[When their son leaves home and moves into an apartment]
Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle:
You did what?
Michael Kyle:
Actually, I didn't do anything. He said he wanted to leave, so I said goodbye.
Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle:
No, no, no, I know you better than that, Michael. You didn't just say fine, did you?
Michael Kyle:
Well, actually I said "so long, see ya sucker, bon voyage, arrivederci, later loser, goodbye, good riddance, peace out, let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya, don't come back around here no more, hasta la vista baby, kick rocks, and get the hell out," like that.
Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle:
Do you mean to tell me that you told MY SON "so long, see ya sucker, bon voyage, arrivederci, later loser, goodbye, good riddance, peace out, let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya, don't come back around here no more, hasta la vista, and get the hell out" - to MY BABY.
Michael Kyle:
No, actually I said "so long, see ya sucker, bon voyage, arrivederci, later loser, goodbye, good riddance, peace out, let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya, don't come back around here no more, hasta la vista baby, KICK ROCKS, (pauses) and get the hell out. You forgot the "kick rocks." That's really important.
Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle:
Michael, How did he react when you said "so long, see ya sucker, bon voyage, arrivederci, later loser, goodbye, good riddance, peace out, let the doorknob hit ya where the good Lord split ya, don't come back around here no more, KICK ROCKS, and get the hell out?"
Michael Kyle:
Actually, you left out the "hasta la vista"...
Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle:
Oh, Michael. Don't say it, again. [makes a diving motion]
Janet 'Jay' Marie Kyle:
I'm on edge, I swear.
Jimmer Negamanee:
Shay, Reubensh.
Rueben Soady:
Yea?
Jimmer Negamanee:
Shince you ain't sherving shashties, I'd sure shike shome of those sherman shlapjakcs. [laughs]
Jimmer Negamanee:
I could eat shlapjacks every day of the weeksh, eh.
Rueben Soady:
Oh, I know you could, Jimmer.
Remnar Soady:
No, not flapjacks.
Jimmer Negamanee:
Ya'll don't like the shlapjacks?
Remnar Soady:
Macaroni and cheese, tank you very much.
Albert Soady:
With spam.
Remnar Soady:
With spam.
Jimmer Negamanee:
How'sh about shlapjacks with spam?
Rueben Soady:
Uh, fellas.
Albert Soady:
J-just spam for me.
Remnar Soady:
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
Rueben Soady:
No flapjacks, no macaroni and cheese, and no spam.
Albert Soady:
No spam?
Rueben Soady:
Boys you are not only going to eat like kings, but that 2o bucks you was going to throw into the kiddie for pasties, keep it. I am about to feed the whole camp for all week for absolutely free.
Jim's Dad:
Musilage is dangerous territory, and uhh, I would think any adhesive product would have a warning right on the tube.
Jim:
I thought it was a, uhh, a lubricant. Ok, i was trying to use lubricant.
Jim's Dad:
Oh... oh...
Wheelchair Lady:
**looking at Pussy Palace** Son, couldn;t you have left that disgusting thing at home?
Jim's Dad:
Excuse me?
Wheelchair Lady:
Well, that kind of material is offensive to me.
Jim's Dad:
Ohh, well we're sorry, but uh, but you see my son COULDN'T leave it at home because uhh, he's having a bit of a MEDICAL EMERGENCY?
Jim:
That's right. Thanks Dad.
Jim's Dad:
Your opinion of his taste in video rentals is no a priority lady. Ok? It's at the bottom of the totem pole. My son is sitting here right now with his hand glued to his penis, but that doesn't mean anything to you does it? Because you dont have a penis. Or maybe you do?
Bob Munro:
Yo, my mobile-homeboys, what's trippin' in the wood?
Hip Hop Wannabe:
This termite belong to you?
Bob Munro:
Yo, my man said...
Carl Munro:
[gets mad] Don't call him...
Bob Munro:
[restraints Carl] Easy! This my man C, he small but ferocious, but you dogs, you hardcore, where you from?
Hip Hop Wannabe:
Scottsdale!
Bob Munro:
Scottsdale! In the zoner, ya'll that's a hardcore hood, but you want take on my man C here, go ahead because you know, he's fierce, he gonna come up in your face he gonna major damage you, you gonna walk away maybe limp but I say talk to the hand, call waiting, 'cause he's out, boy is ou... I can't restrains him 'cause I'm conversatin' you right now to give him a chance to cool down, to get back to a realistic level, as it were because we could be chillin' in our crib, not just on this mobile home thing, representing Malibu, and Westwood, you know. Mallin' it like we all can, boys to mensh, pimp my Mercedes, call me back, put you on hold, you know what I'm sayin'?
Hip Hop Wannabe:
Er... we gotta go. [leaves]
Bob Munro:
Mm-hmm, you better, man, don't make me call my lawyer, 'cause I'll audit!
[Karl has given Sarah a lift home after the Christmas party. They are standing on her doorstep]
Karl:
Well, I-I'd better go.
Sarah:
Okay.
Karl:
Goodnight.
Sarah:
Goodnight. [he gives her a quick peck on the cheek, then they begin to kiss passionately]
Karl:
Actually, I don't *have* to go.
Sarah:
Right. Good.
Karl:
I mean...
Sarah:
No-no that's good. Just, um, would you excuse me for one second? Just...
Karl:
Sure. [she moves round the corner, out of sight of Karl, dances a little jig for joy, then returns]
Sarah:
Um, okay, that's done. Um, why don't you come upstairs in about ten seconds.
Christian:
Look, if there's a problem, I could come back.
Elder Aaron Davis:
Look, maybe I'm just homesick.
Christian:
Homesick? For Idaho?
Elder Aaron Davis:
Okay, fine, but...
Christian:
I'm sorry, that came out wrong. I'm... It's just... When I left home, it was just 'zoom', like a rocket. But if you've never been away from home before... Have you?
Elder Aaron Davis:
What? I've been away from home, just not for two whole years.
Christian:
[in an English accent] 'Could be worse, could be raining.'
Elder Aaron Davis:
That's Young Frankenstein.
Christian:
Yeah. So two years, huh?
Elder Aaron Davis:
Yeah. We're not allowed to call or go home in the holidays and they're not allowed to visit.
Christian:
Wow, where do I sign up?
Elder Aaron Davis:
Hey. Happen to like my family. 'After all, a boy's best friend is his mother.'
Christian:
[confused for a while, then gets it] Psycho, that's Psycho, right? 'She goes a bit mad sometimes. We all go a bit mad sometimes.' [Aaron laughs]
Christian:
Least you got your friends here, right?
Elder Aaron Davis:
What, Ryder? No. We just got assigned to each other a few weeks ago.
Christian:
Oh. Well, better you than me.
Senior Ed Bloom:
I don't know if you're aware of this, Josephine, but African parrots, in their native home of the Congo, they speak only French.
Josephine:
Really?
Senior Ed Bloom:
You're lucky to get four words out of them in English, but if you were to walk through the jungle, you'd hear them speaking the most elaborate French. Those parrots talk about everything. Politics, movies, fashion. Everything but religion.
Will Bloom:
Why not religion, Dad?
Senior Ed Bloom:
It's rude to talk about religion. You never know who you're gonna offend.
Will Bloom:
Josephine actually went to the Congo last year.
Senior Ed Bloom:
Oh, so you know.
Donald 'Shadow' Rimgale:
So stop me if I got this wrong. Now the fire is almost out, you're upstairs on the unburned floor checking for heat, is that correct? And you've been told by your Battalion Chief, your Captain and by me not to do nothin', right? Not to do nothin' until ordered. That's correct, right?
Candidate:
Yes, sir.
Donald 'Shadow' Rimgale:
Ok. But now the itch starts. The 'Glory Boy' flash starts. 'Hey, I'm a hero. Heroes don't just stand around.' You can tell me, that's what it was, wasn't it?
Candidate:
Yes, sir.
Donald 'Shadow' Rimgale:
So you punched out a window for ventilation. Was that before or after you noticed you were standing in a lake of gasoline? [shouting]
Donald 'Shadow' Rimgale:
Was that BEFORE OR AFTER you noticed you were standing in a lake of GASOLINE, YOU IDIOT?
Candidate:
Before, sir.
Donald 'Shadow' Rimgale:
You could have burned or killed or crispened half that company! To say nothing of the fact that you wrecked the physical evidence that I use to prove that it's arson, and you know how goddamned hard it is to determine the cause of these fires! Now you go home and you think about that!
Conrad 'Connie' Brean:
Would you go to war to do that?
CIA Agent Mr. Young:
I have.
Conrad 'Connie' Brean:
Well, I have, too. Would you do it again...? Isn't that why you're here? I guess so. And if you go to war again, who is it going to be against? Your "ability to fight a Two-ocean War" against who? Sweden and Togo? Who you sitting here to Go To War Against? That time has passed. It's passed. It's over. The war of the future is nuclear terrorism. It is and it will be against a small group of dissidents who, unbeknownst, perhaps, to their own governments, have blah blah blah. And to go to that war, you've got to be prepared. You have to be alert, and the public has to be alert. Cause that is the war of the future, and if you're not gearing up, to fight that war, eventually the axe will fall. And you're gonna be out in the street. And you can call this a "drill," or you can call it "job security," or you can call it anything you like. But I got one for you: you said, "Go to war to protect your Way of Life," well, Chuck, this is your way of life. Isn't it? And if there ain't no war, then you, my friend, can go home and prematurely take up golf. Because there ain't no war but ours.
Aristotle:
Although an inferior race, the Persians control at least four fifths of the known world. But, is it possible that the source of Egypt's mighty river Nile could rise in these distant mountains of the outer Earth? If so, an experienced navigator could find his way here, by this river, east, down into the great plains of India, out into the eastern ocean and end of the world, and by this route, up the Nile, back to Egypt, into the Middle Sea and home to Greece.
Captain Severance:
Look, I've had to make a few other changes. I'm promoting you, to platoon sergeant.
Mike Strank:
Thank you, sir. I appreciate it.
Captain Severance:
You bet.
Mike Strank:
The trouble is, I already told my men I'd see them through this.
Captain Severance:
That your James Cagney impersonation? 'Cause I've heard better.
Mike Strank:
Well, I'll keep practicing, then.
Captain Severance:
Look, this isn't your first time through this. You don't need to prove anything.
Mike Strank:
No, sir.
Captain Severance:
You're not the *best* sergeant I've ever had, just the best one that's still walking. Block's a good man.
Mike Strank:
Yes, sir, he is.
Captain Severance:
The men know him, he can step right in. You know, I have actually thought this through. Platoon sergeant puts you further away from the bullets.
Mike Strank:
I already gave them my word, sir. I told them I'd bring them all home to their mothers, which means I already lied to half of them. Can't lie to the rest.
Hooper:
For years in this industry, whenever an African American character, hero or villain, was introduced - usually by *white* artists and writers - they got slapped with racist names that singled them out as Negroes. Now, my book, "White-Hatin' Coon," don't have none of that bullshit. The hero's name is Maleekwa, and he's a descendant from the black tribe that established the first society on the planet, while all you European motherfuckers were still hiding in caves and shit, all terrified of the sun. He's a strong role model that a young black reader can look up to. 'Cause I'm here to tell you, the chickens is coming home to roost, y'all. The black man's no longer gonna play the minstrel in the medium of comics and sci-fi fantasy. We keepin' it real, and we gonna get respect by any means necessary.
Holden:
Ah, come on, that's a bunch of horse shit! Lando Calrissian was a black guy. You know. He got to fly the Millennium Falcon, what's the matter with you?
Hooper:
Who said that?
Holden:
I did! Lando Calrissian is a positive role-model in the realm of science-fiction/fantasy.
Hooper:
Fuck Lando Calrissian! Uncle Tom nigger!
Millie:
Sam, what's going on here with George?
Sam:
Oh, it's nothing bad. It's just a joke.
Millie:
What kind of joke?
Sam:
Well, we are planning on stripping him, throwing him in the river, and then we are gonna make him run home naked. We have a plan and it involves a dare.
Millie:
A dare?
Sam:
Yeah. See, the only reason I didn't tell you before... [Sam gets interrupted by Millie]
Millie:
Who said I wanted to be a part of this?
Sam:
What about this? [Sam snaps his fingers]
Millie:
What's that?
Sam:
If you could snap your fingers right now, and he would drop dead in his tracks, would you do it?
Millie:
It's totally mean, Sam.
Sam:
He's mean.
Millie:
He's a stupid fat kid. He's got problems, but he's obviously... Promise me you won't do anything to him.
Sam:
It's not just me.
Millie:
Promise me or I go back to the car.
Sam:
All right, I promise. I'll tell Rocky.
