Film Quotes and Sayings

Film Quotes Topics

Charlie Kaufman:
We open on Charlie Kaufman. Fat, old, bald, repulsive, sitting in a Hollywood restaurant, across from Valerie Thomas, a lovely, statuesque film executive. Kaufman, trying to get a writing assignment, wanting to impress her, sweats profusely. Fat, bald Kaufman paces furiously in his bedroom. He speaks into his hand held tape recorder, and he says: "Charlie Kaufman. Fat, bald, repulsive, old, sits at a Hollywood restaurant with Valerie Thomas".

[first lines]
Abbey Tyler:
I'm actress Milla Jovovich, and I will be portraying Dr. Abigail Tyler in The Fourth Kind. This film is a dramatization of events that occurred October 1st through the 9th of 2000, in the Northern Alaskan town of Nome. To better explain the events of this story, the director has included actual archived footage throughout the film. This footage was acquired from Nome psychologist Dr. Abigail Tyler, who has personally documented over 65 hours of video and audio materials during the time of the incidents. To better protect their privacy, we have changed the names and professions of many of the people involved. Every dramatized scene in this movie is supported by either archived audio, video or as it was related by Dr. Tyler during extensive interviews with the director. In the end, what you believe is yours to decide. Please be advised, that some of what you're about to see is extremely disturbing.

Tags: People Quotes Age Quotes Film Quotes Heir Quotes People Quotes

Rosalee:
They also said that in first class you may personally view the film of your choice.
Cathy:
All right. I would like to touch intimately the person who thought of that.

Tags: Class Quotes Film Quotes Thought Quotes

Selma:
You like the movies, don't you?
Bill Houston:
I love the movies. I just love the musicals.
Selma:
But isn't it annoying when they do the last song in the films?
Bill Houston:
Why?
Selma:
Because you just know when it goes really big... and the camera goes like out of the roof... and you just know it's going to end. I hate that. I would leave just after the next to last song... and the film would just go on forever.

Tags: Love Quotes Movies Film Quotes Hate Quotes Love Quotes

[a classic Dodgeball instructional film begins]
Uber Film Narrator:
[U.A.I.F fanfare] Uber-American Instructional Films, teaching America's youth since 1938. [Opening; A boy rides a scooter, while a girl jogs behind him. Now we see a young boy painting a fence]
Uber Film Narrator:
Hey there, Timmy!
Timmy:
[yells] Holy mackerel, Mister. You scared the jeepers out of me.
Uber Film Narrator:
How would you like to take a break from that fine lead-based paint... and learn about Dodgeball?
Timmy:
Boy, would I! [the next scene take Timmy into a Opium Dem in China]
Timmy:
Wow! Where am I, Mister?
Uber Film Narrator:
You're in a Chinese Opium Dem, Timmy. This is where the sport of Dodgeball was invented in the 15th Century... by Opium-addictive Chinamen. But back then, the Chinamen threw severed heads at each other, instead of the A.D.A.A.-approved balls we use today.
Timmy:
A.D.A.A.?
Uber Film Narrator:
That's the American Dodgeball Association of America. Dodgeball is played with six players on each team... and six rubber balls. The object of the game is to eliminate the opposing players. Once all the players on team are eliminated, the opposing team wins!
Timmy:
Wow! I can't wait to get the fellas together and play!

Tags: Men Quotes Film Quotes Men Quotes Painting Quotes Teaching Quotes

[after winning a student film competition]
Howard Stern:
I tell you, nothing makes a woman hotter than to be with an award-winning filmmaker.

Tags: Film Quotes Man Quotes Winning Quotes Woman Quotes

The Filmmaker:
Film has the power to stir our emotions and shake our souls. But when you're with the one you love, every moment is like the greatest movie ever made.

Tags: Power Quotes Emotions Quotes Film Quotes Power Quotes

Judy:
I found your tape.
Rodney Miller:
What tape?
Judy:
The one with the two queers uh sodomizing and felating each other's assholes 10 ways 'til Tuesday.
Rodney Miller:
Not my tape.
Judy:
I think it is.
Rodney Miller:
No, ma'am, it's not.
Judy:
Oh, it is, too.
Rodney Miller:
Never seen sodomizing to me my eyes no way.
Judy:
I had all the girls over from Buddies and Bereavement and we were going to watch the Kirk Cameron film and that's what played instead.
Rodney Miller:
Maybe it was Kirk Cameron.

Tags: Film Quotes Girls Quotes Eyes Quotes

Wikus Van De Merwe:
Oh! I haven't shown you a picture of my wife! Here she is, my angel. I tell people she actually looks like an angel, you see here? The white looks like a halo on her head. Can you see that? She's my angel, you're picking that up on your cameras there! They probably won't keep that in the film but...

Tags: People Quotes Film Quotes People Quotes Us Quotes

[first lines]
Narrator:
The film which you are about to see is an account of the tragedy which befell a group of 5 youths. It is all the more tragic in that they were young. But had they lived very, very long lives, they could not have expected, nor would they have wished to see as much of the mad and macabre as they were to see that day. For them, an idyllic summer afternoon became a nightmare. For 30 years, the files collected dust in the cold-cases divison of the Travis County Police Department. Over 1,300 pieces of evidence were collected from the crime scene at the Hewitt residence. Yet none of the evidence was more compelling than the classified police footage of the crime-scene walk-through.
Adams (officer in walkthrough):
Test test test... OK, uh, this is, uh, August 20th, 1973. The time is, uh, 3:47 P.M. Our location is the Hewitt residence on Route 17; it's where victim one was found. We're gonna do a walk-through, and we're now descending the stairs into the furnace room... uh... There's - over here - there's scratch marks along the wall. There's some more over here, right over here. And, oh, there's something over here. Seems... Looks like a clot of hair and an embedded fingernail. All right, we're gonna go move into the actual furnace room.
Narrator:
The events of that day were to lead to one of the most bizarre crimes in the annals of American history - the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Tags: Bizarre Quotes Age Quotes Day Quotes Ending Quotes Film Quotes

Joshua Leonard:
[Looking through Heather's camera] It's not the same on film is it? I mean, you know it's real, but it's like looking through the lens gives you some sort of protection from what's on the other side.

Tags: Film Quotes Protection Quotes

Robert K. Bowfinger:
This film is only for Madagascar and Iran, neither of which follow American copyright law.

Tags: Film Quotes Right Quotes

Steven Spielberg:
So, Austin, what did you think of the opening credits?
Austin Powers:
Well, I can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg, the grooviest film maker in the history of cinema, is making a movie about my life. Very Shagadelic, baby, yeah. [laughs]
Austin Powers:
Having said that, I do have some thoughts.
Steven Spielberg:
[holding an Oscar] Really? Well, my friend here thinks it's fine the way it is.
Austin Powers:
Well, no offense, Sir Stevie, but you gotta have mojo babe, yeah. Hit it.

Tags: Film Quotes History Quotes

Film Class Guy #1:
No way. The first terminator is historical.
Randy:
Yeah... "Sarah Connor" "Yes" [shoots]
Film Class Guy #2:
Alright, alright. "House 2: The second story" [class hits him]
Randy:
The entire Horror genre was destroyed by sequels.
Mickey:
I got it, by the way. I got it. Godfather, Part 2.
Randy:
[as Al Pacino] Thats very Good. Very Good. Thats an Oscar Winning Exception.

Tags: Class Quotes Film Quotes Winning Quotes Art Quotes

Little Bill:
My wife has an ass in her cock in the drive way, all right? I'm sorry if my thoughts are not on the photography of the film we're shooting tomorrow.

Tags: Film Quotes Photography Quotes

Gary Johnston:
We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

Tags: Film Quotes Heir Quotes Us Quotes

Debra:
[voiceover] We made a film - the one I'm going to show you now. Actually, Jason was the one who wanted to make it. Like that cameraman from Channel 10, he wanted to upload it so that people, you, could be told the truth. The film was shot with a Panasonic HDX-900 and an HBX-200. I did the final cut on Jason's laptop. I've added music occasionally for effect, hoping to scare you. You see, in addition to trying to tell you the truth, I am hoping to scare you so that maybe you'll wake up. Maybe you won't make any of the same mistakes that we made. Anyway, here it is, Jason Creed's The Death of Death.

Tags: Death Quotes Film Quotes Man Quotes Mistakes Quotes Music Quotes

Jane:
I don't jump from job to job because of money.
Ally:
[struggling with the camera] Wait, I want to get this.... What is wrong with this thing?...
Jane:
You guys seem to feel the world owes you, that you deserve happiness. My dad worked for twenty-six years in a job he hated, and at fifty, he was laid off, two week's pay and a thank you very much -
Ally:
Wait, Jane!
Jane:
And where did that leave us? A miserable man who became even more bitter, a mother who had to take care of other people's children, and me, knowing that you can never trust any job - will you hand me the sugar? [Georgia does, with a little SLAM]
Jane:
... Any employer, anyone but yourself.
Ally:
[Ally finally gets the camera to film normally again] Shoot... Now say that all again.

Tags: Film Quotes Man Quotes Will Quotes Mother Quotes Trust Quotes

[first title card]
Title Card:
CAMP /kamp/ n. /Slang/ banality, artifice, etc. so extreme as to amuse or have a perversely sophisticated appeal. [second title card]
Title Card:
To enjoy this movie the way it was meant to be experienced... [third title card]
Title Card:
the filmmakers kindly ask you to please feel free to TALK and LAUGH during this performance. [fourth title card]
Title Card:
PLEASE SMILE and TRY NOT TO BE SO SERIOUS. ;> Thank You! [fifth title card]
Title Card:
WARNING: THIS FILM CONTAINS STRONG ADULT LANGUAGE AND GRAPHIC COMIC BOOK VIOLENCE. [sixth title card]
Title Card:
HAVE FUN! [seventh title card]
Title Card:
Loyalty and Faith and Valor
Title Card:
The Code of the Samurai

Tags: Age Quotes Faith Quotes Film Quotes Language Quotes Extreme Quotes

Cecil:
No one gets laid until we've finished our movie. We're horny, but our film comes first!

Tags: Film Quotes

Henry Miller:
All right, I'll tell you. June appeared like an Angel, and I offered her a fool's faith. She was a taxi dancer. I paid my dime, she put her head on my shoulder, but then the lies began. She told me her mother was a gypsy and her father was a count. Later, I saw a film and realized she swiped her whole childhood right out of the film.
AnaÔs Nin:
And so?
Henry Miller:
So I married her.

Tags: Childhood Quotes Film Quotes Lies Quotes Mother Quotes Right Quotes

Narrator:
Tobias listens to a day's worth of his own words, to see what Michael was referring to...
Tobias Fünke:
[on tape] ... even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.
Tobias Fünke:
Nothing wrong with that.
Tobias Fünke:
[on tape] Oh, I've been in the film business for a while, but I just can't seem to get one in the can.
Tobias Fünke:
It's out of context.
Tobias Fünke:
[on tape] I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks.
Narrator:
...and he realized there is something distinct about the way he speaks.
Tobias Fünke:
Tobias, you blowhard. [chuckles]

Tags: Film Quotes Man Quotes Will Quotes Business Quotes Kissing Quotes

Larry Zoolander:
Damnit Derek, I'm a coal miner, not a professional film or television actor.

Tags: Film Quotes Television Quotes Vision Quotes

William:
[about Anna's new film project] Any horses in that one? Or hounds for that matter; our readers are intrigued by both species.
Anna Scott:
[seriously] It takes place on a submarine.

Tags: Film Quotes Horses Quotes

Michael Justice:
[to elderly woman crying at a grave] Excuse me, ma'am. We're actually shooting a film over there and you're in our shot. Could you maybe go cry at one of the other graves?

Tags: Elderly Quotes Film Quotes Man Quotes Woman Quotes

Stanley Goodspeed:
Why didn't you just tell them were the microfilm was and create a solution?
John Mason:
The moment they had the microfilm, they'd suicide me. Some solution.

Tags: Film Quotes Suicide Quotes

[last lines]
Carmine Sabatini:
When you finish film school, I'd like to call you, because I know a lot of people in Hollywood.
Clark Kellogg:
Oh, really?
Carmine Sabatini:
Yeah. I could kick a couple of doors open for you.
Clark Kellogg:
Oh. Oh.
Carmine Sabatini:
Give you a couple of opportunities.
Clark Kellogg:
Oh. Oh, no. No, no. You know, I... I don't know. I don't think that's necessary.
Carmine Sabatini:
No, no, no, really. It's easy for me. I'll just make a phone call. Make it easy for you.

Tags: People Quotes Film Quotes People Quotes

Governor:
You're the only man I know that somehow maintains the respect & admiration reckless teens *and* the Highway Patrol. You know the entertainment monkey business Webb, and you could interface with the Legion of State Task Forces with their pitiful self interests exposed in a film such as this.
Webb Wilder:
Sounds about as fun as a root canal.

Tags: Admiration Quotes Entertainment Quotes Film Quotes Heir Quotes Man Quotes

Jay Sherman:
On the Shermometer this film rates an absolute zero! BRRR!

Tags: Film Quotes

Polly Perkins:
[after Joe wouldn't let her go back to get her case of film that was in cave that was about to explode] You should've let me go back for my film.
Joe 'Sky Captain' Sullivan:
You're right, I should've.

Tags: Film Quotes

Blake Gardner:
Thou movie, which art on screen, hallowed be they name. The time has come. Thou will be shown in theaters as well as home. Give us this day our daily film and forgive our bad choices, as we forgive those whose movies were so bad to choose. And lead us not into television, but deliver us from that evil, for movies are the picture and the sound, and the greatest thing in the whole wide world, forever and ever. Movies Rule!

Tags: Movies Day Quotes Film Quotes Will Quotes Art Quotes

[Sy Lerner interrupts Johnny Depp and Jim Jarmusch while they are meditating in order to pitch them a film]
Sy Lerner:
This is a very spiritual film. This is a film written by a poet, whose father was a poet, one of the great American cowboy poets.
Sy Lerner:
[to Jim Jarmusch] And in fact, this is the kind of film that you would be perfect to direct. Now I don't know if you could handle a budget that big, 25 million, 'cause you're not used to working with that...
Jim Jarmusch:
Hey, I could handle any budget - 100 million - but I'm on a level above the earth right now. I'm interested in spiritual...
Johnny Depp:
We're floating. Right now, we're floating. Jim and I are above you.

Tags: Film Quotes Order Quotes Right Quotes

Walt Price:
What's in the bag?
Marty Rossen:
My undies, cause, you can't get this film off on time I'm gonna wet myself.

Tags: Film Quotes Time Quotes

[title card]
Title card/crawl:
The year is 1998 and it is a period of galactic civil war. Scratch that. There's no civil war. That would be crazy. However, the past fifteen years have been a dark time for Star Wars fans.
Title card/crawl:
But there is hope. A new Star Wars film is on the horizon. In 199 days, 3 hours, 33 minutes and 29 seconds the most anticipated movie of all time will be released.
Title card/crawl:
In the remote state of Ohio, two best friends and lifelong Star Wars fans have drifted apart. Little do they know that on Halloween night, their paths will cross again...
Title card/crawl:
Ever wonder why these words are flying? Maybe aliens in another galaxy will one day read this and think WTF?
Title card/crawl:
sent from my iPhone.

Tags: Friends Quotes Day Quotes Fans Quotes Film Quotes Heir Quotes

Actor from film #1:
[Has a gun to his head] I'll see you in hell!
Actor from film #2:
Save me a place in the shade! [Fires]

Tags: Actor Quotes Film Quotes

Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
And cut! Print. We're moving on. That was perfect.
Ed Reynolds:
Perfect? Mr. Wood, do you know anything about the art of film production?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
Well, I like to think so.
Ed Reynolds:
That cardboard headstone tipped over. This graveyard is obviously phony.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
Nobody will ever notice that. Filmmaking is not about the tiny details. It's about the big picture.
Ed Reynolds:
The big picture?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
Yes.
Ed Reynolds:
Then how 'bout when the policemen arrived in daylight, but now it's suddenly night?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
What do you know? Haven't you heard of suspension of disbelief?

Tags: Men Quotes Film Quotes Men Quotes Will Quotes Art Quotes

Jim Morrison:
[quoted in Jim Morrison's film class project] Nietzsche said, "All great things must first wear terrifying and monstrous masks in order to inscribe themselves on the hearts of humanity."

Tags: Class Quotes Film Quotes Order Quotes Us Quotes

[last lines]
Tom:
If you would have asked me a month ago, why I was making this fanfilm, I really don't know what I would have said. For the experience, recognition, chance at fame... stupid excuse to make a lightsaber duel? Revenge would have been my most honest answer, but still not the right one. The real reason for anyone, ANYONE to make a fanfilm, in my opinion - Man, just have fun. My film isn't going to change the world, I understand that. But I learned a lot, and I had a lot of laughs because I made it with my friends. And if you're not having fun... why are you making this fanfilm in the first place? Who cares if your film's not perfect? Who cares what other viewers or some stupid short-sighted radio critic says on some flashy website? Sometimes you have to step back and say, "Hey, it's only a movie."

Tags: Chance Quotes Change Quotes Film Quotes Reason Quotes Revenge Quotes

[opening narration]
Host:
We have done this film to help you understand what Scientology is, and assist you to get around to avail yourself of it, and answer your questions.

Tags: Film Quotes Help Quotes Scientology Quotes Self Quotes

[looking for the right horse to bet on]
Linda Ash:
Here's one: Eager Beaver! I once did a film called "Beaver Patrol" about these Boy Scouts who find drunk Girl Scouts in the woods and they take them into a cabin and they reach into their packs and they pull out these dildos and then...

Tags: Film Quotes Heir Quotes Right Quotes

Nick Kroll:
Hello, I'm a Mac
Christian Finnegan:
And I'm a PC
Nick Kroll:
I'm into doing fun stuff like music, movies podcasts, stuff like that.
Christian Finnegan:
And I'm into important stuff like spreadsheets, timesheets and pie charts.
Nick Kroll:
That's cool but you can't capture your family's vacation on a pie chart.
Christian Finnegan:
Right, but a podcast about your favorite hoodies and independent film won't help you pay for that vacation.
Nick Kroll:
No, that's what my trust fund is for, but that's a pretty sweet idea for a podcast.
Christian Finnegan:
Why am I even wasting my time talking to this jackass?
Nick Kroll:
Dude, don't be a hater! You can borrow my isight camera.

Tags: Movies Film Quotes Help Quotes Talking Quotes Fun Quotes

Older Lily:
Do you know how a photograph is made? The camera takes in the light through the lens, the aperture opens, and the focused light slices into the camera, embedding the image forever onto the film. The film is developed, and the images are resurrected with chemicals. [pause]
Older Lily:
Do you know how a photograph is really made?
Assistant:
You just said, the aperture opens and…
Older Lily:
A photograph is made in the mind of the photographer. He points his paintbrush and captures a moment, a temporal thief, he stops the clock for that one instant, and stores it in his camera. He captures an emotion, an event, or most poignantly, some indescribable nuance, that every person who sees the picture identifies, but can't put into words.
Assistant:
You really love it, don't you?
Older Lily:
He once told me, "The job of an artist is to make order out of chaos". Do you think that's true?
Assistant:
Sure. In a film negative everything is the opposite of what it looks like. Black is white, White is black. All the things you expect are switched around.

Tags: Love Quotes Age Quotes Film Quotes Artist Quotes Love Quotes

Fan from Casper, WY:
You have no idea sir how much I've learned from you. Your film with Tanya McDonald showed me how to please a woman. But also to tell if she's a vampire...

Tags: Film Quotes

[When Sara's camera runs out of film and the baby dinosaur roars]
Dr. Ian Malcolm:
Oh, they get very angry when you run out of film.

Tags: Film Quotes

Tillie:
Well, as you know, every revolution requires a secret mission or two to level the battlefield, so Boris and I whipped up a little something that might even the odds tomorrow.
Taz:
What is this?
Tillie:
Microscopic crabs. Kind of tough to focus on your surfing when you got those cute little critters dancing in your shorts.
Boris:
In 1971, I put the crabs like that into the jockstrap of President Nixon. I was towel boy in racquet club, and there is famous film of Nixon shaking the hand of Chinese premier, and then immediately he scratches his balls.

Tags: Dancing Quotes Film Quotes Rap Quotes Cute Quotes Evolution Quotes

Chaka:
I film this shit, I yell cut and then I get the fuck outta here back to my trailer, because I got more white girls in there than the first lifeboat of the Titanic, and they all want a part in my movie, and I got just the part for 'em!

Tags: Film Quotes Girls Quotes Art Quotes

[In the briefing room]
Cdr. Camparelli:
"Movie officer, what's the film tonite?"
Pilot:
"They Shoot horses, Don't They, Sir!"
Cdr. Camparelli:
"Any skin?"
Pilot:
"No Sir."
Cdr. Camparelli:
"Cancel it!"

Tags: Film Quotes

Tags: Film Quotes Teaching Quotes Body Quotes Society Quotes

Adam Taylor:
And she's a film girl too. Most film girls look like Peter Lorre.

Tags: Film Quotes Girls Quotes

[William has gone to see Anna filming, the film is a costume drama]
Karen, Anna's Publicist:
Are you a fan of Henry James?

Tags: Film Quotes

Edward D. Wood, Jr.:
[on phone with Mr. Feldman] Really? Worst film you ever saw. Well, my next one will be better. Hello. Hello.

Tags: Film Quotes Will Quotes

Webb Wilder:
[rating Briley's art film SLUG TRAIL] I gave it a thumb up; Travis only offered a finger.

Tags: Film Quotes Art Quotes

Tony Perkis:
Only film the ones that are standing Kenneth.

Tags: Film Quotes

Shosanna Dreyfus:
[threatening a French film developer] You either do what the fuck we tell you, or I'll bury this axe in your collaborating skull.

Tags: Film Quotes

[Val has just seen the terrible work of his latest film he directed while blind]
Val:
Call Dr. Kevorkian.

Tags: Film Quotes Work Quotes

[last lines]
Borat:
Jagshemash! You did it! You make moviefilm have happy ending. [Captain Jack Swallows comes on his wheel and runs Lucy, Peter, Susan and Edward over]
Borat:
NOT!

Tags: Film Quotes

[last lines] [Lara Croft enters dressed "properly" to see Hilary and Bryce standing and grinning]
Lara Croft:
What? [Bryce takes a picture of her]
Lara Croft:
[the revamped training robot enters the room]
Lara Croft:
Hmm. [Hilary takes the covering off the serving tray to reveal Lara Croft's trademark guns, and smiles]
Lara Croft:
[Lara Croft grabs the guns and film ends with a freeze-frame]

Tags: Film Quotes

Adolf Hitler:
[at the premiere of "Nation's Pride"] Extraordinary, my dear. Simply extraordinary. This is your finest film yet.
Joseph Goebbels:
[Goebbels' eyes fill with tears] Thank you, mein Führer. Thank you.

Tags: Film Quotes Eyes Quotes

[Morris Weissman is asked about his upcoming movie project]
Lady Sylvia McCordle:
Mr Weissman.
Morris Weissman:
Yes?
Lady Sylvia McCordle:
Tell us about the film you're going to make.
Morris Weissman:
Oh, sure. It's called "Charlie Chan In London". It's a detective story.
Mabel Nesbitt:
Set in London?
Morris Weissman:
Well, not really. Most of it takes place at a shooting party in a country house. Sort of like this one, actually. Murder in the middle of the night, a lot of guests for the weekend, everyone's a suspect. You know, that sort of thing.
Constance:
How horrid. And who turns out to have done it?
Morris Weissman:
Oh, I couldn't tell you that. It would spoil it for you.
Constance:
Oh, but none of us will see it.

Tags: Film Quotes Man Quotes Oil Quotes Party Quotes Will Quotes

Film Student:
This is going to be a long day.

Tags: Film Quotes

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