Longshanks: What news of the North? Prince Edward: Nothing new, Your Majesty. We've sent riders to speed any word. Longshanks: I heard the word in France where I was fighting to expand your future kingdom. The word, my son, is that our entire Northern Army is *annihilated*.
[first title cards] Title card: It is almost 100 years since Christian armies from Europe seized Jerusalem. Title card: Europe suffers in the grip of repression and poverty. Peasant and lord alike flee to the Holy Land in search of fortune or salvation. Title card: One Knight returns home in search of his son. Title card: France 1184
George: Now everybody in the 202, throw your hands in the air 'cause Fat Joe is through / Now everybody in the 202, throw 'em up! Check it out / I'm a white boy, but my neck is red / I put Miracle Whip on my Wonder Bread / My face is pale, nah, I've never been in jail / Me and Buffy spend every winter at Vail / How many bitches have I slapped? Zero. Unh! / And Martha Stewart happens to be my hero / I grew up on a farm and I was born with no rhythm / Dr. Phil's my uncle and I like to hang with him / I can't dance / I wear khaki pants / My middle name's Lance / My Grandma's from France / So maybe I'm wack / 'Cause my skin ain't black / But you can't talk smack / 'Cause whitey just struck back
Sir Thomas Boleyn: [regarding the punishment for Anne's secret marriage] You will be sent to France and stay there until you've learned your lesson. Anne Boleyn: What? No! Father, please! Sir Thomas Boleyn: How can you have done this? You knew full well that Mary's friendship with the king is at an extremely delicate state! Any scandal, any mark upon her name could be fatal! The Duke of Norfolk: You will be sent to join the court of the French queen and stay there until your father has forgiven you. Anne Boleyn: [crying, runs into the hall where Mary is waiting] You told them didn't you? Mary Boleyn: It was for your own good. You never would have gotten away with it. It would have ruined your prospects forever. Anne Boleyn: [still crying] Really? For my good? Well, I'll try to remind myself of that while I'm in exile, and you're here in the king's bed, not challenged for our father's affection! That it was for my good and not yours! [running down the hall, leaving Mary] Mary Boleyn: Anne!
Billie: [looking at her plate of escargot in a fancy restaurant] So somebody went all the way to France for this?
Monica: What about friends of your grandmother's? Wouldn't they have the recipe? Phoebe: Well, you know I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, [trying to pronounce her name in French] Phoebe: Nestlé Toulouse. Monica: What was her name? Phoebe: [again trying to pronounce it in French] Nestlé Toulehouse. Monica: Nestle Toll House? Phoebe: Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language.
Colette: Horst has done time. Linguini: What for? Colette: No one know for sure. He changes the story every time you ask him. Horst: I defrauded a major corporation. Horst: I robbed the second-largest bank in France using only a ball-point pen. Horst: I created a hole in the ozone layer over Avignon. Horst: I killed a man... with this thumb.
Jason Carson: [about Rene] So, do you think anyone in France actually misses him?
Lady Elizabeth: Now go to France. The queen of France is sophisticated. Be useful to her, amuse her. She'll admire your spirit. Learn from her. Observe the ladies of the court. See how they achieve what they want from their men, not by stamping their little feet but by allowing the men to believe that they, indeed, are in charge. That is the art of being a woman.
[overhearing the destruction of France via telephone] President Dale: ...Mon dieu...
Anthea: Oh my gosh, I've got wings! Jane: So soft, so white... Cyril: The little - He must've made a wish! He's out of control. I don't know how I'm gonna cut it. What am I gonna tell Mum? Look at you! Robert: Cyril! Cyril: You've done it again. What were you thinking? Robert: I'm going to France to see Dad! Cyril: France? Robert: His letter said he wished he could fly to see us. He can't, but we can fly to him. Come on! Cyril: Robert, wait!
Henry: Audrey, could I come along to lunch? I would love to meet the man who wrote "Ants in France Wear Pants When They Dance." Audrey: Good, because I'd love to drink and drink 'til I can't think.
Veronica Franco: You sleep with Giulia every night for duty's sake. I slept with the King of France once for duty's sake. Who does not forgive? Marco Venier: Perhaps I just can't live with it. Veronica Franco: But I love you.
King's Advisor: Milord, the princess might be taken hostage or her life be put in jeopardy. Longshanks: Oh, my son would be most distressed by that. Uh, but in truth, if she were to be killed, we would soon find the king of France a useful ally against the Scots. You see, as king, you must find the good in any situation.
Toughwood: France is scary!
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