Nick Lang: Ever killed anybody? John Moss: Counting today? Nick Lang: C'mon John. Look, my character kills this guy. It's probably an innocent by-stander. I just want to know what that's like. John Moss: You can't. Not by asking someone. Nick Lang: Will you open up? I just want to know what it feels like to be inside your skin. John Moss: I DON'T WANT YOU INSIDE MY SKIN, YOU UNDERSTAND? It's private! What's in there belongs to me! You're not gonna learn what it means to be a cop by eating hot dogs and picking your teeth and asking stupid questions. We live this job. It's something we are, not something we do! Every time a cop walks up to a car and has to give a speeding ticket, he know he may have to kill someone or be killed himself. That's not something you step into by strapping on a rubber gun and riding around all day. You get to go back to your million dollar beach house and your bimbos and your blow jobs and you get 17 takes to get it right. We get one take. It lasts our whole lives. We mess it up and we're dead. Nick Lang: [picking up a tape recorder] Fuck was that great! John. Look. Can you just say that one more time for me, please? John.
Andre Devine: I have give two blowjobs to English Insurance people, I am not homo-ist, I am man! I am on my knees like German teenager to English people with wrotten teeth in their mouths!
Bert: If I can teach you one thing, which is supposed to be my job here. It'd be that you should all go home. Bert: Michael Bennett's dead. Bob Fosse is dead. Times Square is a theme park now. Bert: I hate to be the Grinch, but it's not normal what goes on up here. Somebody has got to warn you. Bert: Teenage faghags become adult faghags. Straight boys are straight. You can't turn 'em just because you need to be loved. Bert: The foundation that's being laid here is not going to help you in the real world. Bert: It's going to lead to waitressing jobs and bitterness and the obsessive, pointless collecting of out-of-print original cast albums.
Vladimir: There's this guy, Boris Dime, used to pull jobs for me. He's the captain of the cargo ship Charon. Now that bastard turncoat's gone over to the other side, Punchenello's. The ship's loaded with high-res hardware, guns, my business. If Punchenello gets a hold of that cargo, he's won and I have lost, and you'll have your work cut out for you. If you want to get to Punchenello you'll need heavy duty persuaders. I'm just the man to get them for you. Change the ship back under my flag, maybe pop two in the traitor Dime's head while you're at it... you'll have enough guns to start the apocalypse.
[in a letter to Max] Dirk Calloway: Dear Max, I am sorry to say that I have secretly found out that Mr. Blume is having an affair with Miss Cross. My first suspicions came when I saw them Frenching in front of our house. And then I knew for sure when they went skinny dipping in Mr. Blume's swimming pool, giving each other handjobs while you were taking a nap on the front porch.
Al Gore: Unemployment around the country has gone up; the number of jobs has gone down. The trade deficit has gone up; personal income has gone down. The budget deficit has gone up; consumer confidence has gone down. Poverty has gone up; the number of jobs has gone down. Bankruptcies have gone up, jobs, down; fear, up; hope, down; everything that oughta be down is *up*, everything that should be up is *down*; they've got it upside down, and we're gonna turn it right side *up!*
Kurt Potter: Wha... how did you do this? Erin Brockovich: Well, um, seeing as how I have no brains or legal expertise, and Ed here was losing all faith in the system, am I right? Ed Masry: Oh, yeah, completely. No faith, no faith... Erin Brockovich: I just went out there and performed sexual favors. Six hundred and thirty-four blow jobs in five days... I'm really quite tired.
Hedwig: After my divorce from Luther I scraped by with baby-sitting gigs and odd jobs - mostly the jobs we call blow. I had lost my job at the base PX, and I had lost my gag reflex. You do the math.
Stan: You're a LAWYER, Jonah. You could have a hundred jobs - all of them excellent. What is it with your generation that they wander around aimlessly... Tim: But Dad, it's like we have all this pressure to achieve, because we've been told from birth we could be anything we want to be. But the thing is - wait, let me finish - it's paralyzing, because we THINK we can do anything, but really, we can only do one thing at a time, and then when we devote ourselves to it, it's just one thing; so we move from job to job, trying to find that thing which is the "anything" we want to be. Stan: Seems like you've all been spoiled, that's all. May: Stan... Tim: It's typical of you not to try to understand me. Stan: I may not understand some... things about you, but SOME things I DO understand. You think we didn't get bored? You think we didn't dream about other things? I had my sisters, and then you and your mother, to think about! May: Jonah, you have more choices and opportunities than most people in the world. How can you complain so much? Tim: I'm not complaining. I just want to make a mark. Stan: You think all of my students don't think I've made a mark? You think you're not my mark? I can't think of something I am more proud to leave behind me in the world. [Jonah looks at his father, who looks away and stands] Stan: Now I'm going to see about that pipe int he basement.
[Veronica sprays a crowd pelting Dante with cigarettes] Veronica Loughran: Who's leading this mob? Woolen Cap Smoker: [coughing] That guy. Veronica Loughran: Freeze! Let's see some credentials. *Slowly*. You're a Chewley's Gum Representative? And you're stirring up all this anti-smoking sentiment to, what, sell more gum? GET OUT OF HERE! And you people, don't you have jobs to go to? Get out of here, go commute! You oughta be ashamed of yourselves. Bunch of easily-led automatons. Try thinking for yourselves before you pelt an innocent man with cigarettes! Woolen Cap Smoker: [approaches the counter] Uhhhh... pack of cigarettes?
Mr. Blonde: Listen, I appreciate what, you guys are doin' for me, but I was wonderin' when I can come back and, you know, do some real work. Joe: Well, that's hard to say, It's kind of a strange time now. Things are a little... Nice Guy Eddie: They're a little fucked-up is what they are. Listen we got a big meetin' goin' down in Vegas right now. Joe: Just let Eddie for now set you up in Long Beach, get you some cash, Get this Scagnetti fuck off your back, and then we can start talkin' okay? Huh? Nice Guy Eddie: Listen daddy, I got an idea. Now just, hear me out. Now, I know you don't like usin' the boys on jobs like these, but Vic has been nothin' but good luck for us. The guy's a fuckin' rabbits foot for cryin' out loud. I'd like to have him in. You know he's reliable and you damn well know trust him. Joe: [pause] How would you feel about pulling off a job with about five other guys? Mr. Blonde: I'd feel great about it.
Samantha: If we could perpetually do blowjobs to every guy on earth, we would own the world. And at the same time have our hands free.
Suzzi: All those blowjobs for nothing...
Brewster: I tell ya what. Your jobs aren't just going over there, sailor. Some of us are coming over here. The world is flat like a son of a bitch. Shawn Colfax: You're giving us a lot to process here.
Prey Fan: Fuck bots, they're taking jobs away from decent human beings like me! I hope they turn that fucker into a can opener when they find him! [Takes out a gun and shoots the Protestor multiple times. Shooting him once more on the ground before looking into the news camera.] Prey Fan: So I'll be on at six right?
Reporter: What do you have to say to all the hair follicles recently laid off form the scalp? Mayor Phlegming: There will be plenty of new jobs for everyone on the back.
Warden: We all have our jobs to do... don't we?
Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: So you're a sportswriter, now? Lexie Littleton: Why not? Jimmy 'Dodge' Connelly: Well, certain jobs are always going to be done by men. Lexie Littleton: Big, strapping men?
Psychiatrist: Tell me about your dream. The Cleveland Indians all got jobs at Toys R Us? Jerry Falk: Yeah. So what can it possibly mean? Look, I can't keep wasting my hour here describing lunatic dreams. I have a date with Amanda. I can't keep running around town on the sly and live like this. Amanda can handle it, but I need help. What do I do? I have to extricate myself from Brooke. It'll break her heart. She wants to marry me. Psychiatrist: What comes to mind about the Cleveland Indians?
High Roller: That's an 18,000 dollar bet, you sure you know what you're doin kid? Lucas: I know this, that if I win this roll I will save the place that I work from being sold, and the jobs of my friends that work there. Thus striking a blow at all that is evil and making this world a better place to be in. Lady at Craps Table: Huh? Lucas: ...And I'll buy you guys a drink.
Miss Tobacco: [on being asked about the tobacco industry] It brings a lotta jobs and a lotta revenue, but... it has its health hazards and... everybody's gonna die of something, so... [giggles] Ross McElwee: May as well be tobacco? Miss Tobacco: Might as well die of something that's gonna help out the... the... *what's* the word? Here, I'm thinkin'... Ross McElwee: Economy? Miss Tobacco: [beams] *There* ya go. There ya go. Havin' a tough mornin'...
Kit Winter: How many jobs have you been fired from? Carmen Collazo: Exactly? 35... in 6 months. Kit Winter: Whoa! Carmen Collazo: I have a temper. Kit Winter: Yeah, I noticed.
Caroline Franklin: She smokes cigarettes and give blow jobs - that's a 'slut'... right?
Tony: Blow jobs don't count.
[Looking through the ads in a newspaper] Monica: There are no jobs for me. Joey: Wait, here's one. Um, would you be willing to cook naked? Monica: There's an ad for a naked chef? Joey: No. But if you'd be willing to COOK naked, you might be willing to DANCE naked.
Rebecca: You got dibs on the hottest teacher in school and you've got to go save yourself for Jesus! Emily Vanderbilt: Not true, I've given him six blow jobs and let him enter my back door, twice! Rebecca: So you have had sex with him? Emily Vanderbilt: No, what kind of girl do you think I am?
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