King Leo:
You arrive early. My daughter and I welcome you. What news from Normandy?
Jamal:
What news? Well a couple of drive-bys, other than that, same ole same ole.
King Leo:
When will the Duke arrive to take my daughter's hand?
Jamal:
This is a hell of a setup you've got here. I mean, I'm not lyin'. I mean. Wooh! You got to have major coins behind this. Who's backin you, Puffy?
King Leo:
Silence, Moor! Tell me when will the Duke arrive.
Jamal:
Oh, I, I get it. You wanna see if I can improv. Ok, well let's see. Uh. The Duke will arriveth in all his royal pomposity and splendor on Tuesday.
King Leo:
Tuesday! Ha! That is excellent news! Phillip, have the servants supply this messenger with much food and drink. And let him lay with any damsel that he desires, except my daugher, of course. [everyone laughs]
Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter-faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn.
To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living.
Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food. The body, these waterheads imagine, is a temple that should not be polluted by animal protein. It's healthier, they insist, though every vegetarian waiter I've worked with is brought down by any rumor of a cold.
Oh, I'll accomodate them, I'll rummage around for something to feed them, for a 'vegetarian plate', if called on to do so. Fourteen dollars for a few slices of grilled eggplant and zucchini suits my food cost fine.
Leah:
Yo Yo Yiggady Yo.
Juno MacGuff:
I'm at suicide risk.
Leah:
Juno?
Juno MacGuff:
No, it's Morgan Freeman. Do you have any bones that need collecting?
Leah:
Only the one in my pants...
Juno MacGuff:
I'm pregnant.
Leah:
What? Honest to blog?
Juno MacGuff:
Yeah. Yeah, it's Bleekers.
Leah:
It's probably just a food baby. Did you have a big lunch?
Juno MacGuff:
No, this is not a food baby all right? I've taken like three pregnancy tests, and I'm forshizz up the spout.
Leah:
How did you even generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests? That's amazing...
Juno MacGuff:
I don't know, I drank like, ten tons of Sunny D... Anyway dude, I'm telling you I'm pregnant and you're acting shockingly cavalier.
Leah:
Is this for real? Like, for real for real?
Juno MacGuff:
Unfortunately, yes.
Leah:
Oh my GOD. Oh shit! Phuket, Thailand!
Juno MacGuff:
There we go. That was kind of the emotion that I was searching for on the first take.
Kent Mansley:
Your mom's working late tonight, Hogarth, so it's just us guys, and we're gonna have a little chat. Sit down! [shoves Hogarth onto a chair and shines a bright light on him]
Kent Mansley:
How's that? A little too bright? Good. Forgive me, Hogarth. I wanted you to learn something.
Hogarth Hughes:
What can I learn from you?
Kent Mansley:
You can learn this, Hogart. That I can do anything I want, whenever I want if I feel it's in the people's best interest. The giant metal man. Where is it?
Hogarth Hughes:
I don't know what you're talking about.
Kent Mansley:
You don't? Does this ring a bell? [lays down the picture Hogarth took of the aluminum siding he used to lure the Giant]
Kent Mansley:
No? How about this? [lays down the photo Hogarth accidentally took of himself - with the Giant behind him]
Kent Mansley:
You've been careless, Hogarth.
Hogarth Hughes:
It doesn't prove anything.
Kent Mansley:
It's enough to get the army here with one phone call.
Hogarth Hughes:
Then what's stopping you?
Kent Mansley:
[angry] Where's the giant? [Grabs Hogarth by the jaw]
Kent Mansley:
You can't protect him, Hogarth, anymore than you can... protect your mother.
Hogarth Hughes:
My mom?
Kent Mansley:
It's difficult to raise a boy all alone. We can make it more difficult. In fact, we can make it so difficult that it would be irresponsible for us to leave you in her care, and all that that implies. You'll be taken away from her, Hogarth.
Hogarth Hughes:
You can't do that!
Kent Mansley:
Oh, we can, and we will.
Hogarth Hughes:
He's at the junkyard. McCoppin's Scrap off Culver Road.
Kent Mansley:
The junkyard, of course! Food for the metal eater. I wouldn't worry about this, Hogarth. This isn't really happening. It's only... a bad dream. [puts a chloroform rag on Hogarth's mouth, leaving him unconscious]
Food for her is not food, it is terror, dignity, gratitude, vengeance, joyfulness, humiliation, religion, history, and, of course, love. As if the fruit she always offered us were picked from the destroyed brances of out family tree.
Kate:
Sarah, your suspension from lacrosse for excessive force has been lifted, so you're going today.
Sarah Baker:
Yes!
Kate:
Henry, you have band practice, all right? I cleaned your clarinet. Please don't play with food in your mouth again. Kim and Jessica, your teacher called and has made a request that you do not correct her in front of the class. Mike, you have show-and-tell today. And please, honey, remember that body parts do not count. Kyle and Nigel, you have a dentist's appointment at three o'clock, so you're going to work with Dad.
Nigel Baker, Kyle Baker:
Yeah! [yells]
Tom:
[yells]
