interrogator [female]:
Samantha Carter?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter:
Yes.
interrogator [female]:
It's common knowledge that 4 years ago, a computer failure forced the space shuttle Intrepid's main engines to shut down before it could reach a safe orbit or secondary landing site. When the auto pilot also failed mission commander, Samantha Carter, stayed behind to fly it while her crew bailed out of the escape hatch. The orbiter went down over the Atlantic and her body was never recovered.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter:
It wasn't me.
interogator [female]:
You just said you name... [Sam cuts her off]
interogator [female]:
[Cam, Sam, and Daniel are being interogated, all talking at the same time]
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter:
I was recruited into the Stargate program in my timeline not N.A.S.A...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
Stargate Command is a branch of the United States Air Force, founded in nineteen-ninety I forget the exact year; for the purpose of exploration and just... it operates in secret from...
Dr. Daniel Jackson:
...actually, at was less an altered timeline and it was this kind of... but i know what your thinking. You're thinking I'm insane.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter:
And so we had the Stargate powered and it was capable of operating, but none of the random addresses.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
A list, you, you want the whole list of every plant I've ever been to? Okay; Earth you never forget your first. Right!
Dr. Daniel Jackson:
It was just a matter of finding which of the 39 symbols represented the point of origin.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter:
The symbols in a combination of seven...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
Known as Casa, it's kind of like space corn; but you know that is a story you are going to hear some day
interogator [male]:
You think this is funny?
Dr. Daniel Jackson:
Everything I can think of I've told you. I mean seriously, who would make this shit up!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
Because it is; funny! And you need to learn that things can be both funny and serious at the same time!
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter:
I've listened. whereas I've been trying to tell you that Earth is in serious danger and you don't seem to give a rat's ass!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
[annoyed] OK, fine! O'Neil wants nothing to do with us, what about Landry! No you see - I know him.
Dr. Daniel Jackson:
[dryly] if you'd like to hear to answer to that question, why don't you go and play your tape back, I'm going to take a break. [smiles quickly, then frowns and drinks coffee]
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter:
Oh my God, for the umpteenth time - I want to talk to someone else!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
I am agitated because this is not the way things are suposed to be!
Major General Hank Landry:
[walks in] Unfortunately colonel, it's the way it is!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
General, thank you for coming. you flew F-4's in Vietnam, you have a daughter named Caroline, you're wild about Fulvous whistling ducks...
Major General Hank Landry:
Stop right there son, I believe you.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
[dumbfounded] You do?
Freck:
What do you think about the New Path?
Barris:
While it doesn't matter what I think, I kinda have to tip my hat to any entity that can bring so much integrity to evil. I mean, imagine this: a seemingly voluntary, privatized gulag which has managed to eliminate the meddling middlemen of public accountability and free will and wrap it up in a little bow and give it to the public like a gift. I mean, come on this is... [he makes exploding sounds and gestures]
Barris:
... this is awe-inspiring stuff.
Freck:
I heard you have to go cold turkey.
Barris:
Cold turkey doesn't even apply to Substance D. Unlike the legacy of inherited predisposition to addictive behaviors or substances, this needs no genetic assistance. There's no weekend warriors on the D. You're either on it... or you haven't tried it.
Freck:
Well, I like it.
Barris:
Yeah. How many caps do you take per day?
Freck:
Hmmm... very difficult to determine. But not that many.
Barris:
Well, like the old-school pharmacopoeia, a tolerance develops, you know. These visions of bugs, they're just garden-variety psychosis, but a clear indication that you've hurdled over the initial fun and euphoric phase and passed on... to the next phase. News from the guinea pig grapevine suggests that whatever it is, we won't know until it's way too late, you see? You see that we're all canaries in the coal mine on this one?
Freck:
Mm. I do think I have another source. That Donna chick.
Barris:
Bob's girl?
Freck:
Yeah.
Barris:
Yeah, "his girl," although I know for a fact he never gets in her pants.
Freck:
Really?
Barris:
Yeah.
Freck:
But he... talks like he does.
Barris:
Oh, yeah. That's Bob Arctor. He talks like he does many things. It's not the same, my friend, it's not the same thing. Donna has an aversion to bodily contact. I mean, junkies lose their interest in sex, you realize, due to organs swelling up from vasoconstriction. And I have observed in her an inordinate failure of sexual arousal not just toward Bob Arctor, but to... other males as well.
Freck:
I can't believe she doesn't put out.
Barris:
Well, she would... if she were handled right. For instance, I could show you how to sleep with her for less than three dollars.
Freck:
I don't wanna sleep with her. I wanna buy from her.
Barris:
Donna does coke, all right?
Freck:
Three dollars doesn't get you a line of coke.
Barris:
Ah-ah. That's where you're wrong, pal.
Paula:
Look, many young men who should be able to move out, simply can't. It's called "failure to launch". And that's where I come in. Young men develop self-esteem best during a romantic relationship, so I simulate one. We have a memorable meeting. We get to know each other over a few casual meals, he helps me through an emotional crisis, then I meet his friends, if he has any... Then I let him teach me something... But the bottom line is, he bonds with me. He lets go of you. He moves out.
Al:
But how do you make sure that he'll fall in love with you?
Paula:
You look nice, you find out what they like, and then you pretend to like it, too.
Sue:
That is pretty much how it works.
Al:
What about sex?
Paula:
Al, I never have sex with a client. Besides, I need to keep Tripp motivated, and let's face it, after men have sex...
Sue:
Is there anything that we need to do?
Paula:
Well, for starters, you could make life a little more difficult for him. You know, more chores, more responsibilities, that kind of thing.
Sue:
I just think you should know that Tripp has had some rough breaks.
Paula:
I promise you, when this is over, Tripp is going to be an independant, self-sufficient adult.
It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbled,or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is
marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows great enthusiasms,
great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who
know neither victory nor defeat.
