Troy: You black bitches are all the same. Robin: Bitch? Troy: Y'all always complaining about how nobody don't want your ass, don't nobody know how to treat ya! Then you meet a man, a brother, with genuine interest in ya, and you gotta act simple. Then you wonder why we date white women. Robin: A white woman can have your sorry ass!
[doorbell buzzes] Devil: Who's that? Bob: It's Marilyn. Devil: Who? Bob: Creep from down the hall, complaining about the noise. Devil: [suddenly nervous] Oh, tell him I'm not here. He spooks me out. He's weird. Marilyn Manson: Can you keep it down in there? I'm trying to read, okay? [holds up copy of Bible] Devil: Complaining about the noise? Have you heard the racket he makes?
Caroline: [complaining about her ex-boyfriend] What do you think I should do? Dr. Ben Sobel: Well, what I think you should do... is stop whining about this pathetic loser. [Sobel stands up] Dr. Ben Sobel: You are a tragedy queen! "Oh, Steve doesn't like me!" "Steve doesn't respect me!" Oh, who gives a shit? GET A FUCKIN' LIFE! Caroline: Dr Sobel? [Sobel, back in his chair, snaps out of a daze]
Tournament Director: Ok. I want to remind you to conduct yourselves like adults. I don't want any trouble. You know exactly what I'm talking about. If you're going to watch the game, do so from behind the player. No throat noises. No comments. No eye contact. Nobody cares if you're guilty or not. If you all behave yourselves, I think we'll all have a very good time. I'm not kidding. Tournament Director: [walks away] Parents: [follows him complaining] My son can't play w/ - My daughter needs her own clock... Parents: [more various complaints] Tournament Director: [spins around and shows serious look. Everyone shuts up, and he walks away again] Parents: [starts complaining about him] Oh! This is unfair!
Texas Ranger: [complaining about doing community service] When do we get to stop doing this, Grandma? Lucy Bobby: Well, I don't know, honey. When are you boys going to stop tossing me the radio in the bathtub?
Vivi: Mary... mother of the motherless? Can you see me? I'm here! It's me again! I need divine intervention once again. Quelle grande surprise. And here it is. My oldest daughter, Siddalee, the one I've been complaining about? The loudmouth? She may be walking away from true love. Please stop her. Don't let her run away. This is because of me. She never said it, but... I know. She's only seen me holding back. I take full responsibility. But I'd appreciate you keeping that to yourself. Please pass this on to your son and his father. I will only smoke once... a day. And I will only have a drink once a week - I mean a day. I'll do the best I can. If you will just help her out with this one thing, I'll make it up to you somehow.
[complaining about TV news coverage] Doughboy: Either they don't know, don't show, or don't care about what's going on in the hood. They had all this foreign shit. They didn't have shit on my brother, man.
Justin Sax: [complaining about Sol drinking from the milk carton] Why don't you cut out the middle man and spit in my mouth?
Wayne: So, Coach, how's your parole coming? Coach Norton: Not good. The victim's whiny family keeps complaining J.D.: God! What is their PROBLEM?
[Joe's complaining about the quality of the food] Joe: I'm sick of this pre-packed dog shite. Bruce: If it's not one thing, it's another, eh Joe? Spoon: I know, you're like a bear with a sore head. Terry: Thanks to Cooper's fancy footwork. Cooper: Yeah, sorry about that Joe. How's your head doing? Joe: Still in one piece. Knock on wood.
Mike O'Donnell: [finds out that Scarlett is re-doing their yard] The divorce isn't final for another two weeks, so you have no right. Scarlett O'Donnell: Really? I spent the last 18 years of my life listening to you whine about what you could have done without me and I have no right? Mike O'Donnell: It's just that I put a lot of work in this yard. Scarlett O'Donnell: Did you? Really? Like the barbecue pit? Yeah, the way I remember that is that you spent about an hour working on it and then you spent the next two days complaining about how " If you had gone to college then you could have had hired someone else to do it." Mike O'Donnell: I don't think it was a whole two days... Scarlett O'Donnell: What about the hammock over here? Mike O'Donnell: Yeah... Scarlett O'Donnell: Yeah, I think you quit that one because you just decided not try anymore.
Cracker Bob: [complaining about the clothes she designed for him] Faith, I told you I look like a fucking orange.
Tom Sanders: Why don't I just admit it? Admit that I'm that evil white guy everyone is always complaining about? Hey Chau-Minh, come down here so I can execise my patriarchal urge!
Cassandra: [after complaining about Hilary Faye's ridiculous attempt to save her] It's ok. Last year I got saved so I could go on the ski trip.
Max Kendall: What are you doing in here, bud? Jay Austin: Complaining to God. Max Kendall: Well, while you're in here yapping, he's out here working.
Viktor: [after killing a complaining Nobleman] Would anyone else like to be heard?
Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: Ipkiss? Stanley Ipkiss? Stanley Ipkiss: Yes? Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: Lt. Kellaway, city precinct. You know anything about the disturbance last night? Stanley Ipkiss: Dis... turbance? Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: Yeah, some kind of prowler broke in and attacked Mrs. Peenman. Stanley Ipkiss: Attacked? Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: You didn't hear anything? She unloaded a couple of rounds of buckshot 5 feet from your door. [Stanley sees Mrs. Peenman complaining about big hole in floor] Stanley Ipkiss: This is... impossible. Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: Those pajamas are impossible. This actually happened. Stanley Ipkiss: See, I have an inner ear problem. Sometimes I can't hear anything. Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: Is that a fact? Stanley Ipkiss: Eh? [laughs] Lieutenant Mitch Kellaway: Here's my card. If you remember anything unusual about last night, anything at all, call me. Stanley Ipkiss: You betcha. Thank you. And good luck... cracking the case.
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