The Riddler: Can Bruce Wayne and Batman ever truly coexist? We'll find out today! But first, let's meet our contestants! Behind curtain number one... [the Riddler reveals Chase Meridian tied up and hung in a container high up in the room] The Riddler: The absolute fabulous Dr. Chase Meridian. She enjoys hiking, getting her nails done, and foolisihly hopes to be the love of Bruce's life! And behind curtain number two... [the Riddler reveals an identical container nearby Chase's. This one has Robin tied up] The Riddler: Batman's one and only partner. This acrobat-turned orphan likes Saturday morning cartoons and one day dreams being... The Riddler: [whispers] ... bare naked with a girl! The Riddler: And below these contestants... my personal favorite. A watery grave! [the Riddler reveals two holes in the floor leading into a dark pit. Both are underneath the two containers] The Riddler: [points to his scepter] Just one little touch, and you're two friends are *gull feed* on the rocks below. Not enough time to save them both. Which will it be, Batman? Bruce's love or the Dark Knight's junior partner? [the Riddler imitates a game show timer while Batman ponders in thought] Batman: There is no way for me to save them or myself. This is all one giant death trap. The Riddler: Judges? The Riddler: [makes a buzzer noise] I'm sorry. Your answer must be in the form of a question. But thank you for playing. [the Riddler begins to push the button on his scepter] Batman: Wait! I have a riddle for you! The Riddler: For me? Really? Tell me. Batman: I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I? The Riddler: Please! You're as blind as a bat! Batman: Exactly. [throws a batarang at his throne]
[Jay and Silent Bob are hitchhiking on a road late at night] Jay: I can't belive this shit. Five hours and not a single ride. Every day people hitch to Hollywood to stop studios from making films about 'em, but when you and me try it, it's like we're trapped in a fuckin' cartoon. [the Mystery Machine van from the Scooby Doo cartoons pulls up alongside Jay and Silent Bob]
Steve: Yeah, I know, the women folk don't seem to truly appreciate the finer things in life like cartoons and the gratuitous violence of the Three Stooges...
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