[Foster and Mac have pulled a man over for speeding and are deciding what game to play]
Mac:
All right, how about "Cat Game?"
Foster:
Cat Game? What's the record?
Mac:
Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.
Foster:
Ten? Starting right 'meow?' [Mac laughs - they walk up to the car, and Foster taps on the driver side]
Larry Johnson:
Sorry about the...
Foster:
All right meow. (1) Hand over your license and registration. [the man hands him his license]
Foster:
Your registration? Hurry up meow. (2) [Mac ticks off two fingers]
Larry Johnson:
Sorry. [the man laughs a little]
Foster:
Is there something funny here boy?
Larry Johnson:
Oh, no.
Foster:
Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson? [pause]
Foster:
All right meow, (3) where were we?
Larry Johnson:
Excuse me, are you saying meow?
Foster:
Am I saying meow? [Mac puts his hands up for the fourth one, but makes an "eehhh" facial expression, as he is considering the last one]
Larry Johnson:
I thought...
Foster:
Don't think boy. Meow, (4) do you know how fast you were going? [man laughs]
Foster:
Meow. (5) What is so damn funny?
Larry Johnson:
I could have sworn you said meow.
Foster:
Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? [Mac is gut-busting laughing]
Foster:
Am I drinking milk from a saucer? [feigned anger]
Foster:
Do you see me eating mice?
Foster:
[Mac and the man are laughing their heads off now] You stop laughing right meow! (6)
Larry Johnson:
[the man stops and swallows hard] Yes sir.
Foster:
Meow, (7) I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. (8) It's the law. [rips off the ticket and hands it to the man]
Foster:
Not so funny meow, (9) is it?
Foster:
[Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows] Meow! (10)
Father:
There was this English butler out in India. One day, he goes in the dining room and what does he see under the table ? A tiger. Not turning a hair, he goes straight to the drawing room. "Hum, hum. Excuse me, my lord," and whispering, so as not to upset the ladies : "I'm very sorry my lord. There appears to be a tiger in the dining room. Perhaps his Lordship will permit use of the twelve bores ?" They go on drinking their tea. And then, there's three gunshots. Well, they don't think nothing of it, this being out in India where they're used to anything. When the butler is back to refresh the teapots, he says, cool as a cucumber : "Dinner will be served at the usual time, my lord. And I am pleased to say there will be no discernible traces left of the recent occurence by that time." There will be no discernible traces of the recent occurrence by that time !
Walter Harvey:
You kind of let me down on that San Antonio job.
Jimmy Dugan:
I, uh, yeh, I, uh... I freely admit, sir, I had no right to... sell off the team's equipment like that; that won't happen again.
Walter Harvey:
Let me be blunt. Are you still a fall-down drunk?
Jimmy Dugan:
Well, that is blunt. Ahem. No sir, I've, uh, quit drinking.
Walter Harvey:
You've seen the error of your ways.
Jimmy Dugan:
No, I just can't afford it. [giggles]
Walter Harvey:
It's funny to you. Your drinking is funny. You're a young man, Jimmy: you still could be playing, if you just would've laid off the booze.
Jimmy Dugan:
Well, it's not exactly like that... I hurt my knee.
Walter Harvey:
You fell out of a hotel. That's how you hurt it.
Jimmy Dugan:
Well, there was a fire.
Walter Harvey:
Which you started, which I had to pay for.
Jimmy Dugan:
Well, now, I was going to send you a thank-you card, Mr. Harvey, but I wasn't allowed anything sharp to write with.
W.P. Mayhew:
Mister Fink, they have not invented a genre of picture that Bill Mayhew has not, at one time or other, been invited to essay. Yes, I have taken my stab at the rasslin' form, as I have stabbed at so many others, and with as little success. I gather that you are a freshman here, eager for an upperclassman's counsel. However, just at the moment, I have drinking to do. Why don't you stop by my bungalow, which is number fifteen, later on this afternoon, and we will discuss rasslin' scenarios and other things lit'rary.
Sushi Bar Assistant:
[Japanese] What'd ya want?
The Bride:
[English] I beg your pardon?
Hattori Hanzo:
[English] Oh..."drink" [makes drinking motion with hand]
The Bride:
[English] Oh, yes, a bottle of warm sake please.
Hattori Hanzo:
[English] Warm sake? VERY GOOD.
Hattori Hanzo:
[Japanese] One warm sake.
Sushi Bar Assistant:
[Japanese] Sake? In the middle of the day?
Hattori Hanzo:
[Japanese] Day, night, afternoon, who gives a damn? Get the sake!
Sushi Bar Assistant:
[Japanese] How come I always have to get the sake? You listen well... for thirty years, you make the fish, I get the sake. If this were the military, I'd be General by now!
Hattori Hanzo:
[Japanese] Oh, so you'd be General, huh? If you were General, I'd be Emperor, and you'd STILL get the sake! So shut up and get the sake!
Hattori Hanzo:
[English] Do you understand?
