Napoleon Dynamite: [drinks glass of milk] The defect in that one is bleach. FFA Judge No. 1: That's right. Napoleon Dynamite: Yessssssssss. Napoleon Dynamite: [drinks second glass of milk] This tastes like the cow got into an onion patch. FFA Judge No. 2: Correct. Napoleon Dynamite: Yessssssssss.
Stills Photographer: You know double-O-7? Bob: He drinks martinis, but all right.
Christie - Wife #6: If you're a bad boy, I'm gonna spank you! [she spanks Tom] Tom: Ow! Ok, I've got something to say to you. [Hannah kicks him] Tom: Ow! Christie - Wife #6: Tom, I just want you to know that if you need anything, money, advice, help with girl problems, you can always come to me. I'd like you to think of me as a real mother. Tom: Alright, sure [Tom's dad comes over] Christie - Wife #6: Oh, here he is! Thomas Bailey Sr.: She's just as drunk as the night we met. [Tom starts to take a drink from his whiskey but Christie snatches it away and drinks it herself] Tom: Oh got right on ahead. Thomas Bailey Sr.: [Slaps Tom] You're a bad influence on her! Tom: Wha-? Me? [Thomas Sr. and Christie walk off] Hannah: He knows that he can just date right? Tom: No, I don't think so. [They laugh]
Bill Rago: Hamlet's mother, she's a queen. Soldiers: Hamlet's mother, she's a queen. Bill Rago: Buys it in the final scene. Soldiers: Buys it in the final scene. Bill Rago: Drinks a glass of funky wine. Soldiers: Drinks a glass of funky wine. Bill Rago: Now she's Satan's valentine. Soldiers: Now she's Satan's valentine.
Johnny Knoxville: [while gagging after Pontius drinks the horse semen] I never puke ever, and I really almost puked then.
Bennie Harper: You sure are a tough guy. Arthur Banks: What are you talking about? Bennie Harper: You talk like a tough guy, you walk like a tough guy, you even order drinks like a tough guy... Arthur Banks: I'm not a tough guy - I'm just careful! Bennie Harper: Careful of what? Arthur Banks: Of pretty women...
Hedwig: I have been having the most wonderful time with - do you remember that 45-year-old divorcee with the hair and the mean look? She came up to me after the show and I thought, "This lady wants a piece of me." So I didn't know what to do. I was alone, I had nothing in my hand, I was going to go for the eyes. She came at me from both sides, somehow, and she just gave me a fucking hug. She gave me a fucking hug. Can you figure? Can you fucking beat that? She gave me - also got a few drinks from it, as well.
Plainview: [Daniel has covered his face with a napkin] So Standard offered us a million dollars for the Little Boston leases, and I told H. M. Tilford where he could shove that, and we made a deal with Union! On the pipeline! And that whole ocean of oil underneath our fields! H.M. Tilford: [to his tablemates] ... 150,000 dollars... Man: We needed the money to drill. Man: I go out to meet him. He's getting oil on the property. We're trying to make a claim on it. Offered him a million dollars. Turned us down flat. Plainview: [growing frustrated] All right. [stands up, walks over and leans in to Tilford's face] Plainview: I want you to look over there. [points towards H.W] H.M. Tilford: Daniel, let me introduce you... Plainview: Look over there, you see. That's my son. You see him? You SEE? H.M. Tilford: I see him. Plainview: You don't tell me how to raise my family. I told you not to tell me how to raise my family. So, what do you see? H.M. Tilford: I'm very happy for you that... Plainview: Yes, I've made a deal with Union and my son is happy and safe. H.M. Tilford: Congratulations. Excellent... Plainview: I'm taking care of him now, so... You look like a fool, don't you Tilford? H.M. Tilford: [long pause] Yes. Plainview: Y-y-y-yes, you do. H.M. Tilford: [embarrassed] Excuse me gentlemen... Plainview: Oh, excuse me gentlemen. Excuse him, gentlemen. [to Tilford] Plainview: I told you what I was gonna do. [drinks Tilford's whiskey]
Space Ghost: [to Master Shake] You need to chill out, and shut your lid cup, or else it'll be time to shake it up! [pause] Space Ghost: And the drinks are on me. [pause] Space Ghost: Cause I'm tired of milking this shake. And there's no... free refills this time. [pause] Space Ghost: Excuse me Mam but the machine seems to be out of ice and, I just purchased this. [longer pause] Space Ghost: Let me, let me rework this.
Ricky Slade: Excuse me Honey, umm, where the drinks are concerned, is that a hidden tax? Does that fall under complementary up front service as well or is that something you pay for? Flight Attendent: Oh no, no, they're complementary. Would you care for another one? Ricky Slade: They're complementary? Flight Attendent: Yes. Ricky Slade: You bet your ass I would.
Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: Two double scotches please. Stewardess #1: I'm sorry we can only serve two drinks at a time. Two double scotches would be four drinks. Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: OK how about this? You sell me my double scotch, and you sell my friend his double scotch, but instead of putting his double scotch on his tray, you put it on mine and I'll pay you for both. By the way have I told you that you look lovely in red and blue... Pam. Stewardess #1: Ok, fine. Here you go. Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: Keep the change. Stewardess #1: Oh, we're not allowed to accept tips. Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli: [Turns to Barney] Not allowed to accept tips.
Soldiers: [chanting] Hamlet's mother, she's the queen / Buys it in the final scene / Drinks a glass of funky wine / Now she's Satan's Valentine.
[looking at Rodin's "The Thinker"] Ellen: Rodin never said what he was thinking. Mickey: You see, what I think he was thinking was, "Goddam Rodin. Three drinks and I'm nude."
Alicia: One of our security guards actually tried to frisk me. We're having drinks later.
Lt. Archie Hicox: Well, if this is it, old boy, I hope you don't mind I go out speaking the king's? Major Dieter Hellstrom: By all means, Captain. Lt. Archie Hicox: There's a special rung in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch. And seeing as I might be rapping on the door momentarily... [he drinks the scotch] Lt. Archie Hicox: I must say, damned good stuff, sir. [pause] Lt. Archie Hicox: Now, about this pickle we find ourselves in...
Cooper: So who's Cristoff? Jenny: I don't wanna talk about it. [Takes bottle of alchoal and drinks it all]
[Frodo drinks the last drops of water from Sam's waterskin] Frodo: There'll be none left for the return journey. Sam: I don't think there will be a return journey, Mr. Frodo.
[Jack throws a bucket of water on sleeping Gibbs] Mr. Gibbs: Curse you for breathin' ya slack-jawed idiot. Mother's love. Jack. You should know better than to wake a man when he's sleepin'. Its bad luck. Jack Sparrow: Fortunately, I know how to counter it; the man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink; the man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition from the man who did the waking. Mr. Gibbs: Aye, that'll about do it. [Will throws more water on Mr. Gibbs] Mr. Gibbs: Blast I'm already awake. Will Turner: That was for the smell.
Maggot: Let me at him! Let me at him! Don't hold me back! Elder Gutknecht: [holding crowd back] Wait! We must abide by their rules! We are amongst the living. Barkis Bittern: Well said. [drinks potion] Maggot: [after Lord Barkis drinks potion] Not any more! Elder Gutknecht: Yep. You're right. He's all yours.
Sarah the Little Girl: You're fatter this year. Santa: Thank you. You've grown too. Now go back to sleep. [Drinks the milk and gags a little] Sarah the Little Girl: What's wrong? Santa: I think the milk's a little sour. Sarah the Little Girl: It's soy milk. Santa: Huh? Sarah the Little Girl: You said you were lactose intollerant.
Lionel McCready: [about Helene] She's at the Fillmore all the time. Patrick Kenzie: She's at the Fillmore lounge? Lionel McCready: Yeah, she drinks every day. She's got the gene, you know? The disease. Our parents had it too. Patrick Kenzie: She use drugs? Lionel McCready: I think she does a little coke. Patrick Kenzie: How much is a little? Lionel McCready: I don't know. Few times a week, maybe. I mean how much is a lot? Patrick Kenzie: Few times a week's a lot. Lionel McCready: Then she does a lot. I don't know anything about that. I put the plug in the jug myself, I got twenty-three years sobriety, so, I'm good.
Robbie: [Glenn offers him a drink after Jason insults him] No, I'm not a big drinker. Glenn: Well I am, how about an "Alabama Slammer"? Glenn's buddy: Sounds like a plan. Robbie: Yeah, go ahead, have a few drinks and, you know, drive home.
Boy: Santa doesn't drink champagne. Santa only drinks milk. George: [quietly] Listen. Santa can't drink no more milk. Santa has a lactose intolerance, and it gives him horrible gas pains. Do you want to see Santa farting down everybody's chimney?
Billie Frank: [shouting at Dave] That is what you do with the drink! You drink it! You can't eat it: nothing to chew! Can't wear it: no straps! Can't smoke it: wet! Drinks are meant to be drunk, much like myself! That's the familiar face: isn't that Billie Frank, the drunk? Joe: And the slut. Billie Frank: Right!
Allen: 75 cents, that's a rip off. A.J.: Supply and demand Allen. Allen: You took all my milk money. A.J.: Bottle of water. Laura Cannon drinks it. Allen: Laura Cannon. A.J.: Go on. Take a chance.
Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Shane! Shane: Yes, Mr. Whiplash? Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Drinks on the house. Shane: Yes, sir. Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: No, wait a second. Drinks are 50% off. Shane: Right. Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: No, wait a second. Double the price of everything! [chuckles] Shane: Yes, sir.
Madeline Ashton: Bottoms up! [Madeline drinks the potion] Lisle Von Rhoman: Now, a warning. Madeline Ashton: NOW a warning?
Gonard: Let's see, Gonardade... delicious. [drinks from same pitcher] Gonard: Mikeyade... I'm going to vomit.
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