Tyler Durden: Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned- Tyler.
Mary Katherine Gallagher: Oh my God! Jesus: Oh my Me! How are you? Mary Katherine Gallagher: It's going OK. Are you the Lord? Jesus: Well, to you I am. See, technically, you're, like, in this REM sleep state, and I'm a mixture of your mind's images of God, some past authority figures, uh, Skye, and your dad. Basically, your subconcsious came up with me to help you deal. Dig? Mary Katherine Gallagher: Yeah... uh, you want a glass of water or something? Jesus: No, I'm good. I'm God! Mary Katherine Gallagher: Oh. Right.
[Beldar tears open the roof to Ronnie's car] Ronnie: H-hi, Mr. Conehead. Beldar Conehead: I find you unacceptable! Ronnie: Yes, sir. Beldar Conehead: If I did not fear incarceration from human authority figures, I would terminate your life functions by applying sufficient pressure to your blunt skull so as to force its collapse! Ronnie: Th-thank you.
Squidward Tentacles: So you're selling Krabby Patties, eh Plankton? Plankton: That's right, Squidward, and there's a free bucket helmet with every purchase. Care for one? Squidward Tentacles: No. You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can't fool me. I listen to public radio. Plankton: And what's that supposed to mean? Squidward Tentacles: It means you set up Mr. Krabs. You stole the crown so Neptune would freeze him and you could finally get your stubby paws on the Krabby Patty formula. It was you all along. But you made one fatal mistake. You messed with my paycheck and I'm gonna report you to the highest authority in the land, King Neptune! Plankton: We'll see about that, Inspector Looselips. [Plankton laughs and he presses a button on Karen] Karen the Computer: Now activating helmet brain-control devices. Squidward Tentacles: Huh?
Agent J: Sweet dreams, big boy! [jabs the tranquilizer into Jeff, only aggravating him. After a few moments time, J reloads the tranquilizer] Agent J: Whoo! Sweet... [is launched forward] Agent J: dreeeeeeaaaaaaams... Agent J: [crashes through back window of a subway car] ... big boy. Transit authority people! Please move to the forward car, we got a bug in the electrical system! [passengers ignore him] Agent J: Yo! People! We got a bug in the electrical system! [Jeff bites off a large portion of the subway car, and the passengers start running to the front] Agent J: Yeah, now y'all runnin'! Now y'all- no, no, no, come on, sit down, sit down! It's only a 600 foot worm!
Dolores Umbridge: Pardon me, Professor, but what exactly are you insinuating? Minerva McGonagall: I am merely requesting that when it comes to my students you conform to the prescribed disciplinary practices. Dolores Umbridge: So silly of me, but it sounds as if you're questioning my authority in my own classroom, Minerva. Minerva McGonagall: Not at all, Dolores, merely your medieval methods. Dolores Umbridge: I am sorry, dear, but to question my practices is to question the Ministry, and by extension, the Minister himself. I am a tolerant woman, but the one thing I will not stand for is disloyalty. Minerva McGonagall: Disloyalty? Dolores Umbridge: Things at Hogwarts are far worse than I feared.
Noah Vosen: When we're finished with Daniels, send the asset after her. We find Parsons, we find Bourne. Pamela Landy: Noah, what are you doing? Noah Vosen: Not now. Pamela Landy: I want to know what's going on. Noah Vosen: I said not now. Pamela Landy: What basis are you continuing this operation on? Noah Vosen: The basis that Nicky Parsons has compromised a covert operation. She is up to her neck in this. Pamela Landy: This is about Daniels, not Nicky. Noah Vosen: She has betrayed us. Pamela Landy: You don't know the circumstances, Noah. Noah Vosen: She's in league with Jason Bourne, for Christ's sake. Pamela Landy: You do not have the authority to kill her. Noah Vosen: Oh yes I do! And you had better get on board. Pamela Landy: Noah, she's one of us. You start down this path, where does it end? Noah Vosen: It ends when we've won.
Sam Rogers: We're in the middle of the jungle Jack, at this point your authority is what we say it is.
Eris: I have a question? If you don't believe in God then why give any of this a second thought? Zeus: Well, I believe in defying authority, and what greater authority is there to defy than God?
Hunter: Captain Ramsey, under operating procedures governing the release of nuclear weapons we cannot launch our missiles unless both you, and I agree. Capt. Ramsey: [shouting over Hunter] COB, what're you waiting for? Hunter: This is not a formality sir, this is *expressly* why your command must be repeated. It requires my assent, I *do not* give it and further more, you continue upon this course, and insist upon this launch without confirming this message first... Capt. Ramsey: [shouting over Hunter] Son of a bitch. As commanding officer of the U.S.S Alabama I order you to place the X-O under arrest under charges of mutiny. Hunter: I will act, backed by the rules of precedence... Capt. Ramsey: [shouting at COB, over Hunter] I say again, as commanding officer of the U.S.S Alabama, I *order you*... Hunter: -authority in command, regulations number 815, to relieve, you, of, command, captain. Capt. Ramsey: -to place the X-O under arrest, under charges of mutiny! [Silence all round] Capt. Ramsey: COB! Chief of the Boat: Captain, please, the X-O is right. We can't launch unless he concurs. Capt. Ramsey: [reads EAM] "To the U.S.S. Alabama: Rebel-controlled missiles being fueled. Launch codes compromised, dissidents threaten to launch at continental United States, set defcon 2. Immediately launch ten Trident missile sorties." They're FUELLING THEIR MISSILES! We don't have time to fuck around! Hunter: Sir, I think you need time to think this over. Capt. Ramsey: *I* DON'T HAVE TO THINK THIS OVER! Hunter: [stares at Ramsey, nodding] Captain, I relieve you of your command of this ship. COB, escort the Captain to his state room, I'm assuming command. Capt. Ramsey: You're not assuming anything! Hunter: CHIEF OF THE BOAT, Captain Ramsey is under arrest, lock him in his state room! Chief of the Boat: Captain, please... Hunter: NOW, COB!
Uncle Ben: Well, girls, I'm really not an authority on this. Holly Hamilton: What makes today's perfect man perfect? What is it that he says or does that makes him a woman's perfect man?
Gandalf: Authority is not given to you to deny the return of the king, *steward*. Denethor: The rule of Gondor is mine! And no other's!
Vincent: You are the authority on what is not possible, aren't you Irene? They've got you looking for any flaw, that after a while that's all you see. For what it's worth, I'm here to tell you that it is possible. It is possible.
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