[At a soap opera awards show, Joey accepted an award on an absent actress' behalf] Rachel: Joey, you can't steal an award. Joey: I'm not stealing it. I'm accepting it on her behalf. Rachel: You don't even know what behalf means. Joey: I know what it means. It's a verb. As in, I behalfing it.
Toni: Michael... I think you just won the Asshole of the Year Award.
All I can say is thank God Buffy's off the air, I was starting to feel like Susan Lucci (on winning her first Saturn Award).
Gina Morrison: So, where are you from? Do you live around here? Dave: Yes, of course. I am just a regular person from right here on Earth, just like you. I just don't get out that much. Gina Morrison: Yeah, judging from your suit, I'd say since about 1978. [laughs] Captain: Note: all-white apparel is not as standardized as we thought. Gina Morrison: [laughing] You late for a Bee Gees concert or something? Dave: Bee Gees. Barry, Robin and Maurice. The brothers Gibb. Winning ten Grammy Awards and selling over 100 million records. Dave: [high-pitched, fast singing] Well, you can tell by the way I can use my walk / I'm a woman's man, no time to talk / Eh, Eh, Eh, Eh, Stayin' Alive / Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Bob Dobalina: My spots for the MAV Cancer Center swept the healthy awards last year. At the awards banquet, when they were played, not only did people listen, but they applauded. APPLAUDED. How many writers do you think can make cancer entertaining? Screenwriter's Assistant: What about James L. Brooks? He wrote 'Terms of Endearment'. Filled with cancer. Big box office. Screenplay nominated for an Oscar. Bob Dobalina: I can't tell you how much I hated that movie.
Miss Ungermeyer: You tell us where Lizzie is or this deck is gonna catch some serious air! Ethan: Well it's possible that she's at the Italian Music Video Awards doubling for the Italian pop star Isabella who's like totally her twin. [pause] Ethan: Why does everyone always look at me like that?
Dumbledore: You both realize, of course, that in the past few hours you have broken perhaps a dozen school rules. Harry, Ron: Yes, sir. Dumbledore: And that there is sufficient evidence to have you both expelled. Harry, Ron: Yes, sir. Dumbledore: Therefore, it is only fitting that you both receive... [beams] Dumbledore: Special awards for services to the school.
Lucille Bluth: I'm going to Annyong's soccer awards ceremony, and... Annyong: Annyong. [everyone glares at Annyong] Lucille Bluth: ...and I don't need the other soccer moms knowing how old my first batch of kids are. Gob: Yeah, I think that they're gonna know that Annyong's not... Annyong: Annyong. Gob: [screaming] ... would somebody *please* tell this insufferable child to... GOD.
Lance: It looks like the Source Awards in here... [Conspiracy Brother punches him] Conspiracy Brother: It does now!
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