A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?
Mr. Levov was on of those slum-reared Jewish fathers whose rough-hewn, undereducated perspective goaded a whole generation of striving, college educated Jewish sons; a father for whom everything is an unshakable duty, for whom there is a right way and a wrong way and nothing in between, a father whose compound ambitions, biases, and beliefs is so unruffled by careful thinking that he isn't as easy to escape from as he seems. Limited men with limitless energy; men quick to be friendly and quick to be fed up; men for whom the most serious think in life is to keep going despite everything. And we were their sons. It was our job to love them.
Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories.
To be the father of growing daughters is to understand something of what Yeats evokes with his imperishable phrase 'terrible beauty.' Nothing can make one so happily exhilarated or so frightened: it's a solid lesson in the limitations of self to realize that your heart is running around inside someone else's body. It also makes me quite astonishingly calm at the thought of death: I know whom I would die to protect and I also understand that nobody but a lugubrious serf can possibly wish for a father who never goes away.
Son, there are times a man has to do things he doesn't like to, in order to protect his family.
Incidentally, I have also learned a bit about the importance of avoiding feminine embarrassment ('Daddy,' wrote Sophia when she enrolled at the New School where I teach, 'people will ask
...alas, raising a young lady is a mystery even beyond an enchanter's skill.
I know, from the three visits I made to him, the blended composite of love and fear that exists only in a boy's notion of his father.
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