You do not do, you do not do Any more, black shoe In which I have lived like a foot For thirty years, poor and white, Barely daring to breathe or Achoo. Daddy, I have had to kill you. You died before I had time--- Marble-heavy, a bag full of God, Ghastly statue with one grey toe[1] Big as a Frisco seal And a head in the freakish Atlantic When it pours bean green over blue In the waters of beautiful Nauset.[2] I used to pray to recover you. Ach, du.[3] In the German tongue, in the Polish town[4] Scraped flat by the roller Of wars, wars, wars. But the name of the town is common. My Polack friend Says there are a dozen or two. So I never could tell where you Put your foot, your root, I never could talk to you. The tongue stuck in my jaw. It stuck in a barb wire snare. Ich, ich, ich, ich,[5] I could hardly speak. I thought every German was you. And the language obscene An engine, an engine Chuffing me off like a Jew. A Jew to Dachau, Auschwitz, Belsen.[6] I began to talk like a Jew. I think I may well be a Jew. The snows of the Tyrol,[7] the clear beer of Vienna Are not very pure or true. With my gypsy ancestress and my weird luck And my Taroc[8] pack and my Taroc pack I may be a bit of a Jew. I have always been scared of you, With your Luftwaffe,[9] your gobbledygoo. And your neat mustache And your Aryan eye, bright blue. Panzer[10]-man, panzer-man, O You--- Not God but a swastika So black no sky could squeak through. Every woman adores a Fascist, The boot in the face, the brute Brute heart of a brute like you. You stand at the blackboard, daddy, In the picture I have of you, A cleft in your chin instead of your foot But no less a devil for that, no not And less the black man who Bit my pretty red heart in two. I was ten when they buried you. At twenty I tried to die And get back, back, back to you. I thought even the bones would do. But they pulled me out of the sack, And they stuck me together with glue.[11] And then I knew what to do. I made a model of you, A man in black with a Meinkampf look[12] And a love of the rack and the screw. And I said I do, I do. So daddy, I
Are you lost daddy I arsked tenderly. Shut up he explained.
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