Jack Handey  - Quotes

 I think there probably should be a rule that if you're talking about how many loaves of bread a bullet will go through, it's understood that you mean lengthwise loaves. Otherwise, it makes no sense. 

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Jack Handey  - Quotes

 Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides. 

Tags: handey   patriotic   patriotism     
Jack Handey  - Quotes

 If I could be a bird, I think I'd be a penguin, because then I could walk around on two feet with a lot of other guys like me. 

Tags: handey   humor     




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