You speak an infinite deal of nothing.
You are thought here to the most senseless and fit man for the job.
Tax not so bad a voice to slander music any more than once.
They lie deadly that tell you have good faces.
John Holt: Has she thanked you for anything you've done the last 20 days? Caleb Holt: No! And you'd think after I washed the car, I've changed the oil, do the dishes, cleaned the house, that she would try to show me a little bit of gratitude. But she doesn't! In fact, when I come home, she makes me like I'm - like I'm an enemy! I'm not even welcome in my own home, Dad. That is what really ticks me off! Dad, for the last three weeks, I have bent over backwards for her. I have tried to demonstrate that I still care about this relationship. I bought her flowers, which she threw away. I have taken her insults and her sarcasm, but last night was it. I made dinner for her. I did everything I could to demonstrate that I care about her, to show value for her, and she spat in my face! She does not deserve this, Dad. I'm not doing it anymore! How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over who constantly rejects me? John Holt: [touches, then leans against cross] That's a good question.
You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating.
[to Bob Barker after Donald insults Happy] Happy Gilmore: I'd love to punch that guy in the face right now. But I can't, you know, because I'd get in trouble. I bet you get a lot of that on "Let's Make A Deal." Bob Barker: It's "The Price Is Right," Happy. Happy Gilmore: [grimaces in embarrassment] Oh, yeah. Sorry. Bob Barker: It happens. Let's play some golf. Happy Gilmore: Okay.
She...can talk brillantly upon any subject provided she knows nothing about it.
Tanzi: Insults here can only be washed away with blood.
Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.
[after Jose insults Peanut] Peanut: You're on a stick! Sticka-ka. [turning to Jeff] Peanut: Jef-fafa. [tilting his head back] Peanut: Ha-ha-ha.
Waverly Jong: As is the Chinese cook's custom, my mother always insults her own cooking, but only with the dishes she serves with special pride. Lindo Jong: This dish not salty enough. No flavor. It's too bad to eat, but please. Waverly Jong: That was our cue to eat some and proclaim it the best she'd ever made.
Gary: I'm the one who should be sorry, Brooke. I shouldn't sit here and pick on your art, because you've got the 'nuts' down, Picasso! All you have to do is cut off your frigging ear. Brooke: That's Van Gogh, you idiot. Your insults are much more effective when they're accurate.
If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.
Boss Benta: [in Japanse; subtitled] Boss Tanaka! What is the meaning of this outburst? This is a time for celebration. Boss Tanaka: [in Japanse; subtitled] And what exactly are we celebrating? The perversion of our illustrious council? Boss Honda: [in Japanse; subtitled] Tanaka, have you gone mad? I will not tolerate this! You're disrespecting our sister! Apologize! O-Ren Ishii: [in Japanse; subtitled] Tanaka-san, of what perversion do you speak? Boss Tanaka: My father... [to Benta] Boss Tanaka: along with yours... [to Ozawah] Boss Tanaka: and along with yours, started this council. And while you laugh like stupid donkeys, they weep in the afterlife over the perversion committed today. Boss Ozawah: Outrageous! Tanaka, it is you who insults this council! [Throws rag at him] Boss Ozawah: Bastard! Boss Tanaka: [Throws rag back] Fuck face! O-Ren Ishii: Gentlemen! Tanaka obvious has something on his mind. By all means, allow him to express it. Boss Tanaka: [Last words] I speak, of the perversion done to this council... which I love... more than my own children, by making a Chinese Jap-American half-breed bitch its leader! [O-Ren quickly runs across the table and cuts off his head]
[as they get dressed before the ceremony] Miss Hawaii: No insults today? Karen "New York": [Pathetic] You're a Don Ho.
Well, Mr. Caudle, I hope you're in a little better temper than you were this morning. There, you needn't begin to whistle: people don't come to bed to whistle. But it's like you; I can't speak that you don't try to insult me. Once, I used to say you were the best creature living: now, you get quite a fiend. Do let you rest? No, I won't let you rest. It's the only time I have to talk to you, and you shall hear me. I'm put upon all day long: it's very hard if I can't speak a word at night; besides, it isn't often I open my mouth, goodness knows!
Brick Tamland: [after a rival news team insults Ron and the team] Heinie... [laughs] Brick Tamland: He said heinie. Champ Kind: Brick, get back over here.
Catherine O'Shaughnessy: [seeing Chris, to Philip] THAT'S who you were dancing with? Chris: She insults me, too. My God, if you don't have tits like Dolly Parton, no one wants you.
Robbie: [Glenn offers him a drink after Jason insults him] No, I'm not a big drinker. Glenn: Well I am, how about an "Alabama Slammer"? Glenn's buddy: Sounds like a plan. Robbie: Yeah, go ahead, have a few drinks and, you know, drive home.
[after Katie issues several insults to Henry in Spanish, he responds in the same language] Katie Saldano: I didn't know you speak Spanish. Henry Creedlow: I'm full of surprises.
[Joe is trading insults with a photographer] Joey: You know what you are - you're an ass-half... Takes two of you to make an ass-whole.
The cruelest thing that has happened to Lincoln since being shot by Booth was to have fallen into the hands of Carl Sandburg.
Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.
Hey, look - your *girlfriend* is saying something.' Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?
We should be careful of the insults we fling at others, lest they return and land at our feet, newly minted to apply to those who had first coined them.
Mousedung!
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