Jack Friar:
[about to be executed] You think because you've already killed somebody, killing me's no big deal? You kill me and every cop on the planet's work takes a sudden vacation. You become the case that never closes, the guy they never stop hunting. You be job one. Pay attention Erin, 'cause this applies to you too. When they catch you, where ever they catch you, they're gonna subdue you. And they're gonna subdue you substantially. Then they're gonna tell you to run, and that's gonna confuse you, 'cause you never heard that before. Then your animal brain is gonna kick in with survival mode, telling you stupid shit like, hey, they're lettin' me go. So you'll run.
Tyrone:
And then what?
Jack Friar:
Then they shoot your dumb ass.
Breanna Barnes:
[Running in with Spirit and displaying their outfits] Okay, Grandma, what do you think about these for the 'Lil Zane concert?
Eunice Barnes:
Colorful, tasteful, not too sexy...
Breanna Barnes:
Oh, dang, I gotta go change! [Turns to leave]
Eunice Barnes:
No, no! Now that's a good thing. You think the girls who show their bosom are going to get more attention than you at the concert?
Breanna Barnes, Spirit Jones:
[Glance at each other] Uh, yeah!
Eunice Barnes:
You're also going to get a baby at 16, and if you make me a great-grandmother at the tender age of 41, I'm going to have to hurt you.
Breanna Barnes:
Um, 41?
Eunice Barnes:
Hush, child.
John Givings:
You a lawyer, Frank?
Frank Wheeler:
No, I'm not.
John Givings:
I could use a lawyer...
Mr. Howard Givings:
John, let's not get started again about the lawyer.
John Givings:
Pop, couldn't you just sit there and eat your wonderful egg salad, and quit horning in? [Returns his attention to Frank]
John Givings:
See, I've got a good many questions to ask and I'm willing to pay for the answers... Now, I don't need to be told that a man who goes after his mother with a coffee table is putting himself in a weak position, legally; that's obvious.
Mrs. Helen Givings:
John, come and have a look out this fabulous picture window. [She walks to the window]
John Givings:
If he hits her with it and kills her, that's a criminal case...
Mrs. Helen Givings:
Oh, look, the sun's coming out!
John Givings:
If all he does is break the coffee table and give her a certain amount of aggravation and she decides to go to court over it, that's a civil case...
Mrs. Helen Givings:
Maybe we'll see a rainbow! John, come have a look...
John Givings:
Ma, how about doing everybody a favor? How about shutting up?
Hunter:
Captain, here's the results from the missile drill.
Capt. Ramsey:
[looks at the missile drill results] Is this the best they can do?
Hunter:
No sir. But, that's what they did.
Capt. Ramsey:
I want this down in five minutes. Train on it.
Hunter:
Yes, sir.
Capt. Ramsey:
Tell your buddy Weps to do it again, and keep on doing it until he gets it right.
Hunter:
Yes, sir.
Capt. Ramsey:
It looks like the whole crew needs a kick in the ass.
Hunter:
Or a pat on the back, sir. I have witnessed a fight down in crew's mess, no big deal. It appears that the crew is a bit on edge about all we're going through. Morale seems a bit low.
Capt. Ramsey:
[picks up the intercom and speaks into it] May I have your attention please, crew of the Alabama, Mr. Hunter has brought it to my attention that Morale maybe a bit low. and you might be a bit... [looks to Hunter]
Hunter:
[whispers] On edge.
Capt. Ramsey:
[over the intercom] On edge. so, I suggest this. Any crew member who thinks that they can't handle the situation, can leave the ship right now. Gentlemen, we are at DEFCON 3, war is imminent. This the captain. That is all. [hangs up the intercom]
Hunter:
Very inspiring, sir.
[Leo is timing Chester for the 60 seconds he has to explain to Ted about the whole situation]
Leo:
Begin.
Chester:
Okay, Ted, pay attention here. I'm going to make two piles on the bar. One pile which is yours. And another pile which *could* be yours. And what you have to realize is we're gonna do this thing one way... or the other. Whether it's *you* who holds the axe or a Mexican maid or some bum we yank off the street.
Norman:
[about the money on the bar] You could buy a whole lot of soup with that pile.
Chester:
Shh! I'm the closer here. All right, I'm a little me - um, I've lost count. How much is on the bar here?
Group:
Six hundred.
Chester:
Okay, Ted, do you know how long it takes the average American to count to 600?
Ted the Bellhop:
[Thinks for a bit]
Angela:
It's a rhetorical question, Ted.
Ted the Bellhop:
No, sir.
Chester:
About one minute less than it takes to count to 700. Now Ted, a person's life is filled with a zillion little experiences. Some which are insignificant, have no meaning, and, you know, you forget them. Others which you remember for the rest of your natural life. Now, since what we're proposing here is so unusual, so outside the norm, this is a good bet that is going to be one of those incidents that sticks. So, since you're gonna be stuck remembering this for the rest of your life, you have to decide what that memory will be. So, Ted, are you going to remember for the next 40 years, give or take a decade, that you *refused* a $1000 for one second's worth of work? Or that you *made* $1000 for one second's worth of work?
Leo:
Time!
Chester:
So, Ted, what's it gonna be?
Ted the Bellhop:
Okay.
