[discussing Lars' music video]
Lars:
No, no, no, cut, cut.
Lars' agent:
What's the problem?
Lars:
Well, the problem is you can't fight off an army of blood-thirsty Vikings with a shenai, it's illogical.
Lars' agent:
No, no, see, you're lulling them into submission with the music. See, that's the whole point of the song, really, mystic surrender. [the Viking is covering his ears in agony]
Lars:
You don't think he looks like he hates the music?
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
[Lee and Longstreet are discussing Harrison's report on the Union army on the night of 30 June] He says the lead element is here with the Third Corps... [he points on the map]
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
... the Sixth right behind... [he points to a different spot]
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
... supported by a column of Federal cavalry. Seven corps altogether. The First and Eleventh are above Taneytown, and there's more cavalry two hours east. There may be as many as 100,000 altogether.
General Robert E. Lee:
Do you believe the man, this Mr. Harrison?
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
No choice. Oh, you remember him, sir; the actor from Mississippi?
General Robert E. Lee:
An actor? We move on the word of an actor?
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
Can't afford not to.
General Robert E. Lee:
[Lee takes off his glasses and sits down in a camp chair] There would be some word from General Stuart. General Stuart would not leave us blind.
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
Oh, one other thing. Hooker's been replaced. George Meade's the new commander. Harrison read it in the Yankee papers.
General Robert E. Lee:
[thoughtfully] George Meade. Pennsylvania man. Meade would be cautious, I think. Take him some time to get organized. Perhaps we should move more swiftly. There may be an opportunity here.
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
Yes, sir.
General Robert E. Lee:
Well... [Lee gets up and walks back over to the map table]
General Robert E. Lee:
... no reason to delay. I think we should concentrate here. [he points to a spot on the map]
General Robert E. Lee:
All the roads converge just east of this gap, and this junction will be very necessary.
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
Yes, sir.
General Robert E. Lee:
I left my spectacles over there. What is the name of this town?
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
[Longstreet leans over and reads the name on the map] "Gettysburg."
General Robert E. Lee:
Very well.
Gerry:
I conquered Thebes.
Gerry:
When?
Gerry:
Two weeks ago.
Gerry:
How'd you do it?
Gerry:
Well, I got... I did more than that, actually. I said to Gerry, "I ruled this land for ninety-seven years... and, uh... and, uh, I'd like it." I had all the sanctuaries built. And then I, uh... this hot lava leaked out of a volcano, and half destroyed one of the - my sanctuary to, uh... Demeter, I guess it was. And, um... but I didn't have the... the marble to rebuild, like, the sculptures, and the - to fix the sanctuary. But I already had all these, um, docks, to, like, Calydon and... Argos, and... I had everything. I had everything. Um, I was trading with, like, twelve cities. And, uh... I had-I had a really good army. But, um, the river had - the river had just flooded. And it flooded out, like, four of my docks, and I couldn't import the marble, to rebuild the sanctuary. And she got - Demeter got really pissed off, and so she made my fields infertile. And then, uh... so I couldn't grow the grass. I couldn't grow the wheat, to feed the horses. And there was no... I couldn't... and there was nowhere for the sheep to graze... and the goats. And so my people were getting hungry and restless, and then, um... and so I, I couldn't trade because the - the rivers had flooded. And so, uh, Knossos, one of my vassals, got really upset with me, and, um... turned against me. And they, uh... attacked me. And because I couldn't, I couldn't train any sheep 'cause I didn't have the wheat. I didn't have, uh... I didn't have a, um... a, uh...
Gerry:
You couldn't train any sheep?
Gerry:
I couldn't train any of the *horses*, because I, uh, didn't have the wheat. And so, when they attacked me, I just got... they just dogged me. And I actually went to send my army out to defend the city, and, like, you can only send 'em out if you have, uh, twelve - if you have twelve, uh, trained horses, and I had eleven. So... I was one... horse... shy... I don't know... of saving the city.
Gerry:
So then you didn't really...
Gerry:
Oh, I *had* conquered Theb - I had just conquered Thebes. And then that happened.
Kent Mansley:
Your mom's working late tonight, Hogarth, so it's just us guys, and we're gonna have a little chat. Sit down! [shoves Hogarth onto a chair and shines a bright light on him]
Kent Mansley:
How's that? A little too bright? Good. Forgive me, Hogarth. I wanted you to learn something.
Hogarth Hughes:
What can I learn from you?
Kent Mansley:
You can learn this, Hogart. That I can do anything I want, whenever I want if I feel it's in the people's best interest. The giant metal man. Where is it?
Hogarth Hughes:
I don't know what you're talking about.
Kent Mansley:
You don't? Does this ring a bell? [lays down the picture Hogarth took of the aluminum siding he used to lure the Giant]
Kent Mansley:
No? How about this? [lays down the photo Hogarth accidentally took of himself - with the Giant behind him]
Kent Mansley:
You've been careless, Hogarth.
Hogarth Hughes:
It doesn't prove anything.
Kent Mansley:
It's enough to get the army here with one phone call.
Hogarth Hughes:
Then what's stopping you?
Kent Mansley:
[angry] Where's the giant? [Grabs Hogarth by the jaw]
Kent Mansley:
You can't protect him, Hogarth, anymore than you can... protect your mother.
Hogarth Hughes:
My mom?
Kent Mansley:
It's difficult to raise a boy all alone. We can make it more difficult. In fact, we can make it so difficult that it would be irresponsible for us to leave you in her care, and all that that implies. You'll be taken away from her, Hogarth.
Hogarth Hughes:
You can't do that!
Kent Mansley:
Oh, we can, and we will.
Hogarth Hughes:
He's at the junkyard. McCoppin's Scrap off Culver Road.
Kent Mansley:
The junkyard, of course! Food for the metal eater. I wouldn't worry about this, Hogarth. This isn't really happening. It's only... a bad dream. [puts a chloroform rag on Hogarth's mouth, leaving him unconscious]
[Noticing Dr. Evil's spaceship on radar]
Radar Operator:
Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
Colonel:
What is it, son?
Radar Operator:
I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...
Jet Pilot:
Dick. Dick, take a look out of starboard.
Co-Pilot:
Oh my God, it looks like a huge...
Bird-Watching Woman:
Pecker.
Bird-Watching Man:
[raising binoculars] Ooh, Where?
Bird-Watching Woman:
Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...
Army Sergeant:
Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...
Baseball Umpire:
Two balls. [looking up from game]
Baseball Umpire:
What is that. It looks just like an enormous...
Chinese Teacher:
Wang. pay attention.
Wang:
I was distracted by that giant flying...
Musician:
Willie.
Willie:
Yeah?
Musician:
What's that?
Willie:
[squints] Well, that looks like a huge...
Colonel:
Johnson.
Radar Operator:
Yes, sir?
Colonel:
Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.
Captain Lennox:
Sam! Where's the Cube?
Sam Witwicky:
Right there!
Captain Lennox:
Epps, get those Blackhawks here! [sees a building]
Captain Lennox:
That building... okay!
Sam Witwicky:
What?
Captain Lennox:
All right, I can't leave my guys back there, so here, take this flare... [hands him the flare and the All Spark]
Captain Lennox:
Okay, there's a tall white building with statues on top. Go to the roof, set the flare...
Sam Witwicky:
No...
Captain Lennox:
Signal the chopper, and...
Sam Witwicky:
I can't do this!
Captain Lennox:
[grabs him] Listen to me, you're a soldier now! All right, I need you to take this Cube, get it into military hands while we hold them off, or a lot of people are gonna die. [to Mikaela]
Captain Lennox:
You gotta go, you gotta go...!
Mikaela:
No, I'm not leaving.
Captain Lennox:
You need to go!
Mikaela:
No, I'm not leaving until I get Bumblee out of here! Okay?
USAF Master Sgt. Epps:
[into radio] Army Blackhawk, requesting immediate evac for civilian boy with precious cargo, headed to rooftop marked by flare.
Ironhide:
Sam, we will protect you.
Sam Witwicky:
[breathing heavily] Okay...
Mitch:
[after being interrupted yet again, Mitch has had enough] Hey turn down the music for minute... Hey would you turn down the music?
Kid at Stereo:
Dude, chill.
Mitch:
Would you turn down the fucking music for a minute! Jesus! [Mitch turns the power off on the stereo and turns to everyone]
Mitch:
This is fucking bullshit! I have been here all goddamned day and you haven't let me say one thing! None of you!
Monty:
Well, damn, Mitch, I...
Mitch:
Oh, no, asshole! You shut the fuck up now. It's my turn to talk! You're all fucked in the head! All of you! I mean you. [points at Naomi]
Mitch:
Change your fuckin' tampon and have another drink you crazy, fuckin' bitch! [Points at Dean]
Mitch:
And you! "Waaahh, I don't know what to be when I grow up!" Join the fucking army or something! Goddamn. [Points at Calvin]
Mitch:
Oh, and you! You know what? You're too easy. And you. [Points to Monty]
Mitch:
FUCK YOU MONTY! Always gotta be right, with your little quips! We get it, man. You're fuckin' edgy and cool. Yeah! You're the coolest fuckin' guy at Shenaniganz! WHOOO! That's like being the smartest kid with Down syndrome! Oh and, oh, yeah. Why aren't you in jail? I mean what [looks at Natasha]
Mitch:
are you like 13, 14?
Monty:
She's almost 18.
Mitch:
You know what? Fuck this! You all suck. I quit. [Goes to leave and gets to the door and turns around]
Mitch:
Oh, and yeah. There is one more thing. [Points at Floyd]
Mitch:
You... You are the biggest piece of shit in this entire restaurant. [Floyd looks around to see if Mitch is actually talking to him]
Mitch:
And I hope you burn in hell.
Floyd:
Me? What the fuck did I do to you, man? Seriously?
Raddimus:
[Mitch pulls down his pants and everyone says "Oh shit!] The goat! The goat, you bastard!
Mitch:
[Mitch pulls up his pants and opens the door and walks out] Fuckin' faggots.
Monty:
That was the shit! [he runs out after Mitch]
Monty:
Mitch! Mitch! Stop please. Look, look. Stop, stop. Okay I am sorry, and I hearby swear my undying allegiance to you. You are the fucking man.
Vassili Zaitsev:
[Vassili sees his own picture while reading the Red Army newspaper as it is coming off the press] That's me. [he reads the caption]
Vassili Zaitsev:
"Vassili Zaitsev." That's me!
Danilov:
No, you're not dreaming! It's your name! We made the front page! They haven't changed a word! Do you have any idea what this means? It's not the back page. It's not the second page. It's the front page.
Danilov, Vassili Zaitsev:
[together] The front page!
Danilov:
They're going to reprint our article everywhere, in the Caucasus, in the Crimea... even in the Urals! [he laughs]
Danilov:
Tomorrow morning, Stalin himself will be sitting over breakfast, reading my words, memorizing your name. We're famous, Vassili. Khrushchev loved the article. He's promoted me to the General Staff... and you... to sniper division.
Vassili Zaitsev:
Well, that's good.
Danilov:
It's *very* good.
Vassili Zaitsev:
It's very good. It's great.
Danilov:
It's *very* great!
Vassili Zaitsev:
It's great!
Danilov:
It's great!
Vassili Zaitsev:
It's great!
Danilov:
For *both* of us, because we did it together. [Vassili laughs]
Danilov:
Together. Although, admittedly, I did all the hard work.
Vassili Zaitsev:
Oh, yeah? [he pushes Danilov playfully, then chases him around some desks]
Danilov:
You know, you're very lucky I can't fight back.
Vassili Zaitsev:
Why's that?
Danilov:
Because Khrushchev told me to make sure that nothing happens to you! You're too important!
Vassili Zaitsev:
I'm too valuable! [he keeps hitting Danilov playfully]
Danilov:
Yes! Careful of my - careful of my glasses, please. They're new.
Vassili Zaitsev:
[Vassili gives Danilov a salute and a smile] Sorry, sir.
Danilov:
[Danilov slaps Vassili playfully] I'm sorr - [they start laughing and wrestling around]
Danilov:
I'm famous!
Vassili Zaitsev:
*I'm* famous!
Danilov:
*We're* famous!
Vassili Zaitsev:
*I'm* famous!
Danilov:
We're famous!
Vassili Zaitsev:
We're famous!
[reading about why they joined the Army]
Pvt. Tommy Lee Haywood:
There's these woods behind our trailer park. This old guy lives in the woods there. Everybody in town swore he was crazy. He showed me how to hunt, and how to be real quiet, and how to listen. He said he had seen everythin' in the world he wanted to see, and he ain't never wanted to leave those woods. Well, me and my daddy got laid off at the paper mill, and whilst I spent about five months watchin' TV with my brothers, I kept thinkin' of what the old man said. Finally, I decided that I did want to see more of the world, and what was behind that trailer park. And that's why I joined up.
Private Miranda Myers:
I liked livin' with my aunt, Mavis, in Chicago the best. But last summer, my mother, Ruthie, came back and we drove to Atlanta. She said, "We don't have to stay long," but then she met a man, and they take off. I waited around for a while, waitin' for her to come back, but everybody keep sayin', "Just go on home." I don't know where that is. So I take the bus to Cleaveland and spend two days starin' at the poster behind the driver sayin', "Be all you can be." So I think about that for a week, and think I gotta be somewhere, so here I am.
Pvt. Jamaal Mongomerey:
In my crib, there ain't never been a time where we eat, sleep, or nothin'. Y'know, everybody just run around crazy. Half the time, I don't even know who were are. I must be the only person in the world who joined the army so he'd know what time he'd eat.
Pvt. Roosevelt Nathaniel Hobbs:
I wanted to learn a new trade.
Princess Nuala:
[with the others in the meat-locker] To wage his war, my brother needs this. [holding the crown piece and cylinder]
Princess Nuala:
The final piece of the crown of BethMora and this map to the location of the Golden Army chamber.
Johann Krauss:
The Golden Army. The harbingers of death, the unstoppable tide...
Hellboy:
[under his breath] Howdy Doody.
Johann Krauss:
Your Highness, if you hand the crown piece over to us...
Princess Nuala:
No. Where it goes, I go. My father died to uphold the truce with your world. We must honor his noble intentions.
Abe Sapien:
The lady is in dire danger.
Johann Krauss:
I take is your are vouching for her, Agent Sapien?
Abe Sapien:
Most emphatically, yes.
Johann Krauss:
Even so... I am sorry, but we simply cannot assume such responsibility on our own.
Hellboy:
[getting in Johann's face] Lady just lost her father, what more do you want?
Johann Krauss:
You may not care, but there are procedures, rules, and little handbooks that...
Hellboy:
She's coming with us. You got that, gasbag?
Johann Krauss:
[offended] What-what did you call me?
Prince Nuada:
[from behind the group] You! You will pay for what happened to my friend down there.
Hellboy:
[turning to face him, sarcastically] Yeah, right. You take checks?
Prince Nuada:
[enraged] Demon. Born from a womb of shadows, sent to destroy their world and you still believe you belong?
Hellboy:
Are we going to talk all night? Because I'm really sleepy.
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
This is almost perfect, now we got them where we want them. Swing south and east, down the road, get between them and Lincoln, find some good high ground, then they'll have to hit us, they'll have to, we'll have them, sir.
General Robert E. Lee:
You mean disengage?
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
Well sir, I've always been under the impression that it was our strategy to conduct a defensive campaign wherever possible in order to keep the army intact.
General Robert E. Lee:
Granted, but the situation has changed now.
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
In what way?
General Robert E. Lee:
We've already pushed them back, they're on the run, vacating the town. How can we move off to the south and the east in the face of the enemy? What are you thinking, General?
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
Maybe we should not have fought here?
General Robert E. Lee:
I know that. But we have prevailed. The men have prevailed.
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
Yes sir, they have always done that. But in the morning we may be outnumbered, and they'll be entrenched on the high ground.
General Robert E. Lee:
General, you know as well as I, we have never concerned ourselves with being outnumbered.
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
That is true, sir, you are right. If we move to the south to Washington, they have to pursue us, and then we can fight on ground of our choosing.
General Robert E. Lee:
But the enemy is here! We did not want the fight but the fight is here! How can I ask this army to retreat in the face of what they have done this day?
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
Not retreat, sir. Re-deploy.
General Robert E. Lee:
Our guns will move them off that hill or Ewell will push them off. But if Meade is there tomorrow, I cannot move this army away, no sir, I will attack him.
Lieutenant General James Longstreet:
General, if Meade is up there tomorrow, it is because he wants us to attack him. We pushed back two corps, but there are five more coming.
Ed Leland:
[seeing Linda for the first time in six months after their passionate affair, and he has come strolling in with a stunning brunette] You can come work for me while I'm here, I can always use a good secretary.
Linda Voss:
This is all so civilized, Edward. That's what you like, isn't it? Civilized people, polite ladies with pedigrees who look good at the opera, and never make you laugh too hard, and never make you feel too much. I've had a lot of time to think about this and don't tell me it's the war, when I've been waiting for six months to hear whether you're dead or alive and you waltz into a nightclub.
Ed Leland:
Linda, I came in last night and I was going to call you.
Linda Voss:
Oh, go to hell. [He grabs her arm]
Linda Voss:
Careful, Ed. You might have to admit you know me.
Ed Leland:
Linda, it is the war.
Linda Voss:
You're so noble, Ed.
Ed Leland:
Did I promise you something? If I did, I'd like to know.
Army SSG in Canteen:
Excuse me sir, I thought the young lady might like to dance.
Ed Leland:
The lady is busy.
Linda Voss:
I'd love to dance [she starts dancing with soldier]
Ed Leland:
I'm cutting in.
Linda Voss:
Don't let him.
Army SSG in Canteen:
Excuse me sir, but I don't think the young lady wants to dance with you.
Ed Leland:
Don't try it, or I'll leave here with your Adam's Apple in my pocket.
Linda Voss:
What do you want from me?
Ed Leland:
I want you to stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Linda Voss:
No, you want me to stop feeling, like you... You did love me, didn't you? I couldn't have been wrong.
Ed Leland:
You weren't.
Linda Voss:
Well then how do you stop, or want to? [crying]
Colonel Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain:
[Chamberlain is addressing his junior officers before the Confederate assault on Little Round Top] Gentlemen... the 83rd Pennsylvania, 44th New York, and 16th Michigan will be moving in to our right. But if you look to our left, you will see that there is no one there. It's because we're the end of the line. The Union army stops here. We are the flank. Do you understand, gentlemen? We cannot retreat. We cannot withdraw. We are going to have to be stubborn today. So, you put the boys in position, you tell them to stay down. Pile the rocks up high; get the best protection you can. I want the reserve pulled up about 20 yards. This is sloping ground, it's good ground. If you have any breakthroughs, if you have men wounded, if you have a hole in the line, you plug it with the reserve. How are we fixed for ammunition?
Capt. Ellis Spear:
Sir, I think about 60 rounds per man.
Colonel Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain:
That's good. 60 rounds. I think - I... yes, that's adequate. Any questions?
Young 20th Maine Officer:
Colonel... seems to me the fighting's on that side of the hill.
Older 20th Maine Officer:
Yep. Seems to me that we're the back door. Everything's goin' on at the front door. [all but Chamberlain laugh]
Colonel Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain:
Well, gentlemen, that hill is steep. It's rocky. It's bare. To come straight up it is impossible. No. The Reb army is going to swing around. It's gonna come up through that notch right over there. It'll move under the cover of trees, try to get 'round the flank. And gentlemen... *we* are the flank. Gentlemen. [he salutes, and all the others return it]
Colonel Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain:
God go with you.
