Donald Kaufman: [spying on Susan with binoculars] She's crying. She's at her computer. Charlie Kaufman: This is morally reprehensible. Donald Kaufman: United... to Miami. Eleven... fifty five am tomorrow. I thought she was down with Laroche. Charlie Kaufman: Her parents live in Florida, Donald. Donald Kaufman: That was no parent phone call, my friend. Charlie Kaufman: Don't say "my friend". Donald Kaufman: A guy entering. Handsome. Charlie Kaufman: Must be her husband. Donald Kaufman: She's acting weird with him, though, right? Don't you think? What's she hiding from him? Maybe she's a lesbian and doesn't know how to tell him. What do you think?
Wendy: Seriously when did being a lesbian become cooler than blowing a rock star? Billie: You've never blown a rock star. Wendy: Well, neither have you.
Raleigh: [after reading a private investigator's research on Margot background, which includes being adopted, a previous marriage, several one-night stands with other men, and a lesbian affair] So, she smokes.
Security Receptionist: I'm sorry sir, we don't have any openings. Bircham: You don't have any openings for a guy who can put on a blindfold, dismantle an AK-47, oil it up and reassemble it in under four minutes? Security Receptionist: I'm afraid... Bircham: No openings for someone who can slip in under cover of darkness, garrote his target with piano wire, and escape undetected, you don't have any openings for someone like that? Security Receptionist: Sir... Bircham: A man who put his ass on the line for two tours in Vietnam, so you could go home to your lesbian partner, and live in a judgment-free society. No openings for someone like that?
David Gale: There once was a lesbian from Cancun/ who took a young man up to her room/ where they argued all night/ as to who had the right/ to do what and how much and to whom.
Editor: Dear Ms. Corrine Mahern, we regret that we must decline to publish the three short stories you sent to us. 'Benny's Basketball' is strong narratively, but the depiction of your penis-waving retarded boy felt a little unkind. And isn't the title 'Separating Eggs For Flan' a bit obvious as a metaphor for your parents' divorce? Yet we confess that 'Skydiver' puzzled us most. Why would a beautiful, self-centered young lesbian jump out of a plane?
Jessica (Clive): [after kissing April] I am so lesbian right now.
[Sol and Hardecore are fighting] Hardcore: You pussy, you fight like a lesbian biker bitch. Sol: That's funny you look like one.
Boy on Couch: I had a lesbian midwife who gave birth to my mother, while I was born through my mother's womb.
Guy Stone: You're like a lesbian trapped in a gay man's body.
[with a gun in her enemy's crotch] Libby Holden: I am a gay lesbian woman! I do not mythologize the male sexual organ!
Larry Gigli: As far as the whole lesbian thing goes. Ricki: Yeah? Larry Gigli: If you do ever think about hoppin' the fence, promise you'll give me a call first.
Sebastian: I read your manifesto. Annette: You did? Sebastian: Yes. I must say, I found it rather... appalling. Annette: That's a first. Most people praise me for it. Sebastian: Most people are sheep. Who are you to criticize something you've never experienced? Annette: I wasn't criticizing. I just think people shouldn't experience the act of love until they are in love and I just don't think people our age are mature enough to experience those kinds of emotions. Sebastian: Are you a lesbian? Annette: No... Sebastian: I didn't mean to offend you. I just picked up on a little bit of that lesbian vibe.
[Ross is newly divorced from his lesbian wife] Ross: You know what the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody, you know? I mean, what if you get one woman, and that's it? Unfortunately, in my case, it was only one woman for her. Joey: What are you talking about? One woman? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing. Cherry Vanilla. You could get them with jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream. This is the best thing that ever happened to you. You got married, you were, what, eight? Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon. Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny. Chandler: Stay out of my freezer.
Judy: Bill, why are you hosing down the backyard? Bill: Simple. When our lesbian neighbors see how muddy and disgusting our backyard is, they'll give us that zoning permit to build a deck and a video of them playing shower games with each other.
Freak: I can't think of a single movie that couldn't be improved by a lesbian sex scene.
Brodie: My Grandmother always used to say "why buy the cow, when you can get the sex for free". T.S. Quint: She didn't! Brodie: All the time, before she became a lesbian on her 60th Birthday, but that's besides the point.
Traci Spector: Moonrakers is the hottest gay club in town, but you don't have to be gay or lesbian to have a good time here. I'm not gay... or a lesbian and I had the time of my life!
[trying to return the dildo Stifler found] Jim: Which room, man? Which room? Stifler: I can't remember shit, man, I was too excited! I'm in a lesbian stronghold.
[Tv on] Geraldo: "Lesbian Bandits" next on "Geraldo" Max: Ooooh Lesbians yummy.
Ross: You know what? I'd better pass on the game. I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover. Joey: The hell with hockey. Let's all do that.
Stumpy: Hey, Pig Pen, you ever been in one of those lesbian chat rooms? Pig Pen: No... are they good? Stumpy: [looking away] Well, I don't know.
Jay: [to Willam, who's struggling to see a Sailboat in the Magic-Eye picture] What you need is a fatty-boom-batty blunt! And I guarantee you'll be seeing a sailboat, an ocean, and maybe even some of those big-tittied mermaids doing some of that lesbian shit! Look at me, look at me, you sloppy bitch!
Massarelli, Prosecuting Attorney: Are you a lesbian too, Ms. Nickerson? Robin: No sir but at times I understand the inclination.
Bubba: If I were a woman, I'd be a slut. A lesbian slut.
[Rachel is trying to stall Monica from getting ready] Rachel: I'll just become a lesbian Monica: Any woman would be lucky to have you
Justine: Well, said the politically correct lesbian caterer to the embarrassingly stereotypical but I suppose necessary fag florist, can we discuss this after we put the cake down?
I never ever thought that I was a giggler. I was the one who could hold it together but I didn't on this... - Ashley Jensen
2 - people who like it Add to favorite
They're not clothes that Ashley would wear. But the thing is, you can't stand out. At first I thought, ... - Ashley Jensen
1 - people who like it Add to favorite
I know what I look like. I'm not a babe who's automatically going to be the leading-lady type. I think ... - Ashley Jensen
0 - people who like it Add to favorite
Wow, that's a lot. Basically I have been trying to build a career for myself. I learned early on what to... - Alana Evans
The only person who beat me was Jenna Jameson and that kicks ass.... - Alana Evans
I've learned to think in terms of having a long career. Actors can have very long careers that last unti... - Bryce Dallas Howard
