Kehoe, Maid:
Don't worry about it, Mr. Monty. It's no big deal. And I do mean...
Marisa, Stephanie Kehoe, Maid:
...No big deal.
Jimmer Negamanee:
Shay, Reubensh.
Rueben Soady:
Yea?
Jimmer Negamanee:
Shince you ain't sherving shashties, I'd sure shike shome of those sherman shlapjakcs. [laughs]
Jimmer Negamanee:
I could eat shlapjacks every day of the weeksh, eh.
Rueben Soady:
Oh, I know you could, Jimmer.
Remnar Soady:
No, not flapjacks.
Jimmer Negamanee:
Ya'll don't like the shlapjacks?
Remnar Soady:
Macaroni and cheese, tank you very much.
Albert Soady:
With spam.
Remnar Soady:
With spam.
Jimmer Negamanee:
How'sh about shlapjacks with spam?
Rueben Soady:
Uh, fellas.
Albert Soady:
J-just spam for me.
Remnar Soady:
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
Rueben Soady:
No flapjacks, no macaroni and cheese, and no spam.
Albert Soady:
No spam?
Rueben Soady:
Boys you are not only going to eat like kings, but that 2o bucks you was going to throw into the kiddie for pasties, keep it. I am about to feed the whole camp for all week for absolutely free.
Bruce Wayne:
[Edward extends his had to shake Bruce's] Mister...?
Edward Nygma:
Ohhhhh... Bruce Wayne.
Bruce Wayne:
No, that's uh, my name. And you are?
Edward Nygma:
Oh! Nygma. Edward... Edward Nygma. You hired me personally. We've never actually met, but you signed the employment form yourself. I have it.
Bruce Wayne:
I'm gonna need that hand back, Ed.
Edward Nygma:
Oh! Yes, of course! I'm sorry. It's just that... you're my idol.
Fred Stickley:
[reaches for Nygma's arm] Back to work Edward.
Edward Nygma:
[yanks arm away] And *some* people have been trying to keep us apart.
Fred Stickley:
Back to work Edward!
Bruce Wayne:
It's okay. So, Mr. Nygma, what's on your mind?
Edward Nygma:
Precisely! What's on all our minds? Brainwaves. [giggles]
Edward Nygma:
The future of Wayne Enterprises is brainwaves. [runs into his cubicle]
Fred Stickley:
You'll have to forgive this Mr. Wayne. I personally terminated this project this morning!
Bruce Wayne:
It's okay.
Edward Nygma:
[pops out with a high-tech contraption] I have it! Voila! Huh? My invention beams any TV signal directly into the human brain. By stimulating the neurons, manipulating brainwaves if you will, this device makes the viewer feel like they're actually inside the show! Why be brutalized by an uncaring world?
Bruce Wayne:
Did you say manipulating brainwaves?
Edward Nygma:
Well... uh... yes.
Bruce Wayne:
Hmmm.
Edward Nygma:
Not that someone like you would need this. Someone so... sophisticated... and intelligent. I just need additional funds and time for human testing. Let me show you, *please!*
Bruce Wayne:
Now look Ed, I'm going to need a full set of technical schematics on this, alright?
Edward Nygma:
I want you to know we're gonna be full partners on this Bruce! Look at us! Two of a kind!
Bruce Wayne:
You call my assistant Margaret, she'll set something up.
Edward Nygma:
[grabs Wayne by the arm] Uhhhhhh... that's not gonna be good for me. I need an answer now. I think I deserve it.
Bruce Wayne:
Well I'm sorry Ed, then the answer's no. Stimulating neurons... tampering with people's brainwaves... it just raises too many questions. I'm sorry. Thanks everybody, factory looks great. Keep up the good work.
Fred Stickley:
Alright, everyone. Back to work. [in Nygma's ear]
Fred Stickley:
We'll discuss this later!
Edward Nygma:
[watching Wayne leave] You were supposed to understand! [pause]
Edward Nygma:
I'll *make* you understand...
Müller:
Perhaps the judge has a special love for them?
Klopfer:
[mutters appreciatively] Yes, yes a special love for them... very good...
Dr. Wilhelm Stuckart:
For whom? For Jews! Wonderful, you don't have my credentials. Forgive me, from your uniform I can infer you're shallow, ignorant and naive about the Jews. Your line and what the party rants on about how inferior they are, some-some-some sub-species, and I keep saying how wrong that is! They are sublimely clever. And they're intelligent as well. My indictment to that race is stronger and heavier because they are real not uneducated ideology. They are arrogant, they are self-obsessed, and calculating and they reject the Christ and I will not have them pollute German blood!
General Reinhard Heydrich:
[tries to calm Stuckart down] Please, doctor...
Dr. Wilhelm Stuckart:
He doesn't understand! And neither do his people. Deal with the reality of the Jew and the world will applaud us. Treat them as imaginary phantoms, evil in human fantasies, and the world would have justified contempt for us! To kill them casually without regard for the law martyrs them, which will be their victory! Sterilization recognizes them as a part of our species but prevents them from being a part of our race. They will disappear soon enough. And we will have acted in defense of our race and by the law! This fellow here mentioned the laws for the protection of German blood, *I wrote that law*! When you have my credentials then we'll talk about who loves the Jews or who hates them. Pigs don't know how to hate. I know too, when it comes to the half-mixed, that to kill them abandons the half of their blood which is German.
Klopfer:
I'll remember you.
Dr. Wilhelm Stuckart:
You should. I'm very well known.
Joe Pitt:
I think we ought to pray. Ask God for help. Ask him together.
Harper Pitt:
God won't talk to me. I have to make up people to talk to me.
Joe Pitt:
You have to keep asking.
Harper Pitt:
I forgot the question?... Oh, yeah. God, is my husband a homo?
Joe Pitt:
Stop it! Stop it! I'm warning you! Does it make any difference that I might be one thing deep within? No matter how wrong or ugly that thing is so long as I have fought with everything I have to kill it? What do you want from me? What do you want from me Harper, more than that? For God's sake, there's nothing left. I'm a shell. There's nothing left to kill. As long as my behaviour is what I know it has to be, decent, correct that alone in the eyes of God.
Harper Pitt:
No, no, not that. That's Utah talk, Mormon talk. I hate it, Joe. Tell me, say it.
Joe Pitt:
All I will say is that I'm a very good man who has worked very hard to become good and you wanna destroy that. You wanna destroy me but I am not gonna let you do that.
Harper Pitt:
I'm gonna have a baby.
Joe Pitt:
Liar!
Harper Pitt:
You liar!... A baby born addicted to pills. A baby who does not dream but who hallucinates, who stares up at us with big mirror eyes and who does not know who we are.
Joe Pitt:
Are you really?
Harper Pitt:
No... Yes... No... Yes... Get away from me. Now we both have a secret.
Old Story Teller:
And a Man sat alone, drenched deep in sadness. And all the animals drew near to him and said, "We do not like to see you so sad. Ask us for whatever you wish and you shall have it." The Man said, "I want to have good sight." The vulture replied, "You shall have mine." The Man said, "I want to be strong." The jaguar said, "You shall be strong like me." Then the Man said, "I long to know the secrets of the earth." The serpent replied, "I will show them to you." And so it went with all the animals. And when the Man had all the gifts that they could give, he left. Then the owl said to the other animals, "Now the Man knows much, he'll be able to do many things. Suddenly I am afraid." The deer said, "The Man has all that he needs. Now his sadness will stop." But the owl replied, "No. I saw a hole in the Man, deep like a hunger he will never fill. It is what makes him sad and what makes him want. He will go on taking and taking, until one day the World will say, 'I am no more and I have nothing left to give.'"
Alec Trevelyan:
We're both orphans, James. But while your parents had the luxury of dying in a climbing accident, mine survived the British betrayal and Stalin's execution squads. My father couldn't let himself or my mother live with the shame. MI6 figured I was too young to remember. And in one of life's little ironies, the son went to work for the government whose betrayal caused the father to kill himself and his wife.
James Bond:
Hence Janus. The two-faced Roman god come to life.
Alec Trevelyan:
It wasn't God who gave me this face! It was you, setting the timers for three minutes instead of six.
James Bond:
Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?
Alec Trevelyan:
No. You were supposed to die for me. [pause]
Alec Trevelyan:
And, by the way, I did think about asking you to join my little scheme but somehow I knew, 007's loyalty was always to the mission, never to his friend. [louder]
Alec Trevelyan:
Closing time, James! Last call. [Bond raises his gun to kill Alec but is tranquilized by a sniper]
Alec Trevelyan:
[walks towards Bond and looks down on him] For England, James.
