John Holt: Has she thanked you for anything you've done the last 20 days? Caleb Holt: No! And you'd think after I washed the car, I've changed the oil, do the dishes, cleaned the house, that she would try to show me a little bit of gratitude. But she doesn't! In fact, when I come home, she makes me like I'm - like I'm an enemy! I'm not even welcome in my own home, Dad. That is what really ticks me off! Dad, for the last three weeks, I have bent over backwards for her. I have tried to demonstrate that I still care about this relationship. I bought her flowers, which she threw away. I have taken her insults and her sarcasm, but last night was it. I made dinner for her. I did everything I could to demonstrate that I care about her, to show value for her, and she spat in my face! She does not deserve this, Dad. I'm not doing it anymore! How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over who constantly rejects me? John Holt: [touches, then leans against cross] That's a good question.
[to Bob Barker after Donald insults Happy] Happy Gilmore: I'd love to punch that guy in the face right now. But I can't, you know, because I'd get in trouble. I bet you get a lot of that on "Let's Make A Deal." Bob Barker: It's "The Price Is Right," Happy. Happy Gilmore: [grimaces in embarrassment] Oh, yeah. Sorry. Bob Barker: It happens. Let's play some golf. Happy Gilmore: Okay.
Tanzi: Insults here can only be washed away with blood.
[after Jose insults Peanut] Peanut: You're on a stick! Sticka-ka. [turning to Jeff] Peanut: Jef-fafa. [tilting his head back] Peanut: Ha-ha-ha.
Waverly Jong: As is the Chinese cook's custom, my mother always insults her own cooking, but only with the dishes she serves with special pride. Lindo Jong: This dish not salty enough. No flavor. It's too bad to eat, but please. Waverly Jong: That was our cue to eat some and proclaim it the best she'd ever made.
Gary: I'm the one who should be sorry, Brooke. I shouldn't sit here and pick on your art, because you've got the 'nuts' down, Picasso! All you have to do is cut off your frigging ear. Brooke: That's Van Gogh, you idiot. Your insults are much more effective when they're accurate.
Boss Benta: [in Japanse; subtitled] Boss Tanaka! What is the meaning of this outburst? This is a time for celebration. Boss Tanaka: [in Japanse; subtitled] And what exactly are we celebrating? The perversion of our illustrious council? Boss Honda: [in Japanse; subtitled] Tanaka, have you gone mad? I will not tolerate this! You're disrespecting our sister! Apologize! O-Ren Ishii: [in Japanse; subtitled] Tanaka-san, of what perversion do you speak? Boss Tanaka: My father... [to Benta] Boss Tanaka: along with yours... [to Ozawah] Boss Tanaka: and along with yours, started this council. And while you laugh like stupid donkeys, they weep in the afterlife over the perversion committed today. Boss Ozawah: Outrageous! Tanaka, it is you who insults this council! [Throws rag at him] Boss Ozawah: Bastard! Boss Tanaka: [Throws rag back] Fuck face! O-Ren Ishii: Gentlemen! Tanaka obvious has something on his mind. By all means, allow him to express it. Boss Tanaka: [Last words] I speak, of the perversion done to this council... which I love... more than my own children, by making a Chinese Jap-American half-breed bitch its leader! [O-Ren quickly runs across the table and cuts off his head]
[as they get dressed before the ceremony] Miss Hawaii: No insults today? Karen "New York": [Pathetic] You're a Don Ho.
Brick Tamland: [after a rival news team insults Ron and the team] Heinie... [laughs] Brick Tamland: He said heinie. Champ Kind: Brick, get back over here.
Catherine O'Shaughnessy: [seeing Chris, to Philip] THAT'S who you were dancing with? Chris: She insults me, too. My God, if you don't have tits like Dolly Parton, no one wants you.
Robbie: [Glenn offers him a drink after Jason insults him] No, I'm not a big drinker. Glenn: Well I am, how about an "Alabama Slammer"? Glenn's buddy: Sounds like a plan. Robbie: Yeah, go ahead, have a few drinks and, you know, drive home.
[after Katie issues several insults to Henry in Spanish, he responds in the same language] Katie Saldano: I didn't know you speak Spanish. Henry Creedlow: I'm full of surprises.
[Joe is trading insults with a photographer] Joey: You know what you are - you're an ass-half... Takes two of you to make an ass-whole.
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