Ross Giggins:
Turning now to sports... [Cindy types new text for the teleprompter]
Ross Giggins:
and an evil video tape that kills anyone who watches it in seven days. It's true. We're all in danger. There's an alien force that's trying prevent you from knowing the truth.
Carson Ward:
Oh, no. Campbell, are you insane?
Ross Giggins:
It's a horrible fate.
Cindy:
Carson, I have to do this. [Ward types his text]
Ross Giggins:
Correction, there really is no danger. Actually, I didn't really mean anything I just said. Yes, I did. Every word of it. Everyone watching this could be dead in a week. [everybody's fighting over the telemprompter keyboard, the janitor sits on it]
Ross Giggins:
Oh, shizl gzngahr, % + 7, , 193419 ckin etd vaus erstn gubl chn q shnitzi guorsn blkn (, , 18 469 [Janitor takes over the keyboard]
Ross Giggins:
I been cleanin' after this dumb-ass cracker Giggins for ten years, but I been hittin' it with his woman for twelve. Know what I'm sayin', nigga? She likes her some chocolate. Sharpton for President y'all. I'm outie.
David:
Dennis, can I just say one last thing about Mars? - which may be strange coming from a Science-Fiction writer - But right now, you and me here, put together entirely of atoms, sitting on this round rock with a core of liquid iron, held down by this force that seems to trouble you, called gravity, all the while spinning around the sun at 67,000 miles an hour and whizzing through the milkyway at 600,000 miles an hour in a universe that very well may be chasing its own tail at the speed of light; And admist all this frantic activity, fully cognisant of our own eminent demise - which is our own pretty way of saying we all know we're gonna die - We reach out to one another. Sometimes for the sake of entity, sometimes for reasons you're not old enough to understand yet, but a lot of the time we just reach out and expect nothing in return. Isn't that strange? Isn't that weird? Isn't that weird enough? The heck do ya need to be from Mars for?
Kate:
Sarah, your suspension from lacrosse for excessive force has been lifted, so you're going today.
Sarah Baker:
Yes!
Kate:
Henry, you have band practice, all right? I cleaned your clarinet. Please don't play with food in your mouth again. Kim and Jessica, your teacher called and has made a request that you do not correct her in front of the class. Mike, you have show-and-tell today. And please, honey, remember that body parts do not count. Kyle and Nigel, you have a dentist's appointment at three o'clock, so you're going to work with Dad.
Nigel Baker, Kyle Baker:
Yeah! [yells]
Tom:
[yells]
Niko's Golf Game:
[Niko hits a golf ball, it lands in a virtual reality golf game screen] 198 yards.
Niko:
[turns to see that Dorian has arrived] Hello, Dorian. Thanks for dropping by.
Dorian Tyrell:
Well, next time why don't you call, alright? Leave these delivery boys at home. [Niko grins at the thugs evilly, they force Dorian to ground, and one of them laughs as the other places a wooden tee in Dorian's mouth. He spits the tee out. One of them takes a gun out and holds it to Dorian's head, the other looks at Niko who nods, then places another tee in Dorian's mouth and puts a golf ball on it]
Niko:
[swings club slowly] The cops, ah... tried to shut the club down this morning. They say you've been running the place to make your own small-time scams. I hear things like that, and I start losing my concentration. And my game, it goes straight to HELL! [pulls the club back for swing]
Niko:
You could, too. [swings and hits the ball]
Dorian Tyrell:
Oh, ow!
Niko's Golf Game:
205 yards.
Niko:
I'm fed up with you, Dorian. But I'm gonna cut you a break. One week to get out of town. [brushing Dorian's cheek with the club]
Niko:
After that, I'll use your empty little skull to break in my new 9-iron. [smacks the club away from his face, lifts Dorian up roughly and escorts him out of office]
Gandalf:
For sixty years, the Ring lay quiet in Bilbo's keeping, prolonging his life, delaying old age. But no longer, Frodo. Evil is stirring in Mordor. The Ring has awoken. It's heard its Master's call.
Frodo:
But he was destroyed. Sauron was destroyed.
Gandalf:
No, Frodo. The spirit of Sauron endured. His life force is bound to the Ring and the Ring survived. Sauron has returned. His Orcs have multiplied. His fortress of Barad-Dur is rebuilt in the land of Mordor. Sauron needs only this Ring to cover all the lands with a second darkness. He is seeking it, seeking it, all his thought is bent on it. The Ring yearns to go home, to return to the hand of its Master. They are one, the Ring and the Dark Lord. Frodo, he must never find it.
