Carter Chambers:
[in his letter to Edward] Dear Edward, I've gone back and forth the last few days trying to decide whether or not I should even write this. In the end, I realized I would regret it if I didn't, so here it goes. I know the last time we saw each other, we weren't exactly hitting the sweetest notes-certain wasn't the way I wanted the trip to end. I suppose I'm responsible and for that, I'm sorry. But in all honestly, if I had the chance, I'd do it again. Virginia said I left a stranger and came back a husband; I owe that to you. There's no way I can repay you for all you've done for me, so rather than try, I'm just going to ask you to do something else for me-find the joy in your life. You once said you're not everyone. Well, that's true-you're certainly not everyone, but everyone is everyone. My pastor always says our lives are streams flowing into the same river towards whatever heaven lies in the mist beyond the falls. Find the joy in your life, Edward. My dear friend, close your eyes and let the waters take you home.
Randal Graves:
So, your argument is that title dictates behavior?
Dante Hicks:
What?
Randal Graves:
The reason you won't let me use your car is because I have a title and a job description, and I'm supposed to follow it, right?
Dante Hicks:
Exactly.
Tabloid Reading Customer:
I saw one, one time, that said, "The next week, the world is ending." And in the next week's paper, they said, "We were miraculously saved at the zero hour by a koala-fish mutant bird." Crazy shit.
Randal Graves:
So, I'm no more responsible for my decisions here than, say, a Death Squad soldier in Bosnia?
Dante Hicks:
Oh, now, that's stretching it. You're not being asked to slay children or anything.
Randal Graves:
Yeah, not yet. [takes a drink of water]
Tabloid Reading Customer:
And I remember this one time- [Randal spits water at him]
Tabloid Reading Customer:
I'm going to break your fucking head! You fucking jerk-off!
Dante Hicks:
Sir! Sir, I'm sorry! He meant to hit me.
Tabloid Reading Customer:
Yeah, well, he missed!
Dante Hicks:
Yeah, I know. Here, let me refund your money, and we'll call it even, alright?
Tabloid Reading Customer:
I'll never come in here again. [to Randal]
Tabloid Reading Customer:
And if I see you again, I'm gonnna break your fucking head open! [Randal salutes him as he leaves]
Dante Hicks:
What the fuck'd you do that for?
Randal Graves:
Two reasons. One, I hate it when people can't shut up about the stupid tabloid headlines.
Dante Hicks:
Oh, Jesus!
Randal Graves:
And two, to prove a point. Title does not dictate behavior.
Dante Hicks:
What?
Randal Graves:
If title dictated my behavior, as a clerk serving the public, I wouldn't be allowed to spit water at that guy. But I did. So, my point is that people dictate their own behavior. Even though I work in a video store, I choose to go rent movies at Big Choice. Agreed?
Dante Hicks:
[gives Randal his car keys] You are a danger to both the dead and the living.
Randal Graves:
I like to think I'm a master of my own destiny.
Dante Hicks:
Please, get the hell outta here.
Randal Graves:
You know I'm your hero.
Stanley Goodspeed:
"I'd take pleasure in guttin' you, boy. I'd take pleasure in guttin' you... boy." What is wrong with these people, huh? Mason? Don't you think there's a lot of, uh, a lot of anger flowing around this island? Kind of a pubescent volatility? Don't you think? A lotta angst, a lot of "I'm sixteen, I'm angry at my father" syndrome? I mean grow up! We're stuck on an island with a bunch of violence-for-pleasure-seeking psycophatic marines, SHAME-ON-THEM! [clears throat]
Stanley Goodspeed:
Anyway, I only got one chem round, and there's two left... Mason?
John Mason:
Yes, I'm here. I was just thinking how wonderful it was when the inmates weren't allowed to talk in here.
interrogator [female]:
Samantha Carter?
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter:
Yes.
interrogator [female]:
It's common knowledge that 4 years ago, a computer failure forced the space shuttle Intrepid's main engines to shut down before it could reach a safe orbit or secondary landing site. When the auto pilot also failed mission commander, Samantha Carter, stayed behind to fly it while her crew bailed out of the escape hatch. The orbiter went down over the Atlantic and her body was never recovered.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter:
It wasn't me.
interogator [female]:
You just said you name... [Sam cuts her off]
interogator [female]:
[Cam, Sam, and Daniel are being interogated, all talking at the same time]
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter:
I was recruited into the Stargate program in my timeline not N.A.S.A...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
Stargate Command is a branch of the United States Air Force, founded in nineteen-ninety I forget the exact year; for the purpose of exploration and just... it operates in secret from...
Dr. Daniel Jackson:
...actually, at was less an altered timeline and it was this kind of... but i know what your thinking. You're thinking I'm insane.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter:
And so we had the Stargate powered and it was capable of operating, but none of the random addresses.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
A list, you, you want the whole list of every plant I've ever been to? Okay; Earth you never forget your first. Right!
Dr. Daniel Jackson:
It was just a matter of finding which of the 39 symbols represented the point of origin.
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter:
The symbols in a combination of seven...
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
Known as Casa, it's kind of like space corn; but you know that is a story you are going to hear some day
interogator [male]:
You think this is funny?
Dr. Daniel Jackson:
Everything I can think of I've told you. I mean seriously, who would make this shit up!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
Because it is; funny! And you need to learn that things can be both funny and serious at the same time!
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter:
I've listened. whereas I've been trying to tell you that Earth is in serious danger and you don't seem to give a rat's ass!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
[annoyed] OK, fine! O'Neil wants nothing to do with us, what about Landry! No you see - I know him.
Dr. Daniel Jackson:
[dryly] if you'd like to hear to answer to that question, why don't you go and play your tape back, I'm going to take a break. [smiles quickly, then frowns and drinks coffee]
Lt. Col. Samantha Carter:
Oh my God, for the umpteenth time - I want to talk to someone else!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
I am agitated because this is not the way things are suposed to be!
Major General Hank Landry:
[walks in] Unfortunately colonel, it's the way it is!
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
General, thank you for coming. you flew F-4's in Vietnam, you have a daughter named Caroline, you're wild about Fulvous whistling ducks...
Major General Hank Landry:
Stop right there son, I believe you.
Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell:
[dumbfounded] You do?
Rex:
Mr. Lightyear, now I'm curious... what does a space ranger actually do?
Woody:
He's not a space ran-*ger*! He doesn't fight evil or, or... shoot lasers or fly.
Buzz:
Excuse me.
Buzz:
[Buzz deploys his wings; all exclaim in excitement]
Hamm:
Wow. Impressive wingspan. Very good.
Woody:
Oh, what? What? These are plastic. He can't fly.
Buzz:
They are a terillium-carbonic alloy, and I *can* fly.
Woody:
No, you can't.
Buzz:
[scoffs] Yes, I can.
Woody:
Can't.
Buzz:
Can.
Woody:
Can't, can't, ca-an't!
Buzz:
I tell you, I could fly around this room with my eyes closed!
Woody:
Okay, Mr. Lightbeer, prove it.
Buzz:
All right then, I will.
