Quotes and Sayings about discworl

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It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,' he said. 'Have you thought of going into teaching?

An Assassin, a real Assassin had to look like one-black clothes, hood, boots, and all. If they could wear any clothes, any disguise, then what could anyone do but spend all day in a small room with a loaded crossbow pointed at the door?

Tags: discworld humor

The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness.

Tags: boots discworld economics vimes

I would like you to teach [the orcs] civilised behaviour,' said Ladyship coldly.

He appeared to consider this. 'Yes of course, I think that would be quite possible,' he said. 'And who would you send to teach the humans?

Tags: civilization discworld humanity monsters

The disc, being flat, has no real horizon. Any adventurous sailor who got funny ideas from staring at eggs and oranges for too long and set out for the antipodes soon learned that the reason why distant ships sometimes looked as though they were disappearing over the edge of the world was that they were disappearing over the edge of the world.

Tags: discworld

A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.

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Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.

Tags: adventure change discworld growth travel

Your average witch is not, by nature, a social animal as far as other witches are concerned. There's a conflict of dominant personalities. There's a group of ringleaders without a ring. There's the basic unwritten rule of witchcraft, which is 'Don't do what you will, do what I say.' The natural size of a coven is one. Witches only get together when they can't avoid it.

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No it's not! said Constable Visit. 'Atheism is a denial of a god.'

Therefore It Is A Religious Position,' said Dorfl. 'Indeed, A True Atheist Thinks Of The Gods Constantly, Albeit In Terms of Denial. Therefore, Atheism Is A Form Of Belief. If The Atheist Truly Did Not Believe, He Or She Would Not Bother To Deny.

Tags: atheism atheist discworld gods religion

WORDS IN THE HEART CANNOT BE TAKEN.

Tags: discworld fantasy golem words

That bit where that lad sprang backwards right across the room with them axes in his hands was impressive, though.'

Yeah.'

You didn't ought to have stuck your sword out like that, I thought.'

He's learned an important lesson.'

It won't do him much good now where he's gone.

Tags: cohen discworld rincewind

Verence would rather cut his own leg off than put a witch in prison, since it'd save trouble in the long run and probably be less painful.

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On the disc, the Gods are not so much worshiped as blamed.

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Inside every sane person there's a madman struggling to get out,' said the shopkeeper. 'That's what I've always thought. No one goes mad quicker than a totally sane person.

Tags: discworld humanity sanity

The rising sun managed to peek around the vast column of smoke that forever rose from Ankh-Morpork, City of Cities, illustrating almost up to the edge of space that smoke means progress or, at least, people setting fire to things.

Tags: cities discworl progress

It was octarine, the colour of magic. It was alive and glowing and vibrant and it was the undisputed pigment of the imagination, because wherever it appeared it was a sign that mere matter was a servant of the powers of the magical mind. It was enchantment itself.

But Rincewind always thought it looked a sort of greenish-purple.

Tags: discworld

Open your eyes and then open your eyes again.

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Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.

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The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it.

Tags: discworld guards jingo vimes

Coffee is a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your older self.

Tags: coffee discworld humor watch

Ankh-Morpork! Pearl of cities! This is not a completely accurate description, of course

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Cake is not the issue here.

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You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree.'

One of the giants grinned at him.

Druellae snorted. 'Stupid! Where do you think acorns come from?

Tags: discworld

It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact of the matter was that the Disc was manifestly traversing space on the back of a giant turtle and the gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows.

Tags: discworld gods religion

Walter Plinge said: 'You know she asked me a very silly question Mrs Ogg! It was a silly question any fool knows the answer!'

'Oh, yes,' said Nanny. 'About houses on fire, I expect...'

'Yes! What would I take out of our house if it was on fire!'

'I expect you were a good boy and said you'd take your mum,' said Nanny.

'No! My mum would take herself!'

'What would you take out then, Walter?' Nanny said.

'The fire!

Tags: discworld humor

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