Linus Van Pelt: You'd either be the hero, or a goat. Snoopy: Baaaaaaa!
Donald 'Shadow' Rimgale: So stop me if I got this wrong. Now the fire is almost out, you're upstairs on the unburned floor checking for heat, is that correct? And you've been told by your Battalion Chief, your Captain and by me not to do nothin', right? Not to do nothin' until ordered. That's correct, right? Candidate: Yes, sir. Donald 'Shadow' Rimgale: Ok. But now the itch starts. The 'Glory Boy' flash starts. 'Hey, I'm a hero. Heroes don't just stand around.' You can tell me, that's what it was, wasn't it? Candidate: Yes, sir. Donald 'Shadow' Rimgale: So you punched out a window for ventilation. Was that before or after you noticed you were standing in a lake of gasoline? [shouting] Donald 'Shadow' Rimgale: Was that BEFORE OR AFTER you noticed you were standing in a lake of GASOLINE, YOU IDIOT? Candidate: Before, sir. Donald 'Shadow' Rimgale: You could have burned or killed or crispened half that company! To say nothing of the fact that you wrecked the physical evidence that I use to prove that it's arson, and you know how goddamned hard it is to determine the cause of these fires! Now you go home and you think about that!
Edwina "Eddie" Franklin: I thought this was a professional basketball team. Obviously, I'm out of my mind. I'm in here with rap artists and pitchmen. Do you remember that people pay to come and see you guys? People spent $2,000 on season tickets up in the nosebleed sections because they think you guys are worthwhile. And what about the little kids? Oh, forget about them, huh? The little kids who actually think you guys are heroes -- stupid them! (Eddie walks out of the locker room.) Darren Taylor: $2,000 for some season tickets? That makes you think. Stacy Patton: Yeah, home girl has some sorry seats.
Jeff Dunham: So, superheroes date each other? Melvin the Superhero Guy: Yes, and we also date mortals, too. Did you know that Superman once dated Rosie O'Donnell? Jeff Dunham: I did not know that. Melvin the Superhero Guy: Yeah, but he had to quit her because she got too big. Can you imagine flying around Metropolis with a big girl in your arms? Da dada da! Oof! This looks like a job for Slim-Fast!
Moltar: Whoa! Looks like we're movin'! Space Ghost: We ARE moving, Moltar. To America! Moltar: And, uh, why are we doin' that? Space Ghost: Because all the successful superheroes live in America. Moltar: Okay... Space Ghost: It's really the only thing that keeps me from being the next Superman. Moltar: Are you faster than a speeding bullet? Space Ghost: Well... no, but... Moltar: Are you able to leap tall buildings with... Space Ghost: Moltar, that's not the point.
John Bubber: We're all heroes if you catch us at the right moment.
[last lines] James Bradley: I finally came to the conclusion that he maybe he was right. Maybe there's no such thing as heroes. Maybe there are just people like my dad. I finally came to understand why they were so uncomfortable being called heroes. Heroes are something we create, something we need. It's a way for us to understand what's almost incomprehensible, how people could sacrifice so much for us, but for my dad and these men, the risks they took, the wounds they suffered, they did that for their buddies. They may have fought for their country but they died for their friends. For the man in front, for the man beside him, and if we wish to truly honor these men we should remember them the way they really were, the way my dad remembered them.
[the bad guys threaten our heroes with TNT] Kate Houghton: Who has *dynamite*? Daffy Duck: Welcome to *my* world.
Capt. Arthur Butler: Any heroes in here? All: No, sir! Capt. Arthur Butler: Good! Then let's jump!
Commissioner Gordon: Careful. Old heroes bring about old villains.
[the trio talks about recruiting more heroes for the team] The Blue Raja: Well, there's The Sphinx, of course. Mr. Furious: The what? The Blue Raja: The Sphinx. The Shoveller: I know this guy. Big crime-fighter from down South. Big-league hitter down there. Mr. Furious: What's his power? The Blue Raja: Well, he's terribly mysterious. Mr. Furious: [dismissively] That's it? That's his power? He's mysterious? The Blue Raja: Well, TERRIBLY mysterious. The Shoveller: Plus he can, like, cut guns in half with his mind.
Joe Young: Ben, superheroes that pray together stay together. Ben Chapelski: Aw, what the fuck!
Jessica: I've got this thing with superheroes and their powers and I love it and so I come to meet these people so I can sleep with them.
Bubbles: Everybody's going to laugh at us! Blossom: No they won't. Lots of superheroes wear capes. Buttercup: But they don't wear sheets!
Wishbone: Y'know, every so often, even heroes need help!
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