Scrabble Man:
Drop the gun, Hallenbeck. [takes Joe's gun and tosses it]
Scrabble Man:
Bit late for a stroll, don't you think?
Joe Hallenbeck:
Yeah, you girls oughta be gettin' home.
Jimmy Dix:
Yeah, streetlights are on.
Jake:
Shut up fuckface.
Joe Hallenbeck:
I'm fuckface, he's asshole. [Jimmy smiles sarcastically, in agreement]
Scrabble Man:
Jake? [Jake punches Joe in the face]
Scrabble Man:
Advise Rodney Dangerfield here of the situation. Perhaps we can dispense with the fun and games now, yes?
Joe Hallenbeck:
You want the envelope, right?
Scrabble Man:
The envelope, very smart. See Jake, here is a man who knows when a situation is untenable.
Joe Hallenbeck:
Good word.
Scrabble Man:
You like that word? And you do have that envelope, don't you?
Joe Hallenbeck:
Better give up, Jimmy. We're dealin' with a couple of geniuses here. [Jake punches Joe in the face]
Jimmy Dix:
Hey man, just leave him the fuck alone. [Jake kicks Jimmy in the groin]
Scrabble Man:
Leave him alone? Yeah, sure Jimmy. Whatever you say. Jake here takes his job with a certain exuberance.
Jimmy Dix:
Shit, we're being beat up by the inventor of scrabble.
Scrabble Man:
He's in a good mood, Jake. Kick 'em again.
Joe Hallenbeck:
All right. You want the envelope the hooker had, right?
Jimmy Dix:
She wasn't a hooker, Joe.
Joe Hallenbeck:
Shut the fuck up.
Dr. Buddy Rydell:
Now then we need to go over some ground rules. You are to refrain from any any acts of violence including verbal assault and vulgar hand gestures. You may not use rage enhancing substances, such as caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, crack cocaine, slippy-flippy's, jelly stingers, trick sticks, bing bangs or flying willards.
Dave Buznik:
How 'bout fiddle-faddels?
Dr. Buddy Rydell:
Under my supervision. Also, if you are unable to stop masterbating please, do so without the use of any pornographic images depicting quote, unquote 'angry sex.' That having been said, I'm a pretty good guy and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised how much fun we can have together.
Dave Buznik:
Geez, without slippy-flippy's or angry masterbating I don't see how that's possible.
Dr. Buddy Rydell:
Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin... from now on, unacceptable.
[Casper sitting on his old sled, takes his baseball cap off]
Casper:
I begged and begged my dad to give me this sled, but he acted like I couldn't even have it, because I didn't know how to ride it. But then one morning, I came down for breakfast and there it was, just for me, for no reason at all. I took it out, went sledding all day. And my dad said "that's enough" but I couldn't stop, I was having so much fun It got late, got dark, got cold...and I got sick, and my dad got sad.
Kat:
What's it like to die?
Casper:
Like... being born, only backwards. I remember, I didn't go where I was supposed to go. I just stayed behind, so my dad wouldn't be lonely.
Melanie Lewis:
[to Ryan] Do you dance?
Grandpa Randolph:
Of course he does.
Melanie Lewis:
You know, tangos and waltzes?
Ryan Flynn:
Of course not. I'm a guy?
Melanie Lewis:
Oh, lame-o excuse!
Grandpa Randolph:
[starts singing and dancing with Melanie] Dancing is the most exhilarating, glorificating, fantazilating. Just let your toes go tapping heels kerplanking. It's the essence of life. And if you think you are too fancy, too grandiancy, just let your feet explore the floor. They'll know the layout, forget yourself and play out. 'Cause there is no substitute. And now for the romp-stompinest, skip-alonginest kind of fun around. Heck, it's the essence of... Heck, it's the essence of...
Melanie Lewis:
Life!
Grandpa Randolph:
Life.
Melanie Lewis:
What do you say Ryan?
Ryan Flynn:
I guess.
Melanie Lewis:
[exhilarated] WHOO!
RJ:
Vincent, wait! I can get it all back! That's right. If you eat me, you'd have to do it. But I can get it, all of it.
Vincent:
My red wagon?
RJ:
Redder!
Vincent:
The blue cooler?
RJ:
Blue cooler. On my list! Gotta be blue?
Vincent:
Yes! And I want my Spuddies. I love those things. 'Cause with a Spuddie, enough just isn't enough.
RJ:
So true. Painfully true. And I'll tell you what. I'm gonna get you the giant picnic pack, family-fun size.
Vincent:
They have that?
RJ:
I'm pretty sure.
Vincent:
All right, R.J. I'm going back to sleep. When that moon is full, I'm waking up, and all my stuff had better be right back where it was.
RJ:
But that's just one week! That's impossible for one guy! [Vincent squeezes on RJ's head]
RJ:
A week's perfect. I'll get some helpers.
Vincent:
Full moon, all my stuff. And don't even think about running away, because if you do, I will hunt you down and kill you.
Kevin Brown/K:
You're standing between me and my memories, pal. Now you have this deneuralyzer thing or not?
Jeebs:
Mmm, no. Fresh out. [J and K stare at him]
Jeebs:
Can't help you. [They continue staring]
Jeebs:
Don't got it... [J and K continue to stare. Jeebs cracks]
Jeebs:
Even if I did, if it doesn't work, K dies, you blow my head off. If it does work, I brought back K who, just for the fun of it, blows my head off. Sooo, *what's* my incentive? [K raises his gun to Jeebs' head]
Jeebs:
[Weak laugh] Okay homey, I keep it right downstairs next to the snowblower. [K smiles, satisfied, and he and J follow Jeebs]
Gwen:
You see, my son, Kevin, has been called names and made fun of his whole life. When you've been made fun of as much, you find another place to live, and he's found that place up here, in his mind. Kevin lives in a world of books, and words, and things I don't even understand. I do know this: Kevin would trade it all for a chance to be normal, to have a friend, and to do what other kids do. Max Kane has given that chance. [voice cracks]
Gwen:
Well, I'm not going to let that get taken away from my boy.
Castor Troy:
[Both have each other at gun point] Wow. We have something in common. We both know our guns.
Sean Archer:
But what we don't have. Is that I don't care if I live, you do.
Castor Troy:
Hey, that hurts Sean. You know, why don't you join me anyway it's more fun that way you can blow some shit up, it's more fun.
Sean Archer:
Shut the fuck up!
Castor Troy:
You watch your fuckin' mouth! Maybe I should tell you this. I'm about to unleash the biblical plague hell-A deserves.
Sean Archer:
[Not believing what troy is saying] Bullshit.
Castor Troy:
Oh, no? Oh, you think I'm bluffing, oh yeah. Maybe I'm right. Besides, what are you gonna do with me locked up? You'll drive your wife and kid crazy. Oh by the way, how is your daughter, Janie? Well she is, you know... [Making barking noises and pulls the trigger on the gun and realizes that he is out of bullets, and falls to his knees]
Castor Troy:
I'm scared, Sean. Well, I think you better pull the trigger Sean, because I really don;t give a fuck. [singing]
Castor Troy:
Ready, ready for the big ride, baby!
