Russell Franklin:
Hey, an AGA mask! Did some wreck diving in one of these off the coast of Spain. Tourist thing, you know. You like wreck diving?
Carter Blake:
It's okay.
Russell Franklin:
Come on, I bet you're really good at it!
Carter Blake:
We're on the water. Whole cat-and-mouse thing don't float. You're the man, right?
Russell Franklin:
Yeah. Yeah, I'm the man.
Carter Blake:
Well, the man's always got a file. What's it say?
Russell Franklin:
Two years, Leavenworth, smuggling.
Carter Blake:
How'd you make your money? You're the first rich guy in history who's squeaky-clean?
Russell Franklin:
You do understand my concern, right?
Carter Blake:
Look, I got a workable deal here. I don't make waves, I meet the terms of my parole. I'm not out to change the world like the doc, and I'm not out to wreck it either.
Dr. Schreber:
I call them the Strangers. They abducted us and brought us here. This city, everyone in it... is their experiment. They mix and match our memories as they see fit, trying to divine what makes us unique. One day, a man might be an inspector. The next, someone entirely different. When they want to study a murderer, for instance, they simply imprint one of their citizens with a new personality. Arrange a family for him, friends, an entire history... even a lost wallet. Then they observe the results. Will a man, given the history of a killer, continue in that vein? Or are we, in fact, more than the sum of our memories?
[first lines]
Al Bernstein:
Welcome back, everybody, to the 1997 World Series of Poker, where Stu "The Kid" Ungar is attempting to make one of the greatest comebacks in poker history, by winning the no-limit Texas Hold'em Championship a record third time.
Andrew N.S. Glazer:
And Al, the amazing thing about this is, that Stuey would be achieving that feat after sixteen years of personal struggle, where victories were really few and far between.
Al Bernstein:
And standing between Stuey and history is John Stremp, a local casino executive who's shown remarkable fortitude, actually, in making it to this point. And here it is, Stu is raising enough to put Stremp all in.
Andrew N.S. Glazer:
This could be it, Al. If Stremp wins, it'll change the tide of the tournament. If Stuey wins, he's got the championship again after sixteen long years.
Lt. Aldo Raine:
You know, where I'm from...
Col. Hans Landa:
Yeah, where is that, exactly?
Lt. Aldo Raine:
Maynardville, Tennessee. [pause]
Lt. Aldo Raine:
Up 'ere, when you engage in what the federal government calls "illegal activity" but what we call "a man tryin' to make a livin' for his family sellin' moonshine liquor," it behooves oneself to keep his wits. Long story short, we hear a story too good to be true... it ain't.
Col. Hans Landa:
Sitting in your chair, I would probably say the same thing. And 999 point 999 times out of a million, you would be correct. But in the pages of history, every once in a while, fate reaches out and extends its hand. [pause]
Col. Hans Landa:
What shall the history books read?
Spirit:
The story that I want to tell you cannot be found in a book. They say that the history of the west was written from the saddle of a horse, but it's never been told from the heart of one. Not till now. I was born here, in this place that would come to be called the Old West. But, to my kind, the land was ageless. It had no beginning and no end, no boundary between earth and sky. Like the wind and the buffalo, we belonged here, we would always belong here. They say the mustang is the spirit of the West. Whether that west was won or lost in the end, you'll have to decide for yourself, but the story I want to tell you is true. I was there and I remember. I remember the sun, the sky, and the wind calling my name in a time when we ran free. I'll never forget the sound and the feeling of running together. The hoof beats were many, but our hearts were one."
Sen. Ralph Owen Brewster:
All right, let's get down to business. Let's talk turkey. My investigation... [He nearly bursts into laughter]
Sen. Ralph Owen Brewster:
My investigation has turned up a lot of dirt. It could be really embarassing if this stuff got out. I'd like to save you from that embarassment.
Howard Hughes:
That's very kind of you, Owen.
Sen. Ralph Owen Brewster:
My committee has the power to hold public hearings. I'd like to spare you from that.
Howard Hughes:
[smirks] Would you, now? [Brewster abruptly drops his silverware]
Sen. Ralph Owen Brewster:
Look, do you wanna go down in history as a war profiteer, Howard? Is that what you want?
Howard Hughes:
[gravely] What do you want, Owen?
Sen. Ralph Owen Brewster:
You agree to support my C.A.B. bill, and I won't hold public hearings.
Howard Hughes:
I can't do that, Owen. Can't do that. The C.A.B. bill would kill TWA.
Sen. Ralph Owen Brewster:
Sell T.W.A. to Pan Am. You'll get a good price. You'll get a fair price, I'm telling you.
Howard Hughes:
And then...? Then you won't go public?
Sen. Ralph Owen Brewster:
Right. That's right. The investigation's closed. Nobody knows a thing. It's better for everybody. [pause]
Howard Hughes:
You know, Owen, I'm still wondering one thing. The picture of the llama you got last year. Where'd you sail from?
Sen. Ralph Owen Brewster:
[disinterested] We didn't sail. We flew.
Howard Hughes:
You flew?
Sen. Ralph Owen Brewster:
Yeah.
Howard Hughes:
Ah.
Sen. Ralph Owen Brewster:
[Brewster stops chewing abruptly, realizing what Howard's implying]
Howard Hughes:
[leans in] Are you sure you want to do this, Owen? You want to go to war with me?
Sen. Ralph Owen Brewster:
It isn't me, Howard. It's the United States government. We just beat Germany and Japan. Who the hell are you?
[during their peyote trip in the desert]
Jim Morrison:
Close your eyes. We'll see the snake; see the serpent appear. His head is ten feet long and five feet wide. He has one red eye and one green eye. He's seven miles long. Deadly. I see all the history of the world on his scales, all people, all actions. We're all just little pictures on his scales. God, he's big, he's moving, devouring consciousness, digesting power. Monster of energy. It's a monster. We're going to kiss the snake on the tongue. Kiss the serpent. But if it senses fear, it'll eat us instantly. But if we kiss it without fear, it'll take us through the garden, through the gate, to the other side. Ride the snake... until the end of time.
John:
I think I'm fucked up, man. I'm not thinking right. [Jim tilts his head back and laughs lazily]
John:
Look at your eyes, man... your death.
[first lines]
Narrator:
I shall tell you of William Wallace. Historians from England will say I am a liar, but history is written by those who have hanged heroes. The king of Scotland had died without a son, and the king of England, a cruel pagan known as Edward the Longshanks, claimed the throne of Scotland for himself. Scotland's nobles fought him, and fought each other, over the crown. So Longshanks invited them to talks of truce - no weapons, one page only. Among the farmers of that shire was Malcolm Wallace, a commoner with his own lands; he had two sons, John and William.
Malcolm Wallace:
I told ye to stay.
Young William:
Well, I finished my work. Where're we goin'?
Malcolm Wallace:
McAndrews'. He was supposed to visit when the gatherin' was over.
Young William:
Can I come?
Malcolm Wallace:
No! Go home, boy.
Young William:
But I want to go.
Malcolm Wallace:
Go home, William, or you'll feel the back o' my hand.
Steven Spielberg:
So, Austin, what did you think of the opening credits?
Austin Powers:
Well, I can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg, the grooviest film maker in the history of cinema, is making a movie about my life. Very Shagadelic, baby, yeah. [laughs]
Austin Powers:
Having said that, I do have some thoughts.
Steven Spielberg:
[holding an Oscar] Really? Well, my friend here thinks it's fine the way it is.
Austin Powers:
Well, no offense, Sir Stevie, but you gotta have mojo babe, yeah. Hit it.
Josh:
You know Stein, why don't you cut yourself a break. It's obviously not the time to be meeting someone anyway.
Jessica:
[sarcastically] Really? What? Not the season?
Josh:
No. It's just because you're clearly not open to it.
Jessica:
[laughs] Excuse me? I'm sorry. How would you know?
Josh:
Well, I do have a little history to draw from. But even if I didn't, you've known Charles here for about an hour and in that time you've dismissed a panoply of men based on factors as reductive as a linguistic misstep, a different view from yours on going dutch, a kind reaction to your legendary lateness, and a genuine interest in yoga. You know, I think it was Anais Nin who said, "We don't see things as they are. We see things as we are." [chuckles]
Josh:
Generally I'm not much of a Nin fan, but I do feel that bit sums you up to a "T", Stein. So I don't think the problem's with these poor men, these freaks and morons, as you put it. I think the problem is with you.
Stanley Cunningham:
Philadelphia is one of the oldest cities in this country. A lot of generations have lived here and died here. Almost any place you go in this city has a history and a story behind it. Even this school and the grounds it sits on. Can anyone guess what this building was used for a hundred years ago, before you went to this school, before I went to this school? Yes, Cole?
Cole Sear:
They used to hang people here.
Stanley Cunningham:
No, uh, that, mm-mm, that's not correct. Uh, where'd you hear that?
Cole Sear:
They'd pull the people in, crying and kissing their families 'bye. People watching would spit at them.
Stanley Cunningham:
Uh, Cole, this, this building was a legal courthouse. Laws were passed here. Some of the very first laws of this country. This whole building was full of, uh, lawyers, uh, lawmakers.
Cole Sear:
They were the ones that hanged everybody.
Garfield:
Careful. That's high-quality American cardboard you're tossing around in there. Beautiful, fellas. Hang the plasma over the slip-and-slide.
Winston:
Sire, a word?
Garfield:
Jowls, my lad. Guess what your enlightened, all-powerful ruler has brought to the castle.
Preston:
Oh, I can't wait to hear this.
Winston:
Don't tell me, a Renaissance painting.
Garfield:
Foosball, you know, foosball.
Winston:
Fo-fo-fo-foosball?
Preston:
What do you think this is, a pub?
Garfield:
Just because we don't have opposable thumbs, doesn't mean we don't play bargains.
Winston:
Yes sire, but I feel your life is in danger.
Garfield:
Listen, Winnebago, if I may call you that. When history speaks of me, and she will, I wanna be remembered as the Party Prince.
Winston:
As you wish.
Sid:
You want subversion on a massive level. You know what one of the greatest fucking scripts ever written in the history of Hollywood is? Top Gun.
Duane:
Oh, come on.
Sid:
Top Gun is fucking great. What is Top Gun? You think it's a story about a bunch of fighter pilots.
Duane:
It's about a bunch of guys waving their dicks around.
Sid:
It is a story about a man's struggle with his own homosexuality. It is! That is what Top Gun is about, man. You've got Maverick, all right? He's on the edge, man. He's right on the fucking line, all right? And you've got Iceman, and all his crew. They're gay, they represent the gay man, all right? And they're saying, go, go the gay way, go the gay way. He could go both ways.
Duane:
What about Kelly McGillis?
Sid:
Kelly McGillis, she's heterosexuality. She's saying: no, no, no, no, no, no, go the normal way, play by the rules, go the normal way. They're saying no, go the gay way, be the gay way, go for the gay way, all right? That is what's going on throughout that whole movie... He goes to her house, all right? It looks like they're going to have sex, you know, they're just kind of sitting back, he's takin' a shower and everything. They don't have sex. He gets on the motorcycle, drives away. She's like, "What the fuck, what the fuck is going on here?" Next scene, next scene you see her, she's in the elevator, she is dressed like a guy. She's got the cap on, she's got the aviator glasses, she's wearing the same jacket that the Iceman wears. She is, okay, this is how I gotta get this guy, this guy's going towards the gay way, I gotta bring him back, I gotta bring him back from the gay way, so I'll do that through subterfuge, I'm gonna dress like a man. All right? That is how she approaches it. Okay, now let me just ask you - I'm gonna digress for two seconds here. I met this girl Amy here, she's like floating around here and everything. Now, she just got divorced, right? All right, but the REAL ending of the movie is when they fight the MIGs at the end, all right? Because he has passed over into the gay way. They are this gay fighting fucking force, all right? And they're beating the Russians, the gays are beating the Russians. And it's over, and they fucking land, and Iceman's been trying to get Maverick the entire time, and finally, he's got him, all right? And what is the last fucking line that they have together? They're all hugging and kissing and happy with each other, and Ice comes up to Maverick, and he says, "Man, you can ride my tail, anytime!" And what does Maverick say? "You can ride mine!" Swordfight! Swordfight! Fuckin' A, man!
