Vincent:
Want some bacon?
Jules:
No man, I don't eat pork.
Vincent:
Are you Jewish?
Jules:
Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.
Vincent:
Why not?
Jules:
Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.
Vincent:
Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.
Jules:
Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs sleep and root in shit. That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces.
Vincent:
How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces.
Jules:
I don't eat dog either.
Vincent:
Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?
Jules:
I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.
Vincent:
Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
Jules:
Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charming motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?
[sees two dogs on a horse-driven cart]
Garfield:
Hey, Odie, it's one of those royal corgis. [also sees the queen on the cart]
Garfield:
Hey lady, you got any leftover liver? [no response from the queen]
Garfield:
Ah, stuck-up little punk. Oh, I know she heard it, they had the top down. Odie... Odie? [Odie starts peeing on a British soldier's foot]
Garfield:
D'uh-oh! Odie, no, don't do the ugly American thing! [soldier looks down at Odie]
Garfield:
[running away with Odie from the soldier] The British are coming, the British are coming! Well, you made him crack anyway.
Benedict:
I understand you are interested in drug dealers.
Danny Madigan:
[whispering] Jack, that's him, the henchman with the glass eye.
Jack Slater:
Sir, are you a henchman?
Benedict:
No, I only go as far as lackey. Anything else?
Jack Slater:
Yeah, take off your sunglasses.
Benedict:
Who's asking?
Jack Slater:
[flashes Police badge] The tin man.
Benedict:
Well, tin man, suppose you hit the bricks.
Jack Slater:
No, they're the wrong color.
Benedict:
Are they? Oh dear. Let's change them. Would arterial red suit you? [points to guard dogs]
Benedict:
Make no mistake, they are exceptionally well-trained. [snaps fingers, dogs form pyramid]
Benedict:
I snap my fingers again and some time tomorrow, you emerge from several canine rector. Or you and Toto can return to the land of Oz. Questions?
Jack Slater:
Yeah, two of them. Why am I wasting my time with silly putz like you when I could be doing something more dangerous - like rearranging my sock drawer? Two, how exactly are you going to snap your fingers, after I rip off both of your thumbs? [pause, Benedict reveals smiley-face eye]
Benedict:
Have a nice day! [closing the door, he overhears Danny]
Danny Madigan:
He had one with a bulls-eye when he was with your second cousin. He hates his boss, he calls him a "Sicilian schmuck."
Stuart:
It is no more crazy than a dog finding a rainbow. Dogs are colourblind, Gretchen. They don't see colour. Just like we don't see time. We can feel it, we can feel it passing, but we can't see it. It's just like a blur. It's like we're riding in a supersonic train and the world is just blowing by, but imagine if we could stop that train, eh, Gretchen? Imagine if we could stop that train, get out, look around, and see time for what it really is? A universe, a world, a thing as unimaginable as colour to a dog, and as real, as tangible as that chair you're sitting in. Now if we could see it like that, really look at it, then maybe we could see the flaws as well as the form. And that's it; it's that simple. That's all I discovered. I'm just a... a guy who saw a crack in a chair that no one else could see. I'm that dog who saw a rainbow, only none of the other dogs believed me.
Gretchen:
I believe you.
Marty Preston:
[about Shiloh] "What's his name?"
Judd Travers:
[irritated] "He ain't got a name! I don't name any of my dogs. Dogs 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5, that's what I call 'em! When I want 'em I whistle, when I don't I give 'em a kick; Get, Out, Scram, Idgit, those are their names!"
