Vincent Hanna: My life's a disaster zone. I got a stepdaughter so fucked up because her real father's this large-type asshole. I got a wife, we're passing each other on the down-slope of a marriage - my third - because I spend all my time chasing guys like you around the block. That's my life. Neil McCauley: A guy told me one time, "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner." Now, if you're on me and you gotta move when I move, how do you expect to keep a... a marriage?
Joy Burns: This way, instead of April showing up with some new piercing or some ugly new tattoo and, God forbid, staying overnight, this way, we get to show up, experience the disaster that is her life, smile through it, and before you know it, we're on our way back home.
Kate Sanders: Only you would think that you could hide that powder blue, puffy sleeved, it's kind of a peasant dress, but it's really a questionable disaster of fiber content that you wore to the spring dance. Lizzie McGuire, you are an outfit repeater! Lizzie: Okay, I may be an outfit repeater, but you're an outfit rememberer, which is just as pathetic!
Nigel 'The Leg' Gruff: Hey Shane Falco. I lost a ton of money on that Sugar Bowl disaster of yours. What a bloody shambles that was. You could smell the stink all the way back in bloody Wales. Shane Falco: Nice meeting you.
BJ: We've got no food, no compass, no trail, no-- no way to get the hell out of here... but we do have one thing. We've got the biggest damn lawsuit against this church for sending a bunch of minors out into the butt-freakin' amazon with absolutely no preparation for a disaster of this magnitude. This is asinine.
Kristy Thomas: [Hangs up the phone after booking a baby-sitting appointment with Jacky Rodowsky] I know Jackie Rodowsky's a walking disaster but I like him, okay? New business. Claudia Kishi: We have a tragedy here! I flunked science and I have to go to summer school. Jessi Ramsey: [Sarcastic] Aren't you parents going to kill you? Claudia Kishi: Maybe.
Kendal: Ross! There's a disaster brewing on the roof!
Ashley Albright: [to Jake] What can I say? I am a pathetic disaster and I give up.
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